I liked this. It sounds as though it should have Kirsty McColl singing to it.

Cheers, I've had some really good feedback. Wasn't sure what to expect but thought I'd give it a go anyway. I'll give Audacity a try and see how I get on with it. Thanx again 

Thanks man I appreciate it, and yeah, I'm happy, life goes on, people change and so do people's minds, everything always falls into place.

For some reason I seem to be writing a plethora of what you might call "comedy" songs at the moment, it's a nice release from love and loss but it doesn't half take me to so very different mental places!

This is one I wasn't sure I was going to release for the consumption of the masses but decided in the end to canvas some opinion.  I suspect it might not ever get performed live but I'll see what feedback I get.

http://youtu.be/HovWDVyTISw

Oh and please don't take it too seriously, its not written with actual intent in mind just as a manifestation of my glumness after a rubbish day at work

Lyrics read as follows

In the office every day
He tells me to work harder
I’d love to slice him up in chunks
and keep him in the larder

In his private office
With shagpile on the floor
A bit of careful filleting
He’d feed a family of 4

Chorus
I’d love to get rid of the boss
I don’t think that he’s leaving
The only way for certain is
To chop him up and eat him

If we’re gonna make a feast
We’ll start with his PA
Stick an apple in her mouth and
That’ll be entree

I wouldn’t like to eat him raw
Like Bear Grylls or Ray Mears
But sautéed with garlic and
Washed down with a few beers

Chorus

I have to laugh at all his jokes
Cause I really need the pay
But he’d be more mature
Hung for 28 days

I’m not the only one
Who’d like to see him gone
But maybe by digestion
Well, that’s a little strong

Chorus ....repeat

I really like it. The emotions come out very well. Cheer up man. The good things about situations like this are that you learn something from them and that sometimes you can make good songs about them.
Keep it up!

very very good. You're talented. Keep it up. I also recommend audacity. It's basic but it's okay. I use it as well.

I've taken in some of the advice I've been getting, and I hope this song shows some improvement. Its a pop song, which would be sung by the likes of Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne etc. Hope you can give me some feedback, thanks, Laura

 Woke up at half past 10
Missed the flight, shoulda been heading to LAX
Where you would be waiting.

When you called last night we were cool
Talking like kids back in high school
Not realising the mess we were creating.

It didn't last
This relationship's gone too fast
So I decided to call it a day,
That's why I sent that text.

We're two worlds apart, and that's not gonna change,
We were trying so hard, but getting nowhere,
It's the distance between us,
That's holding us back,
We're two worlds apart.

I had my suitcase packed
Had my passport ready in my bag
I was so excited

Remember when we first met
I was at the airport when you first stepped off that jet,
You were heading to a business meeting.

I still have my ticket
I didn't wanna rip it
It's staying in my pocket,
Because I'm not quite over it!

 We're two worlds apart, and that's not gonna change,
We were trying so hard, but getting nowhere,
It's the distance between us,
That's holding us back,
We're two worlds apart.

Now you've got a girlfriend,
You're on the mend.
But I don't have a boyfriend,
I guess I'll have to pretend..

 We're two worlds apart, and that's not gonna change,
We were trying so hard, but getting nowhere,
It's the distance between us,
That's holding us back,
We're two worlds apart.

Two worlds apart.

 

I do need to invest in a better setup. But if it sounds ok as it is, I don't need to rush into it. When I upload my next song I'll see what the feedback is like. Work and learning guitar takes up a lot of my time so don't really want to have to learn about production software just yet.

hi david
clearer mix but gtr still a little boomy..imo
could take a tad bass off and pull it back a little as at this volume it argues a little with its neighbours,
thing is to me, the first version has more atmosphere...
i hope im not messing you up here..
so if it was mine, id retrace steps and try and be a little more subtle on what gets altered...

still a beauty though and well worth the trouble..

some good folks on here with great advice about eq, so hold fire for a while for comments

nooms

This is brilliant,

Great production and a clear mix.

I am a bit of a sucker for brass so I love that element of it.

I think you fully realised your intention of invoking a seedy, steamy Columbian bar room.

Very evocative.

Great stuff.