[tone]

Hi Mark

Cool John Denver feel to this once the arrangement kicks in (that's a compliment btw). I'm listening on phones, so my mix observations might be a bit off, but the vocal sibilance sounds like it could do with taming. Aside from that it's a really balanced to my tastes.

I'm not sure about the strings - they're sticking out as sounding 'midi' in a mix that sounds very convincing otherwise. Have you thought about using something else in there instead? Some slide guitar would be perfect in my opinion.

Nice tune and solid vocal performance, really good arrangement, lyrics seemed a good fit for this style of song, but nothing really jumped out at me.

Very enjoyable though, and slick production, good work

[Mark Ryan]

Hi Mark

Cool John Denver feel to this once the arrangement kicks in (that's a compliment btw). I'm listening on phones, so my mix observations might be a bit off, but the vocal sibilance sounds like it could do with taming. Aside from that it's a really balanced to my tastes.

I'm not sure about the strings - they're sticking out as sounding 'midi' in a mix that sounds very convincing otherwise. Have you thought about using something else in there instead? Some slide guitar would be perfect in my opinion.

Nice tune and solid vocal performance, really good arrangement, lyrics seemed a good fit for this style of song, but nothing really jumped out at me.

Very enjoyable though, and slick production, good work

I agree about the strings Tone, it was purely due to time constraints that they lack authenticity. When you say some slide do you mean pedal steel or regular slide guitar? It's the John Denver reference that's thrown me a wee bit

[tone]

Pedal steel if you can get it, but regular slide would be perfectly acceptable. Thrown you in a good or a bad way?

[Mark Ryan]

Pedal steel if you can get it, but regular slide would be perfectly acceptable. Thrown you in a good or a bad way?

I don't know yet mate, I'll tell you after I have a fight with a pedal steel which is under a pile of God knows what in my lock-up 

[Friedemann]

I like it too!

little feedback:

music and lyrics don't work together for me - sad lyrics with quite happy music (especially ending on a major chord on "gone AWAY" kinda kills the feeling for me.

The tambourine comes in a little sudden, but this can be easily fixed by letting the bass to a slide into its note, thereby making the transition a little smoother.

like how your arrangement slowly grows with the tambourine, bass, doubled voice and later strings (although I hear some serious arrangement problems here, that and because the sounds aren't great is why it doesn't sound like strings). I feel like it could use a little more after the 2nd chorus. I also would be careful with repeating the chorus yet another time.

hope this helps... if you want some more tips on the string arrangement or anything else, send me a PM or we can also skype!

f.

PS: Everyone is having problems spelling my name it appears

[Mark Ryan]

I like it too!

little feedback:

music and lyrics don't work together for me - sad lyrics with quite happy music (especially ending on a major chord on "gone AWAY" kinda kills the feeling for me.

The tambourine comes in a little sudden, but this can be easily fixed by letting the bass to a slide into its note, thereby making the transition a little smoother.

like how your arrangement slowly grows with the tambourine, bass, doubled voice and later strings (although I hear some serious arrangement problems here, that and because the sounds aren't great is why it doesn't sound like strings). I feel like it could use a little more after the 2nd chorus. I also would be careful with repeating the chorus yet another time.

hope this helps... if you want some more tips on the string arrangement or anything else, send me a PM or we can also skype!

f.

PS: Everyone is having problems spelling my name it appears

Thanks for the offer my friend but I'm very well versed in programming midi data and drawing in modulation and expression curves to make the strings sound authentic I just don't physically have the time to do it. I actually teach this stuff for a living so the last thing i want to do after a hard days work is sit through an online tutorial lol. That's for the producer to worry about anyway, not me 
Thanks for the comments and review.
Mark

[Dan O'Connor]

Beautiful song. Your voice mixed with they lyrics really puts the emotion into it. Top work

[Mark Ryan]

Beautiful song. Your voice mixed with they lyrics really puts the emotion into it. Top work

Thanks Dan, really glad you enjoyed it

Mark

[Cyrn]

Liked this a lot! I'm new to the forum and this is the first track I've listened to to review. As a result, I think I might go away again as the standard is so high!!! Both lyrically and melodically this hangs together really well. The extended chorus works well at the end and the point of the the song is not given away right at the outset.

