Down for the Count - collab with Charles Silhan

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Paulski

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« on: June 30, 2017, 03:17:52 PM »
Chaz came up with a funky track for which I wrote and "sing" lyrics.
Seemed like there was a lot going on musically (stands alone nicely as a funk track without vocals) so I "talk" my way through a lot of it.

My questions are:
  - does the talk approach work?
  - is there too much talk?
  - the too-loud, too-lame organ solo is just a placeholder I fixed the organ solo - hopefully -  is that the instrument that fits for a solo or should it be sth else?

Any other suggs are welcome - please be harsh - it's early days, at least on the lyrics/vocal parts..

https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/down-for-the-count-charles-silhan-collab

thanks in advance  ;D
Paul
« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 08:32:50 PM by Paulski »

Binladeda

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« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2017, 10:21:39 AM »

 Hi Paul,

 Sounding good mate ;D Wouldn't dare advise on lyrics.
 The talking style sound fine.  Maybe dirty it up a bit more,
 throw in a few whoops and hollers ;D ;D

 IMO, the keys should all go except the chorus ;D The BRASS
 is where it's at to my ears. I also think some sort of running
 BV might work really well with the talky style.

 Reminded me a lot of  'Play That Funky Music White Boy',
 especially some of the guitar sound. The bass is ace, and should
 feature more.......but what do I know ;D ;D

 Hope that helps old chap..

Nowt as queer as folk...........my gran

PaulyX

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« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2017, 10:35:57 AM »
Hey Paulski, this is UBER funky... really slick, one of my faves that you've posted.  I thought the talking approach worked really well, particularly since you put tonnes of character into the voice and you are almost singing by the end anyway.  I actually loved the organ solo already ... yep its loud but that makes it really dirrrrty sounding which fitted the song.  Only suggestion I have to make is to have more of a twist to the story in the second half of the lyrics - I was expecting some kind of 'pay off' such as how the narrator manages to deal with 'the count' in the end rather than just getting knocked out twice. Super stuff though, going to play this loud to get me through the washing up in a minute...
It's all too beautiful.

Oldbutyet

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« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2017, 12:02:58 AM »
Hey Paul you might be Down for the Count Man but you're not out, get yourself back up there and give us a encore, as Mickey said to Rocky "You're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crap thunder and by the way, i think your nose is broke, but get yourself back up there"  (sorry got a bit carried away)  8)

Welcome to the spoken world of song Paul and Chaz, Brilliant introduction Chaz and welcome to these songwriters forum post when flow.

Hey Paul i think we're going need a bigger bigger fridge Man  8)

Jenna

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« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2017, 03:58:17 AM »
Nice job on emoting those lyrics. I could really feel your vibe with it. Love the funk, the organ is a great accompaniment there. Totally fits the groove. I think the talking worked well, too. Vocally, you had a bit of a Hank Williams Jr. quality going on. Listen to his voice, and then listen to yours. They're pretty close:

Hank's latest.

Paulski

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« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2017, 04:36:05 PM »
Thanks guys!

@bin - cheers bin. great to get feedback from the groove-meister :)

@PaulyX - thanks Paul - good feedback. I'll think about a pay-off at the end  ;D

@Oldbutyet - thanks Pat - yep a bigger fridge. Means a lot from an expert at the spoken work approach.

@Jenna - cheers for that - Hank Williams jr eh? I'm not hearing a similarity but don't mind the comparison  ;D That's a naughty video BTW  ;D ;D

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2017, 06:40:35 PM »
Could not listen.  Dunno if it's me that's buggy (my system) or soundcloud.
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

Paulski

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« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2017, 06:58:29 PM »
Could not listen.  Dunno if it's me that's buggy (my system) or soundcloud.
Hmmm - I'll check it out later when I get home. Maybe it's a disgruntled SC employee. Thanks for trying!  ;D ;D


Paulski

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« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2017, 08:34:06 PM »
Ahh - I see the problem - I made it public which changed the link - now updated should work.
Can't guarantee it's as entertaining as the video though :)

Jenna

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« Reply #10 on: July 28, 2017, 03:46:11 PM »
Thanks guys!

@bin - cheers bin. great to get feedback from the groove-meister :)

@PaulyX - thanks Paul - good feedback. I'll think about a pay-off at the end  ;D

@Oldbutyet - thanks Pat - yep a bigger fridge. Means a lot from an expert at the spoken work approach.

@Jenna - cheers for that - Hank Williams jr eh? I'm not hearing a similarity but don't mind the comparison  ;D That's a naughty video BTW  ;D ;D

Ha. Old Hank is a naughty man. He learned from the best, I guess.

ScottLevi

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« Reply #11 on: July 28, 2017, 05:17:07 PM »
Wow, really impressed by this.

Your right that it would stand alone fine musically,but daymn  you did a fine job 'talking' over it with style.

Very classy, and in answer to your questions, imo; yes to it works, no to it's too much.

It's easy to understand the words, but would love to see the lyrics as a set to read through.

More like this would be very welcome.

Cheers,
Scott

Paulski

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« Reply #12 on: July 31, 2017, 07:05:08 PM »
Wow, really impressed by this.

Your right that it would stand alone fine musically,but daymn  you did a fine job 'talking' over it with style.

Very classy, and in answer to your questions, imo; yes to it works, no to it's too much.

It's easy to understand the words, but would love to see the lyrics as a set to read through.

More like this would be very welcome.

Cheers,
Scott
Thanks Scott - appreciate the kind remarks.
I'll dig up the lyrics - think I wrote them down somewhere... ;D
Hope to post this in finished songs soon once the final mix is done.

cheers
Paul