[Marrianna]

CAN'T TAKE A GUESS

V1
Another light has gone out in my every day life
She left a memory of friendship, mother and wife
A friend whose smile lifted the saddest of hearts
With a voice like music that now never starts

V2
She was special and caring, why did she have to leave
The answer's in the stars, with such sorrow I grieve
There's no-one to fill the place she took
And there's no-one I see wherever I look

CHORUS
This life, can't take a guess what it means
This day, can't say what happens to dreams
These thoughts, can't explain in words
But I can hear her voice in the songs of the birds

V3
When I wake I am wondering in a bewildered way
About times, the laughter, Oh, why couldn't she stay
For not only her friends, but those closer, so near
The children, their father, who've lost someone so dear

V3
I was thinking and picturing in an imaginative mind
A bright door that opened for her, someone so kind
Now singing with choirs, but so fragile and frail
And then quiet, as angels cast their comforting veil

Chorus
This life, can't take a guess what it means
This day, can't say what happens to dreams
These thoughts, cant explain in words
But I can hear her voice in sweet songs of the birds

End
Everyone shares, maybe now, the future, or then
And brings us together, but can't take a guess when

copyright
words
Marrianna (C) 2015

I would like some appropriate music which could go with these tribute words. Any offers?

Thankyou for reading

Marrianna

[Mystic Dreamer]

Here's what came to me. 

Maybe some real musicians can use some of this as ideas:

https://soundcloud.com/user7087208/cant-take-a-guess

I didn't do the ending you wrote.  My recording ends kind of abruptly. 

Here's the chords I used:

Verses:
C/ Dm/
G/ C/
C/ Dm/
G/ C/

Chorus:
Am/ G/
Am/ G/
Am/ G/
Am/ G/

Pretty simple arrangement.

This is just me playing guitar and singing.  This song would do well to have full instruments behind it, violins would be good.

In any case, This is what I came up with.

[Marrianna]

Mysticdreamer

What can I say? I am overwhelmed by this beautiful interpretation The music and singing is perfect and
I felt so emotional listening.
It is my birthday and, although the tribute in the words is sad, it is a wonderful present to find  you had this surprise on here this morning.

Thankyou so much and will write some more here later.

Marrianna

[Marrianna]

CAN'T GUESS

New song  with music and performance by Mystic Dreamer

Mystic Dreamer
I wonder if I could put this on the Finished Songs thread?

So overwhelmed

Marrianna

[Mystic Dreamer]

Mystic Dreamer
I wonder if I could put this on the Finished Songs thread?

Hold off on that for a bit.  I might be able to clean it up a bit and add a nicer ending.   No guarantees that I'll find the time.  But but if you hold off for a while I'll see if I can find time to work on it a bit more.  Things are a bit hectic here right now though, so it might be a while.

[Marrianna]

Hi,

Yes, I will wait and, in the meantime will sort the awkward to sing words in line 1 of verse 3.
Maybe you would be able to change it to:

          I was thinking and imagining, picturing in my mind.
or       I was thinking and picturing in my imaginative mind.

If you could, that would be great. If not, don't worry. I look forward to however you work on it when ever you have the time.
If you chose the picture to go with the recording on Soundcloud, it is beautiful and so appropriate.

I tried to leave a grateful comment but didn't succeed and so I am sorry about that. I tried several times.

Thankyou again

Marrianna

[Mystic Dreamer]

Hi,

Yes, I will wait and, in the meantime will sort the awkward to sing words in line 1 of verse 3.
Maybe you would be able to change it to:

          I was thinking and imagining, picturing in my mind.
or       I was thinking and picturing in my imaginative mind.

There were several places where I would have worded things a little differently.  I didn't want to mess with your original thoughts too much.

On this particular line I would have written something more like.

I saw a vision, in a dream in my mind.

The word "imaginative" is really tough to fit in there.  I tend to go for really simple words whenever possible.

