'It's a good world' - acoustic idea

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Alan Starkie

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« on: July 13, 2015, 08:51:19 AM »
Acoustic thing I'm mulling over...

https://soundcloud.com/alanstarkie/its-a-good-world-wip


It's a good world

It's a good world
With good people in it
I don't want to believe
We're not trying our best to make it work

Promise me you'll always think this world
Is a good place
If you can do that
I can promise too

It's a good time
To be alive
I want to appreciate what I've got
And experience my life

A thank you and a smile can touch your heart
So remember
That there's a good world
Trying to break free

Promise me you'll always think this world
Is a good place
If you can do that
I can promise too

If you can do that
I can promise too

empyreantic

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« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2015, 08:57:45 AM »
You got me at the intro. Beautiful playing ;D Personally I really like the muffled sound (recorded with a phone or something?) of this. You should keep working on this, definitely :o
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adamfarr

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« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2015, 12:06:00 PM »
Really liked the unique song idea and different viewpoint. For me it should stay innocent and wholesome, guitar and voice, like Sir Paul's Blackbird. Or maybe with a smidge of whistful keyboard over the top...
Will look forward to its next steps...

sundaysongsmiths

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« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2015, 05:44:33 PM »
Hi Alan,
This is one of our favorite songs/performances since coming to the site.  The changes are interesting and musical and your voice works so well with the song. Kind of a 60s vibe but without sounding at all dated.  Really great job.  Looking forward to hearing more.

Regards,
Jay and Mike

Alan Starkie

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« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2015, 06:08:51 PM »
Thanks a lot for the kind comments guys.

I'm going to come back to this song at some point and finish it.

Cheers.

Iamnewtothis

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« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2015, 07:15:38 PM »
Hi there Alan:

I wrote a really long post on any improvements/ feedback I could give you on the song and I pressed the wrong button and deleted it....

But cutting it short the main points I would say about the song would be:

1.) The verse has good bits of melody within the song, for example: The first two lines to me melody wise are the strongest within the song:
"It's a good world
with good people in it"- That works together well.- It is even a bit catchy.
2.) The chords that you play over the chorus for the words:
"Is a good place" would sound better to me from my point of view coming in earlier than the previous chords you played for the previous line. So if you used those chords for "its a good place" over the line "Promise me you'll always think this world" instead, then that would sound better to me.
3.) I do feel like there could be a stronger chorus in my opinion it seems to build up a little on that bit "is a good place" and then it comes down again.
4.) The song could also use a C Section/ Bridge for further interest, you could try going to the relative minor there and even try that in the chorus too.

I hope that this has been helpful to you, and as I've said this is my perception on how to improve the piece.


Kind Regards
Diane.

shadowfax

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« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2015, 06:33:23 PM »
MMmm..as a song it didn't grab me and found the lyrics to be a little 'twee'..no chorus to grab hold of...
singing and guitar (as usual) is fab...

song needs work.. :) :)

best, Kevin :) :)

RobA

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« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2015, 10:35:37 PM »
Lovely song and playing! Feel a bit cheeky reviewing such a lovely piece cause I'm such a newbie, but as they say, the more you put in, the more you get back!  I got a little lost with the structure for the 1st couple of listens, but it made perfect sense after the 3rd listen. Sometimes it's nice to have a song that flows through without a typical hooky chorus so for me if you can add a little clarity in structure somehow to solve my 1st/2nd listen issue and to make the song really stick in the head, then it's perfect.  Equally you could add a chorus or take this any number of different ways...really looking forward to listening to see how you develop this from this stage to the finished song...as I need some tips!