It was difficult to write this as it meant admitting more than I would have thought I could manage and the experience has left me reeling and lost. I'm sure I can get through this and if this song is truly how I feel then it seems to suggest a solution, though it is a frustrating and indefinite one at that.

A Lullaby For The Brave Backed Up Against The Wall

(Sing me to sleep)
(Sing me to sleep)

If I'm honest
I'm tired

I'm tired of being the hated

In this daydream
I'm restless

Like I'm trying to break myself in two

And I've been crying
For hours

I think I forgot how it began

I have this pillow
Of sorrow

So I rest my head in shame

(Chorus)
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
Maybe I'll be a better man tomorrow
Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And hope that when morning breaks I will have changed

Unstoppable forces
Are slowing

But I don't want to give in

Immovable objects
Colliding

They're building themselves a wall

I'm happy avoiding
The real world

But it's not happy with me

I'm dreaming of something
Just peaceful

The turmoil steals my sleep

(Chorus x2)

I don't remember when I last felt comfortable in bed
With no company but the voices in my head
I'm used to arguments but not on this scale
Reduces me to
Inhale
Exhale

I can't force me
To change

But deep inside I know I have no choice

All I can do
Is wait

Helpless against the world that turns against me

(Chorus x2)

(Sing me to sleep)
(Sing me to sleep)

just beautifull! pillow of sorrow, no company but the voyces in my head, great stuff.


gr.  Dan

hi corsair,
i really felt that.  made me stop.
youve nailed something powerful and the honesty is overwhelming,
thats what your feeling, the truth...
what i felt anyway

do you play/sing or are words your thing ? (unintentional rhyme)

nooms

This gives me the distinct feeling of being quite meaningful but being just beyond my understanding. I wonder if you would care to give it some context? I would understand perfectly if you would prefer not to. Either way, considering the above comments, it works quite well for others to connect with. Writing songs like these is the exact experience that drives me to continue, conflicting, painful, challenging.

To answer you nooms, I'm learning guitar, can get by on bass and am alright on drums. My voice isn't up to scratch though. I need some lessons if I'm ever going to get it right (I can sing well, it just doesn't come naturally). I've been writing lyrics for longer than I've been playing anything though.

And to answer you, innominate, there's not a whole lot of context I can give. It doesn't quite describe a particular situation in my life right now. I'm also not perfectly sure what exactly it means myself, though I'll get it in time (I often write a song then come to understand its relevance later, it's like I'm not quite 'in control' when I write)

Hiya

I really, really like this!

I don't usually bother with lyrics only, but this just grabbed me before I could click out 

I could almost hear the music to these... Somehow I think you made me feel how you wanted me to feel

without (Like Innominate said) me really grasping what the lyrics are really about. That's great writing as far as I

am concerned. Brave of you to bear your soul in such a way without even really knowing what you are sharing.

Powerful lyrics. Poetic, yet still human. Thanks for sharing.

Love the rhythm of the lyrics - really makes them hit home. Found it quite moving actually.

Can't imagine it with music, works so well spoken. Thanks for sharing!

It's a somewhat slow song and the effect ends up being that of almost spoken words, I'm somewhat shocked that could be seen in just the lyrics. I guess the spacing helps give that effect though.
The chorus is more distinctly sung though

I liked this, but would be great to hear it with music! Easy to relate to which in my opinion is very good for a lyric, when the words can have various meanings depending on how the listener sees it.

"I don't remember when I last felt comfortable in bed
With no company but the voices in my head
I'm used to arguments but not on this scale
Reduces me to
Inhale
Exhale"

I like this. "Voices in my Head" I perceive as the hook.

Would consider trying this as an alternative last line  -

"Running round in circles, chasing my own tail"

 

Seeing as the 'Voices in my head' line is from the bridge I'd never written it with the intention of it being a hook. To me, it's written to add some comprehensibility to the whole thing and gives the listener more information so they can perhaps 'decode' the rest of the song while the final chorus plays. The only 'hook' I've written into this song is the 'Sing me to sleep' line (the vocal melody is worked out for this song I should add, I just have no mic) which is why it starts with it.

Ok guys, I've managed to record the vocals. The quality is average, the singing is average and there's no accompaniment but I'm damn proud!

http://soundcloud.com/the-corsair/lullaby-mki

First of all credit where credits due, it takes b@lls to post a song acapella particularly as you take a lot of heat on here for solely posting lyrics

And there is definetely something really worthwhile from the tentative melody

But you are definetly squeezing some words and phrases in to make them fit your rythmn,  you need to make the words fit a rythmn better as its clumbsy in places.  I would encourage you to write your lyrics to a melody/chords (instrument of your choice) to get a better fit

The structure of the song also goes completely from the mid 8 onwards , it isn't as well conveyed as verse to chorus - I realise this is extremely difficult without accompaniment

But well done  

See I always expected you to have an uber low vocal register. Barry White style.

Gotta agree with kaf about the length of your lines. You're fitting them in, but your rapping the beginning of a few lines to do it. Fiddy style, yo!

Peter

*edit* You like Glassjaw, right? If you're taking it heavier you could belt it out like Daryl Palumbo does. That would be 7 kinds of immense