[zero]

I worked on this a long time ago. There was another forum that I can't find now. Then I was writing gospel so I am not certain this is the final form or not. Back Pages, this is the longest of my fragments. The first and second verse may need to be reversed in position.

Get Gone Blues

When he finally appears
Does he think she hasn't known
While he's drinkin' beer
She's been alone, telephoned
"She calls, tell her I ain't here"

Now I say you choose
Do you want to do wrong
Well, I guess you lose
I got the get gone, get along,
Get out of my sight blues

She hears the door open
And the loud, loud sound
Of the rooster crowin'
He has been down, been around,
Been out all night again

Now I say you choose
Do you want to do wrong
Well, I guess you lose
I got the get gone, get along,
Get out of my sight blues

There's the smell of perfume
Smudge of lipstick on his tie
But to her, that's nothing new
He has swift lies, alibis,
He'll sing her a song or two

Now I say you choose
Do you want to do wrong
Well, I guess you lose
I got the get gone, get along,
Get out of my sight blues

When you choose
To do wrong
You lose

[Sing4me88]

I like this. Interesting switch from 3rd person in verse to 1st person in the chorus. The chorus flows really well too - can imagine it being very easily put to music as such. I think the verses work in the order that they do - switching them won't necessarily add to the narrative as they both kinda start at the same point. Nice wee touch with the intro - great take away message!

[zero]

sing4me88

You caught it! That pronoun switch is the reason this is "back pages." I could never resolve that to my satisfaction.

Do you think I can just let it be? Interesting, maybe?

[Sing4me88]

Hi Zero,
               yeah I think this works as it is so its a case of 'if its not broken don't try to fix it'. The verses work in the chronological order hey are in at the moment. Granted they'd also work in reverse order but I don't see the point in changing them just for the sake of it - it'd neither add to nor detract from the lyric as it is.