Hey you all!

I am a new member, new to pretty much all of this. I haven't written that many songs but here is my first original song that I have been happy enough with to stick on you tube. I would reeeaaalllly love some feedback. It's an acoustic guitar and female voice, slow, emotional - just listen, you may like it!

Thanks in advance for any comments or feedback - feel free to comment on youtube too.

Sara x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWvqvKJK2Fc


Lyrics:


I know - please don't say it out loud
don't make it real - help me stay strong and proud

there's no one here anymore,
autumn leaves are on the floor

Everything is falling apart at the seams
and you're still in my dreams

There's no one here anymore,
dust has settled on the floor,

(oooohs and aaahs )

There's no one here anymore,
dust has settled on the floor,

the leaves have fallen, it is the autumn of your life
and soon - soon the frost will come

there's no one here anymore,
frost has settled on the floor,

you're gone, youre gone now
off the stage, took your final bow

there's no one here anymore
you've left the floor...


Lyrics and music by Sarakaikk - please ask permission before using them!

I hope you enjoyed it...

 

Hi Sara

I did enjoy this very much.  You have a nice voice and a good ear for melody and harmony.  It has a charming and honest simplicity about it.

I don't feel like there's much I can offer in the way of criticism really.  It's tough with webcam recordings.  

It would be great to hear a more polished recording at some point.

Sorry I didn't reply sooner - I only just saw this thread for some reason...

Keep writing Sara

Tone

WOW!..

Sara I absolutely love this song, to echo Tones response the simplicity of it is beautiful.. You have a sweet voice (I ENVY YOU)... 

The guitar sounds awesome too..  I love the feel of time passing with the use of autum leaves on the floor and frost...  Wonderful.. 

It's refreshing to see a female guitar/singer/songwritter.  Keep writting!!!  Look forward to hearing more.

Espeach

Top song Sara, really nice feel. Would love to hear something of yours recorded properly
Cathy