[TheButcher]

Hi;

jo; like the new mix better; arrangement and instruments works better - percussion kinda countryesque feeling good good.

Really nice song.

I also disagree, that lyrics and music don t fit together. (sad lyrics and happy music) @ Friedman

As i think about it, that comment almost makes me a little angry...just a little

Like, we re not allowed to mix happy music and sad lyrics....wake up bro; this is art.
It s about trying out new stuff - not always repeating the past.

cheers

B

[Friedemann]

Didn't mean to offend you guys!

With the strings I was talking more about the general arrangement - voice leading, that kind of stuff. Wasn't talking about sending you a tutorial either - I suggested talking in private.

And I'm aware that sad lyrics can go well with happy music, although in this case I would use it as an effect to create a certain atmosphere.

again, great work! =)

[Mark Ryan]

Didn't mean to offend you guys!

With the strings I was talking more about the general arrangement - voice leading, that kind of stuff. Wasn't talking about sending you a tutorial either - I suggested talking in private.

And I'm aware that sad lyrics can go well with happy music, although in this case I would use it as an effect to create a certain atmosphere.

again, great work! =)

Hi Friedemann,
You didn't offend me in the least don't be silly I just meant that I'm very familiar with midi programming and techniques, but due to my other work commitments I just simply don't have the time to produce my tracks the way I would if I were putting them straight onto CD. These tracks are possible inclusions to an album I'm due to start recording at the end of the month with a dedicated producer there, so what I'm looking for here is people's opinions as to 2 or 3 songs which are currently missing from the album. The production side of things will be taken care of.

I appreciate what you're saying about the uplifting music, but this is very common within the folk & country genres, which is where this track falls into. Bob Dylan made a career out of catchy tunes with dark lyrics so it's a well accepted form of writing

And once again, no need to apologise, your comments are much appreciated.

Mark

[Mark Ryan]

Liked this a lot! I'm new to the forum and this is the first track I've listened to to review. As a result, I think I might go away again as the standard is so high!!! Both lyrically and melodically this hangs together really well. The extended chorus works well at the end and the point of the the song is not given away right at the outset.

Hi Cyrn,

Thanks for the listen and the kind words.
Don't go away anywhere, people of all experience and standard are on here. Everyone is at a different stage in their development, and each of us have different aspirations and motives for writing. But each is equally important.

Mark

[Mark Ryan]

Hi;

jo; like the new mix better; arrangement and instruments works better - percussion kinda countryesque feeling good good.

Really nice song.

I also disagree, that lyrics and music don t fit together. (sad lyrics and happy music) @ Friedman

As i think about it, that comment almost makes me a little angry...just a little

Like, we re not allowed to mix happy music and sad lyrics....wake up bro; this is art.
It s about trying out new stuff - not always repeating the past.

cheers

B

I agree there's no right and wrong way to make art. One man's shit is another man's gold so to speak
Depending on where in the world you come from, different styles of writing sometimes doesn't compute, as that's just not what you're used to hearing. I worked with a girl from the Faroe Islands a few years ago called Eivor Pallsdottir, and she was mystified that I had married a traditional Gaelic tune with a more modern rock/blues arrangement. It was like some sort of sacrilege as far as she was concerned. A couple of years later she asked me to work on an album with her where she was doing exactly that, whereas previously it was like some kind of alien language to her. A lot of European countries tend to keep their arrangements very traditional and well within the lines of the genre, and going outside just isn't done, so I can maybe see where Friedemann is coming from, maybe he comes from one of these such countries himself. But all opinion is good opinion if it gets you thinking
Thanks for your comments and review, very much appreciated
Mark

[Wicked Deeds]

Take a look at all the damage that you've done - Beautiful - speaks to me! A lovely song sung beautifully to the appropriate instrumentation!

Paul