[Boydie]

Hi All

BINLADEDA recently re-posted the first song he posted on this site for review

By pure coincidence I was working on the first song I posted on this forum (back in April 2012!) as I thought it would fit a pitch

I therefore thought I would post it for review as it has been "produced" a bit more

https://soundcloud.com/boydiemusic/hole-in-my-world

Ironically I dug out the old thread AFTER re-working the song and the changes I have made 3 years later pretty much address all of the criticisms in the reviews! - so it goes to prove that the feedback from this forum has directly influenced (improved?) my writing and production

The only thing I haven't changed is the lyric - this is going to be a TV placement pitch so they need to be pretty "universal"

Here are the details of the opportunity I am pitching for:

ACOUSTIC GUITAR-based ADULT CONTEMPORARY SONGS with Male Vocals are needed by a Top-Tier Music Licensing Company that has an enormous list of high-end placements in big budget Films, Hit TV Shows, and Commercials.

They want well-structured, Down-to-Mid-Tempo Songs that could be found on the same playlist as "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran, "Smoke Signals" by James Blunt, "Snow in Vegas" by David Gray, etc., etc., etc.

Please submit songs with a warm, honest, and truly heartfelt vocal performance. You can submit simple guitar/vocal songs if they're really well done, as well as fuller productions that feature an acoustic guitar. Songs should have plenty of attention-grabbing hooks, with memorable melodies, and a chorus that delivers and emotional impact. Lyric themes can vary, but should be universal, avoiding specific references to names, places, dates, times, brands, and profanity.

I did well not swear all the way through it  

Any thoughts greatly received to celebrate my 3 year birthday on the forum

[nooms]

excellent track paul  good luck with it
think you got a good chance , somehow reminds me of first cut is the deepest '  its nothing like it but has that familiarity thing abou it.  nice feel and you sing it really well.. lovely guitar solo, goosebumps as it comes in..hits all the buttons..

a fine first post sir, introduce yourself im sure youll get a great response..
welcome to the forum

[Jamie]

Hi Boydie, love the guitar tones, really nice. Production sounds really good too. I didn't hear this first time round,sounds great. Like the still breathing still believing line! Nice laid back guitar solo, loved it.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[montydog]

Hi Boydie,

Great, simple theme which stitches it all together. I can definitely hear this on a film soundtrack and I think you've covered the brief beautifully. I think the original was before I joined the forum. What makes this work in the context of your brief is that it doesn't shout "listen to me"; it draws the listener in and allows space for other things to be going on at the same time. It stands alone as a lovely, simple, melodic and very like able piece.

I wish you the best of luck with it.

M

[shadowfax]

Good song, well produced, nice hook, good lyrics,commercial...what more more can a song be?

best, Kevin

[Jathon Delsy]

Beautifully fresh lush acoustics lead into an equally slick moderato groove really quite expertly arranged, full of taste and understated excellence. A real catchy song here, very radio friendly, sounds like a pop standard. The earnestly passionate but restrained vocal is perfect.
Nothing to critique here - perfectly arranged, performed, composed, and produced. Lots of commercial appeal too, and a fine mixture of happy and more reflective emotions that shows a maturity of poetry, but also is accessible due to it's expression of universal experience.

[seriousfun]

Like some of the others, your original post was before my time on the forum.

This is lovely mate, it fits the brief so well I think you are in for a top chance on this. I guess it all depends on what else comes out of the woodwork and the personal preference of the panel picking the songs. If the used this I am sure they would be completely satisfied.

The guitar sound ( and playing ) was of a very high standard and the solo was fantastic ( gratz on that ).

The vibe from this combined with the catchy melody and easy going rhythym pulled me right into this. If I produced something half this good I would be delighted.

[Alan Starkie]

Like this a lot Paul.

Nice guitars and the piano is a nice touch. Don't think it needs it throughout though. I look at it as a nice treat that appears in verse two maybe?

I need more bass end!

Great hook.

[Paulski]

Hi Boydie
Perfect hook and hook placement against the melody in this and I love the suspended 5th carrying through the chord changes like that for this genre. Def one of my favourites from you as it is closer to my taste in music than your pop stuff.
Good luck with the bid
Paul

[TheButcher]

Yes; this could be played on the radio - it s a very catchy commercial tune. And i t s so damn hard to write a song like this - writing an accessible pop rock song is maybe the hardest thing to do; so, kudos to you.

Still; i don t here music like this on the radio right now. I think it would have fitted perfectly into the 90ies. But who cares. sounds great. good luck with it.

B

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Very nice Paul.

Catchy, if not with a BIG hook. Fits the brief pretty well as far as I can see.

As I was listening second time I could hear a bigger production of this which I think would work though not for this brief obviously.

It's a really nice song and I wish you all the best with the pitch opportunity.

Good luck!

[James Nighthawk]

Alan mentions needing more low end...

I like this song. The simple hook is somewhat prescient of the "boydie to come"; Simple yet with subtle layers that build around it.

Briefwise I would say it fits very nicely. I wish you well with it!

Production notes:
It seems that most instruments have either been low cut or just recorded "thinly" to start with. Granted, I like my acoustics broad and upfront as you know, but this is particularly thin. Sounds for which this *suits*, such a the lead guitar line (which is very nice indeed) and the brassware sound great, but the bass, guitars, vocals, all sound lacking. One imagines this is largely down to your early stages as an engineer at the time

Nice balance and clarity regardless

JNx

[Skub]

Gotta a 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door' vibe which grabs me right from the off. Classy song,well executed.

Others have mention the need for a tad more bass,so I won't mention it....oh,wait..

A great listen Boydie.

[MartiMedia]

Wow, what a beautiful sounding track! Perfect balance of instruments, great piano arrangement, nice guitar strumming, beautiful voice. Really touched me in the heart. Made me think of 'the Eagles'.
Beautiful guitar solo. I can't think of a single suggestion, it's perfect to me.
Incredible top quality work Boydie, deep respect man!! MM

[Wicked Deeds]

Crystal clear guitars! I love this type of production - a limited number of instruments, cool combination of acoustic and electric guitars. The vocals sit perfectly above the music and the piano is georgeous. It has a very simple and effective message. I'm very impressed.

Very well done!

Paul