'I'm Alive'

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Alan Starkie

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« on: May 16, 2015, 07:30:09 AM »
Been working on this -


https://soundcloud.com/alanstarkie/im-alive/s-eAXXb


I'm Alive


Open the door and close your eyes
I've got a surprise for you
I'm sick of being termed as someone
That you once knew

I'm not sure who gives a damn
I don't even know if I'm one of them
One of the people who look like me

But I'm alive
Turning into someone new
Who no longer needs you
Oh I'm alive
Born into my life again
Taking my first breath
Out of the dark
Into the light
I'm alive

Hidden away behind your smile
Hoping the world might see
Every hurtful thing you did
Made me not want to be

Another number on a page
One more heart stopped by the hidden rage
Of someone who didn't know how to live

But I'm alive
Turning into someone new
Who no longer needs you
Oh I'm alive
Born into my life again
Taking my first breath
Out of the dark
Into the light
I'm alive, I'm alive

Pack my, bags with, nothing
Wash the smile off my face
Climbing down from where you kept me safe
From your fears
It feels so good to lose it all

Now I'm alive
Turning into someone new
Who no longer needs you
Oh I'm alive
Born into my life again
Taking my first breath
Out of the dark
Into the light
I'm alive, I'm alive
« Last Edit: May 19, 2015, 05:01:16 PM by Alan Starkie »

Neil C

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« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2015, 10:51:16 AM »
Alan,
Sometime i find it hard to comment on your stuff as you do things melodically and chordally that is so you. I think I know where you're going and then you take it somewhere I just don't expect and by the second time it sounds right.

Lyrics were interesting, sound about renewal to me.  Currently its a grower and hasn't got a killer chorus or hook although I'm sure it will when you're finished it. I think it needs to continue to build into something fairly passionate and rocky so looking forward to hearing some guitars later;D
Have fun
 :)
Neil

songwriter of no repute..

Irina Rojas

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« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2015, 06:56:33 PM »
Hi Alan!

I love how you turn the Bb minor to a Bb major in the "Who no longer needs you" part in the chorus. If I am right.. it is very appealing though! So are the melodies aswell. I really like the sound of the guitar. Reminds me of some soundtrack in the movie "into the wild", Eddie Vedder I think.

Your voice is powerful and appealing and would fit in a commercial house/pop song! Ever thought about that? :)

However, a bridge would definitely give a final touch. As you mention in your post. (the concept is confusing to me 'cause in my language we use the concept to name "pre-chorus". But I ment like a middle-eight.. a new part added). I want more of this song!

Thank you for inspiration!
/ Irina Rojas

Alan Starkie

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« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2015, 10:30:57 AM »
Alan,
Sometime i find it hard to comment on your stuff as you do things melodically and chordally that is so you. I think I know where you're going and then you take it somewhere I just don't expect and by the second time it sounds right.

Lyrics were interesting, sound about renewal to me.  Currently its a grower and hasn't got a killer chorus or hook although I'm sure it will when you're finished it. I think it needs to continue to build into something fairly passionate and rocky so looking forward to hearing some guitars later;D
Have fun
 :)
Neil



Thanks Neil,

I try to turn a few interesting corners.

I have a bridge idea at the moment that will take the song somewhere else again.

Cheers.

Hi Alan!

I love how you turn the Bb minor to a Bb major in the "Who no longer needs you" part in the chorus. If I am right.. it is very appealing though! So are the melodies aswell. I really like the sound of the guitar. Reminds me of some soundtrack in the movie "into the wild", Eddie Vedder I think.

Your voice is powerful and appealing and would fit in a commercial house/pop song! Ever thought about that? :)

However, a bridge would definitely give a final touch. As you mention in your post. (the concept is confusing to me 'cause in my language we use the concept to name "pre-chorus". But I ment like a middle-eight.. a new part added). I want more of this song!

Thank you for inspiration!
/ Irina Rojas

Thanks Irina,

The part you're referring to is a Bb to a C#6.

The 'Into the wild' comparison is appreciated. Eddie Vedder doing a Ukulele album.... none of us were expecting that lol. He did a decent job though.

The three lines before the chorus are my pre chorus in this.

I'm writing a middle 8 (bridge) at the moment.

Thanks again.

Paulski

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« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2015, 12:39:20 PM »
Hi Alan

Yeah hard to critique as Neil says. Partly because your vocals, guitar and production sound so good it's hard to focus on the song itself. For me, this one is a great listen however when the melody line is sung out-of-chord like you do here, its fascinating to other songwriters like me and enjoyable to hear for all, but it doesn't stand alone without the backing track. I know I shouldn't judge a song by that but I always do. I want to be able to sing the melody line acapella from memory. Some of my own stuff is like that too - I wrote it but I can't find the notes without the chords if you get my meaning.

I don't think it needs a bridge but I'm sure you'll make it work.
Again though hard to advise - be easier if you sounded like crap  ;D ;D!
Paul

kevysc

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« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2015, 02:14:36 PM »
I really like this ... very original and love the guitar work and vocals in particular.

Kevin

Alan Starkie

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« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2015, 05:01:57 PM »
***UPDATE - bridge written and a few ideas thrown in***

shadowfax

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« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2015, 04:14:21 PM »
''Turning into someone new, who no longer needs you'' is a fabulous chorus and you are so under using it,
you gotta sing that at least 4 times (different words after the first line of course)..
the songs a goodun, if it were me I would make the chorus bigger, it's what sells the song and it's so good!!

best, Kevin

sundaysongsmiths

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« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2015, 08:29:24 PM »
Hi Alan,
We really like your song a lot.  Very nice changes, melody and production.  Pretty much all there.  Lyrically the chorus and bridge are solid. The story in the verses has a very personal poetic quality which is nice. Our one thought was that perhaps some specific details that paint a picture the average listener could easily identify with and engender a feeling that "hey, I've been there" may draw them in even more.  Hope you don't mind us nit picking this really fine song.

Regards,
Mike and Jay

Alan Starkie

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« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2015, 11:14:44 PM »
Thanks for the listens everyone.

I'm working on the final studio version now so should have a finished song for ya's in the next week.

Cheers.