[hardtwistmusic]

Posted these lyrics a week ago, and here is the lyric with rough music and vocal treatment.  

www.reverbnation.com/HTMworksinprogress

For those not acquainted with U.S.A. currency, a "quarter" is a quarter of a dollar - Twenty Five Cents.  The lyric is dated a little.  Songs on a jukebox no longer cost a quarter.  Some cost Fifty Cents (a half-dollar) and some now cost a dollar.  I have no idea who puts a whole dollar into a jukebox to listen to one song.  But anyway, there still are a few jukeboxes that still take quarters, even if it takes two of them to play the song.  So anyway, here is the lyric. 


Quarters For the Jukebox.

Vocal Musical Bridge/CHORUS: 
La La La La  -  La La La  - La La La La La La La La   --   
La La  - La La La La La La La


Verse 1. 
Bartender, can you help me.
Can you break this five dollar bill.
I need quarters for the jukebox
Cause This old bar is too quiet and still.

Vocal Musical Bridge/MiniCHORUS: 
La La  - La La La La La La La


Verse 2. 
Drop a quarter into the juke box.
Play a sad song to justify.
These teardrops that keep escaping
From out of the corners of my tattletale eyes.

Refrain: 
These relentless memories
that are stalking my frightened heart.
Are more than my old heart can bear.
They’re so much more than my old heart can bear.


Verse 3. 
I’ll need to play an old song
About a love that was doomed to die.
With a bitter sweet melody.
And a lyric that’s all about saying goodbye.

Vocal Musical Bridge/MiniCHORUS: 
La La  - La La La La La La


Verse 4. 
These tears that are betraying me
Are from memories that haunt me yet.
Memries of Things I don’t want to remember.
Memries of Things I’m afraid to forget.

Refrain: 
These relentless memories
 that are stalking my frightened heart.
Are more than my old heart can bear.
They’re so much more than my old heart can bear.


Verse 5. 
Another quarter – another sad song.
Can’t  do a thing about my fears. 
But I’ll keep dropping those quarters in.
I will need the excuse for my tears. 

Refrain: 
And these relentless memories
that are stalking my frightened heart.
Are more than my old heart can bear.
They’re so much more than my old heart can bear.

 

[zero]

The lyrics have power. The mood of the lyrics will depend on the music, I think. This is a poem meant to be sung.

 I couldn't get the link to play anything so if there is music there, I couldn't hear it.

I look forward to hearing the song with the music.

[hardtwistmusic]

The lyrics have power. The mood of the lyrics will depend on the music, I think. This is a poem meant to be sung.

 I couldn't get the link to play anything so if there is music there, I couldn't hear it.

I look forward to hearing the song with the music.

To play the song, you have to click on the arrow to the left of the listed song.  If you tried that and it wouldn't play, it could be that it just takes some time to begin.  Or it's possible that the site was just down for awhile. 

Let me know if you try it again and it still won't play. 

[zero]

The red bar starts half way across and stops. The volume is at 1/2. I can reset the volume to full but I can't get the music to load. I allowed 10 minutes to start.

No Music!

I would like to hear the musical mood and tone. It could be nostalgic or sad or brave or all three or more together. These lyrics have an interesting range.

Windows has been updating for the new release of Windows 10. That could be creating glitches in sites that worked previously. And because Windows is updating in batches, it might affect some computers and not others at the same time. (Just a Thought)

I will keep checking until it plays.

[hardtwistmusic]

The red bar starts half way across and stops. The volume is at 1/2. I can reset the volume to full but I can't get the music to load. I allowed 10 minutes to start.

No Music!

I would like to hear the musical mood and tone. It could be nostalgic or sad or brave or all three or more together. These lyrics have an interesting range.

Windows has been updating for the new release of Windows 10. That could be creating glitches in sites that worked previously. And because Windows is updating in batches, it might affect some computers and not others at the same time. (Just a Thought)

I will keep checking until it plays.

If you would like, just leave me a private message with an e-mail address and I'll send you an mp3 of the song.   I regret that you have tried so hard to listen and cannot. 

Windows 10.... ARRRGHHHHH.....    I'm still trying to avoid Windows 8.  Time marches on doesn't it? 

[zero]

I sent a private message. This still won't load for me. It would be best if you could get the link to work so the song can be properly reviewed by other people.

I wish you all the luck. The internet is a cranky beast at times

[zero]

I received the MP3. Great!

The lyrics are good but the music does set the mood. The mood and tone are excellent. The melody is country with intriguing twists. The melody alone is a hook.

The only quibbling comment I would have is that it needs to be ballad speed. The speed now is almost Streets of Laredo dirge but that is an minor adjustment.

I Really Like It! Thanks for taking the extra effort to send it so I could hear!

[hardtwistmusic]

I received the MP3. Great!

The lyrics are good but the music does set the mood. The mood and tone are excellent. The melody is country with intriguing twists. The melody alone is a hook.

