The Worlds End

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PaulAds

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« Reply #15 on: September 20, 2015, 08:53:45 AM »
Feeling a little humbled by all the kindness.

It was a strange experience writing this...not so much the mechanics of it, but because once I'd tuned in to it, the experience was really getting me down...the core of it is that awful moment when it becomes apparent that there's no way out of a situation, and the calmness that's often said to be present when faced with the most traumatic of circumstances.

Gosford Bay is where Christine's body was found...just short of where the high tide reaches.

What I think I learned from writing this is that if you're heart's in the right place, equipped with only the simplest of writing tools, it's possible to produce something better than you ever thought you could.

But - honestly - I'm most proud of you fellas for hearing the girls' story and seeing what I tried to do.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

igg

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« Reply #16 on: September 22, 2015, 05:14:10 PM »
Hey Paul,

Excellent work....Terse , evocative, tight storytelling and great last verse! 
My only question would be...Is it possible to introduce a short refrain between each pair of verses....to serve as a kind of counterpoint to the story itself.  I'm not sure it would work and it certainly doesn't need it to make it's dramatic point!  Just a flitting thought.....

PaulAds

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« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2015, 09:39:12 AM »
Thanks, Igg...nice idea...Ive finished the recording...so it's pretty much done now  :)
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pompeyjazz

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PaulAds

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« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2015, 10:00:43 AM »
Thanks, John

https://soundcloud.com/thefuneralcrasher/the-worlds-end-1

Does that link work?

Not sure my vocals are up to it...any thoughts welcome :)
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

johnlondon

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« Reply #20 on: September 26, 2015, 02:41:36 PM »
Paul, this really needs to go into the finished or wips sections to get the attention it deserves. It will languish into obscurity here.
I came in from the wilderness a creature void of forum

tomcrocus

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« Reply #21 on: September 26, 2015, 02:52:52 PM »
That link certainly does work Paul,it sounds great,
                                                                     tom.

Lyriclee

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« Reply #22 on: October 29, 2015, 06:12:12 PM »
Hi!!

I new to this site, and going through loads and loads of post!! But this really stands out an has caught my eye!!

You paint a very vivid picture and tell an incredible story with your words!!
My favourite bit is:
"there’s one more twist of fate for me
and now it’s much too late for me
just tell them not to wait for me
and please don’t hate for me"

Just the way it flows and rolls off the tounge!!

Your quite the craftsman of words matey!!

I would love to hear this put to music!!

Lee

PaulAds

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« Reply #23 on: October 29, 2015, 07:20:52 PM »
Thanks very much, Lee...lovely of you to say so.

I've had a lot of encouragement and help on this forum...please stick around and be part of it...it's been fantastic for me :)

There are some GREAT folks around here.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Neil C

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« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2015, 09:05:37 AM »
Like this a lot. it reads very personal, the constant rhyming works and as serious fun says, would suit a acoustic number.
 :) :)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..

PaulAds

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« Reply #25 on: November 01, 2015, 09:20:46 AM »
Thanks, Neil...I appreciate that...especially coming from such an esteemed member of this parish :)

'tis done...

http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/song-reviews/the-worlds-end-9933/

heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter