Another song of mine which I completed late 2010.

Was going through a brief quasi-political period  , and this one just flowed out onto the blank sheet of paper.

I feel it could really do with a guitarist having a crack at the middle 8 in particular. Any takers? 



TRUTH OR DECEPTION.

V1   I don’t pray in a spiritual way,
        (I’ll) repent or suffer consequences when it’s over.

        Cometh the day, I’ll find the right way,
        Lay on the charm and say to my maker it’s over.

        Above the clouds a peaceful sky, is it heaven there?

        Give me wings, and I won’t care!


V2   I don’t find, peace of mind in…..
       What people say about globalised ways of the new world.

       One man’s freedom is another man’s fight,
       Open season on human rights in the new world.

       Should we be left, or should we be right? Anyway what is there?

       Too much vice, so I don’t care!


CH   Truth or deception, will I find a way? To…

   Make my reflection, on what I know today,

   Could be I’ll find, the tunnel leads to light,

   Truth or deception?


INSTRUMENTAL MIDDLE 8


V3   Weird signs, vivid skies
   And intergalactic spies, the new wave?

   UFOs everywhere, hanging on string
   Flying in the air, the new wave

   The 1950s, what a stage, was it a media dare?

   Maybe a sign, but I don’t care?

CH   (Repeat once, then random wind down.)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1226754&songID=11355409

Hey
I really like the music on this one! I'm not sure I relate to the lyrics as im not politically minded but that being said its still musically brill

Pretty 80s vibe...the synthy bass straight out of a megadrive, chorus'd guitar and even the rhythm. But not necessarily a bad thing at all
The piano was unexpected and kind of weird but perhaps also cool   

Id say the chorus didnt live up to verse...it didnt provided a change or a memorable enough hook. But then the piano after the chorus and the little handclaps were pretty cool
It definitely all fits with the 80s vibe youve got going on...

I agree with Ramshackles. It's all solid apart upto the chorus.

The verses have a great vibe to them. The melody is cool too, the rises on the "i don't cares" are really fun and make you want to join in!

Don't know what you could do to the chorus. Maybe make it sound "bigger" with some harmonies, up the distorted guitar a bit? Or develop the key board riff a bit, make it really stand out.

This is totaly not my kind of music, but I genuinely enjoyed this

Peter

Thouroughly enjoyed this one mate
I do agree with the others though, and to me even the verses sound empty somehow. There are spaces that need filling.

Personally I don't think this is a song you can keep small. The best part for me was when the build up to the end came in. That piano was

really cool. I wouldn't bring it back down at the end. I would make it bigger and bigger. Add some swirling strings and some brass.

Make it really massive and grooving and fade out while it is still massive.

I think some extra instruments i.e. brass would sit nice in the spaces that need filling too. Especially the gap between verses.

I really enjoyed it and I think it would really benefit from that extra effort

its not empty, it's perfect, if you add too much it becomes too long and don't flow so well, dude, really, what you got here is a masterpiece, it's a great song, i agree with every word to it really, it's good to relate to a song...i feel i can connect with you, sweet song man.

Liking the music is more than enough for me, especially seeing as I put in a hell of a lot of hours for every nuance you can possibly hear.

My thanks. Much appreciated. 

Cheers mate. I take this as a big compliment bearing in mind that you're not really in to the standard format (V, CH, V, CH, M8, CH, wind down) thing. 

I put piano in alot of my music, mainly because it's my primary instrument learned from as young as 9yo.

Again, I'm aware this it not your style of choice, so anything positive in this regard is a bonus for me. Much appreciated. 

Brass sounds like a great idea for the M8 in particular. I'll have to look in to that with a bit of experimentation. Cheers for the heads-up.

As to the wind out - Years ago, a friend of mine who owned a commercial studio with three different sound rooms and desks, used to let me sit in on recording runs, studio takes. He gave me some valuable tips which I have never forgotten. One of them was, to always make a proper ending to a song, and that the fade out method so popular in the 70s is really only a radio-friendly or television-friendly method of finishing a song. When you listen. This advice kinds of made sense to me. The end of this track I couldn't find an alternative to what I've actually done, and so really had to just accept it.

I am very pleased that you found some parts of it interesting though. Cheers.   

I am very glad you like it and can relate to it. Much appreciated. Although I wouldn't refer to myself as sweet. 

Respect.

I got told the same thing by my music teacher at school but they are wrong.

Fading in, fading out, adding chorus, whether to use piano or guitar. There are many choices

we make in delivering the ultimate audio experience. Sometimes, let's say the end of an album,

you have got a song that builds up until it becomes this grooving rocking monster... Sometimes you don't want to ruin

that. You might not want to bring it down at the end. Sometimes you might want to give the impression that the band went on rocking long after recording stopped. Especially

when that massive climax is over a repetative riff ( hook ) and there is plenty of soloing or improvisation (which could technically go on forever). It can, when used well be as useful a tool as any

other.

hi cameron
enjoyed your song
intro thought it was a d bowie and latr voc reminds of depeche on slowr medication ,
sounds a little mechanical but so did the 80s,
chorus needs some punch or something to underline it..its a little weak as earlier comments said...
a few OD'd gtr lines might create some waves  ?
that said, good track..
nooms

I enjoyed this, an unexpectedly sweet flowing song. The chorus may not be quite strong enough, I would play around with it and you have a song with real potential.

One thing that niggles me is on the third line of the verse (above the clouds a peaceful day) it's a perfect opportunity to sneak in a change for the better. You're playing E D E D, on the third line start with a G and it will give that line the lift it needs and give a bit of variety to the verse. At the moment the verse seems too repetitive melody-wise.

Just a thought - great song. Well thought-out  lyrics too.

Dom

i don't like your choice of instruments, but this song is great. your voyce is fantastic but i miss the sound off some real instruments here.




gr.   Dan