Hi Paul,
Sounding good mate
Wouldn't dare advise on lyrics.
The talking style sound fine. Maybe dirty it up a bit more,
throw in a few whoops and hollers
IMO, the keys should all go except the chorus
The BRASS
is where it's at to my ears. I also think some sort of running
BV might work really well with the talky style.
Reminded me a lot of 'Play That Funky Music White Boy',
especially some of the guitar sound. The bass is ace, and should
feature more.......but what do I know
Hope that helps old chap..