The only quibbling comment I would have is that it needs to be ballad speed. The speed now is almost Streets of Laredo dirge but that is an minor adjustment.

I Really Like It! Thanks for taking the extra effort to send it so I could hear!

The second I read your note, i could hear in my mind that you are absolutely right.  I've tinkered in my mind with a fairly substantial up-tempo change.  Nice (as far as I can hear in my mind anyway.) 

Thank you very much.  Great ear. 

[zero]

One other thing and it isn't critical. The la la la,

That is good but some good guitar interludes are much better, just play when you aren't singing words.

Just my preference, it is fine as it is : )

[Alan Starkie]

Hey HTM,

Nice idea for the lyrics. Kinda old school Hank Williams.

Not sure about some of the chord changes although they might have just been a little out of time in places.

The vocal melody works very nicely but I too would consider replacing the la's with an instrument.

Cheers.

[hardtwistmusic]

Thanks for the feedback Alan.   Two of you have felt that the "la las" could be replaced by an instrument.

That is a pattern, and I'd better pay attention to it. 

I've thought about replacing part of them with additional lyrics, but I think it's already a little "lyric heavy." 

I'll give it some serious thought and maybe try some taiko drums in that slot.  That will either sound great or awful.  If that fails, I'll try some additional instrument options.   

[MartiMedia]

Hey hardtwistmusic! Great lyrics! I have some suggestions after listening to the WIP.
-The music is too low in volume compared to the vocals imo. I'd raise the volume of the
instrumentals or lower the volume of the vocals so they will be more in balance.
-The music sounds 'MIDI' to me, I miss human touch/groove. Maybe you can add some real
instruments?
-You have a nice (and colourful) voice, but not everything is in tune. Maybe you can record each verse
or chorus seperately a few times and combine the parts that are sung the way you like?
Hope these suggestions help. Thanks for sharing, enjoyed it! MM

[hardtwistmusic]

Hey hardtwistmusic! Great lyrics! I have some suggestions after listening to the WIP.
-The music is too low in volume compared to the vocals imo. I'd raise the volume of the
instrumentals or lower the volume of the vocals so they will be more in balance.
-The music sounds 'MIDI' to me, I miss human touch/groove. Maybe you can add some real
instruments?
-You have a nice (and colourful) voice, but not everything is in tune. Maybe you can record each verse
or chorus seperately a few times and combine the parts that are sung the way you like?
Hope these suggestions help. Thanks for sharing, enjoyed it! MM

You have a really good ear.  Thank you for listening. 

Your suggestion to raise the volume on the music will be followed. 

As for the music "sounding midi" that's one of my limitations.  The only way I can get away from that "Casio sound" is to collaborate with others.  This one has a lot of work to do before it's ready for a collaborator.  Thanks to everyone's input, I can hear multiple things that could be FAR better. 

I appreciate you listening hard enough to hear the vocal flubs.   This is really a first take, one-take effort just to get this vocal treatment out of my head and into a recorded song.  I'll definitely sing it a LOT better when I get done making the changes I now know have to be made. 

Thank you for the help with this song. 

[MartiMedia]

Hey hardtwistmusic! Great lyrics! I have some suggestions after listening to the WIP.
-The music is too low in volume compared to the vocals imo. I'd raise the volume of the
instrumentals or lower the volume of the vocals so they will be more in balance.
-The music sounds 'MIDI' to me, I miss human touch/groove. Maybe you can add some real
instruments?
-You have a nice (and colourful) voice, but not everything is in tune. Maybe you can record each verse
or chorus seperately a few times and combine the parts that are sung the way you like?
Hope these suggestions help. Thanks for sharing, enjoyed it! MM

You have a really good ear.  Thank you for listening. 

Your suggestion to raise the volume on the music will be followed. 

As for the music "sounding midi" that's one of my limitations.  The only way I can get away from that "Casio sound" is to collaborate with others.  This one has a lot of work to do before it's ready for a collaborator.  Thanks to everyone's input, I can hear multiple things that could be FAR better. 

I appreciate you listening hard enough to hear the vocal flubs.   This is really a first take, one-take effort just to get this vocal treatment out of my head and into a recorded song.  I'll definitely sing it a LOT better when I get done making the changes I now know have to be made. 

Thank you for the help with this song. 

Hey hardtwistmusic, you're welcome! Glad you hear the 'casio' sound as well, and no problem it is just a limitation. I could hear the potential of the song. Yeah man, collaborating is a very good idea! Sure you can sing your heart out when the underlying music is more 'human', trust me! I could hear the potential of the voice as well! Good luck and really curious how the end-result is going to sound! MM

[Sing4me88]

Old style Hank Williams is on the mark as Alan Starkie says but I'd go with a touch of Willie Nelson too. Have to say I expected a more upbeat country number than the melancholic number. I read the lyrics very differently - for me the guy wasn't singing in resignation but was singing it in an almost defiant manner. However having listened to the song and re-read the lyrics I can see how it fits the melancholy. Funny what people can read from a lyric and how this differs from what the writer has in mind.