Two for the price of one.  

www.myspace.com/nathansullivan

It's first in my playlist.  I'd be grateful to hear your opinions.  Constructive criticism is always welcome.  Cheers chaps.

[Edited by Tone]
I've adjusted this thread to be about the song 'ghosts' - I try to stick to one song per thread in the reviews section. @Nathan, feel free to create a new thread for Echo Returns

Hey Nathan   Ghosts is a great song, I've heard it before when you first posted.  Great sound, nice arrangement, strong melody particularly in the chorus. 

Here's what I'd change if it was my song. I'd get rid of the 'do-do-do's at the end of the chorus, doesn't seem to add anything IMO. Also, I think you could work on the phrasing of the verses. The lyrics are fine, but the delivery is a bit flat and lacking dynamics.  Have a play around with the timing and melody on some lines.  Just a little bit of variety will go a long way.  Also, the lyrics have a fairly conversational feel to them, so maybe sing them in a more conversational way.  I hope you get what I mean here, it's not very easy to explain.

Really nice song though, good job

Thanks Tone.  Funnily enough, you're not the first person to say that about the doo doo doos.  I put them in there as a sign of my appreciation of John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival, who uses them heavily.  As for the delivery of the lyrics, I agree entirely that they are a bit flat but unfortunately, this is where my vocal limitations come in.  This song is very high for me, especialy the chorus and I really struggled to hit the high notes!  It is a key example of one of my songs that I feel would benefit greatly from a stronger vocalist.

I disagree about your vocal limitations!  I'm not suggesting that the melody of the verse should jump any higher or drop any lower than it goes now.  It's more a suggestion of adding in some texture to the way you sing it. Draw some words out, cut some others off.  Occasionally change the metre, just a little bit.  Just play with it and see what happens.

I think you're too critical of your voice. Yes, it could be a little more polished, but you have nice tone and you can carry a tune.  That's more than Bob Dylan has, and it never stopped him!

I think your vocal limitations are seated in confidence.  I was once exactly the same, but with practice and relaxation, it's amazing what you can do.

Of course, you can hire a vocalist if you'd rather, but I think a song loses a little something (usually) when it's no longer sung by the songwriter.

I have started having singing lessons just lately and they are helping my confidence, so who knows what the future holds!   I'll experiment with different phrasing and see what I can come up with.  Cheers!

I really enjoyed this song Nathan loved the folky feel at least I got from it .

I agree with the opinion on delivery of verses for the kind of song it is i think the tempo could actually be slightly slower and time it for the right how do i put it..... the right tap on the heart?

However at the same time I never advise songwriters to radically change what first came out on paper as the meaning and soul of a song doesnt need to be brewed, so a slight tweak and you have yourself an even MORE beautiful song.

Gary

Thanks Gary.  I'm glad you got a folky vibe off the song.  I would say that folk is perhaps my favourite style of music but I sometimes struggle to convey that in my songs.  It's all good, I just write whatever comes out! 

I really enjoyed this one too 
I like the lazy feeling that flows through the song carrying you along gently.
I agree with tone about the vocals. You do have a nice "tone" to your voice but yes it could be a little more polished. Although I wouldn't say that that is anything to worry about. Your voice suits this song well. I would be tempted to add some distortion to your vocals in certain parts of the verses or maybe even for the whole verse. To me it seems to be begging for it. A bit like a lenny kravits thing.
Like the song just as it is too though

Thanks very much Schavuitje, that's good to hear.  I wil give a little thought to the idea of a bit of distortion on the vox, I like the sound of that!

cool Nathan,

sounds very natural and relaxed!

Nathan.

I enjoyed the song. I can identify with what you are saying about vocal limitations as I feel a similar way about my own voice. However while I would say that you don't necessarily have a beautiful voice, it works very well with your style of writing, to the point where if it sounded any sweeter it may actually be detrimental. You deliver with character and strength. I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you.

I let your playlist continue to play through and I really enjoyed the other songs, especially Echo Returns. I think you capture an atmosphere within your songs and it keeps them fresh and interesting to listen to. Some nice lyrical work as well. Really good job on everything I heard. You earned yourself a new fan. Just as a point of interest, I personally thought Ghosts was the weaker of the three songs I heard.

I really enjoyed the song. It is well crafted yet lacking (for me) an interesting chord progression. Sorry Tone but I disagree, I like the do do dos. Probably not some peoples cup of tea, yet i like the way they make you concentrate purely on the music and nothing else. My imagination drifts, I like that. Your voice is good but not brilliant and it doesn't need to be. I like the drop out chord, very simple, very effective. I think it contributes dynamically and as a musical hook. I like it! One of the best I have heard on the forum!

Check one of ours out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psPQPTwuWzo

Has a bit of an Aztec Camera vibe

I liked it

Hi Nathan, I've no real criticisms to make about this at all, I really like it. I love the melody esp' the chorus, its got a real nice feel to it. Nothing wrong with your voice either, its got a bit of character. Keep it up, can't wait to hear the rest of the album when it's finished. Ta.
BTW I hope you don't mind but I friend requested you on myspace.

Liam (TNMC)

Hi

Sorry, I've been away for a bit so I've been a bit slack on replying.

Thanks ever so much to everyone who took the time to listen to and give me feedback on my songs.  I am very grateful.  These songs will probably never have anything done with them now as I am forever moving onto the next thing and I've been writing a lot more acoustic folk style music lately. 

I'm not really sure what to do with these though as it seems a shame to waste them?  Maybe I should compile a rough EP of my best (*least rubbish) stuff so far and give it away free?  Any suggestions?  I'm pretty green when it comes to getting my music out there!