If you like I can go over the lyrics and offer some suggestions before I do the next take.  Like I say it's going to be a while.  I'm trying to get a violinist to chip in and help add more substance to the music.  I don't know if I can find someone yet or not.  I have someone in mind, but I don't know if he'll be willing to do it yet.

I'm not a real great musician so my rendition is a bit "choppy". 

If you chose the picture to go with the recording on Soundcloud, it is beautiful and so appropriate.

I wanted a picture appropriate for the piece so I typed into Google Images "In God's Hands" and when I saw that picture I knew that was it.   It fits the song perfectly.

I take it this is a song about your wive?  Very sorry for your loss if that's the case.  This is why I didn't want to mess with the lyrics too much. I think it should convey your thoughts as much as possible.  But yeah, getting rid of the word "imaginative" is a good idea.  It's sounds like an interesting word on paper, but it doesn't sing very well.

I'll go over the lyrics and offer some suggestions whilst trying to retain your original thoughts.

[Marrianna]

Hi again,

I fully agree that some more tweaking may be necessary and you did a great job singing in-an-imaginative mind but I could tell how awkward it must have been.
  My loss is a friend and we were linked through music although she didn't write music herself. There is a background story which I could be ready to share when the work on the song has been done.

For you to tidy up the recording may be just the start I need with the line changed as mentioned. As the words came to me as a tribute, I would like to keep to those for the original version, but later on, it would be nice to see what ideas you would add or change to improve it as a song in its own right.

Whichever way, I'm sure a violin would enhance the recording, but the recording you have made would still be great with just a bit of tidying up, as you have said.

Thankyou again for what you have done so far. Do I detect a hint of Ireland in your voice?

Best wishes
Marrianna

[Mystic Dreamer]

Actually there aren't many lyrical changes I would make other than the one we already discussed.

In the first verse I would change "smile lifted" to "smile brightened".  It's trivial change but seems to sing better for me.

The other lines I have a slight problem with are the following:

There's no-one to fill the place she took
And there's no-one I see wherever I look

I'm tempted to sing:

There's no one to fill her special place
and no one I've seen has her magical grace

Do I detect a hint of Ireland in your voice?

I've never been to Ireland but I do have some Irish in my genes.  I'm drawn to Celtic culture and mystical performances by Celtic Woman.  I'm also drawn to faery lore and things like that.  

[Marrianna]

Hi Mystic Dreamer,

I am almost sure the recording is smoother and balanced. The words are clear, every one of them, and the performance does everything to bring out different emotions from the heightened emotion in the first 3 lines of the chorus to the softness of the last line (of the chorus).

Your singing has brought out an understanding of the words and even the word 'imaginative' seems to have settled in and sounds less awkward.

It is still very new and so need to listen some more, but I love it even without the changes of words. I am thinking about those two lines you suggest small changes to, but not sure yet.

I still feel very moved by the performance and recording so another thankyou to you.

Marrianna

[Mystic Dreamer]

I've contacted a violinist who's willing to contribute.  But he can't do it until later in the week.

I'm not going to make a lot of changes to the music.  Just some slight improvements (hopefully they'll be improvements).  And my main concerns is the ending.  It just kind of hangs up on you at the end.  I'd like to give it a little more time for the music to end instead of just crashing into a wall.

So they'll just be slight changes. And hopefully they will be improvements.   I can use the original wording if you like.  It's your song.  I'm just offering suggestions.  Just let me know precisely what wording you want me to sing and I'll do my best.  If you want me to stick with the original lyrics I can do that.

[Marrianna]

I look forward to that and please pass my thanks on to the violinist for agreeing to contribute.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but would you be able to retain a copy of this version I am hearing now? I am not able to download it but really would like this version as the first before any changes.

With Best Wishes

Marrianna

[Mystic Dreamer]

You can download the current version from SoundCloud to mp3 using the following link:

Download SoundCloud to MP3

By the way, life is unpredictable.  You never know, this might end up being the only version available.  I'm mean I'm hoping to redo the song.  But plans don't always become manifest as reality.  Especially for me. 

So yeah, you better grab this version whilst it's hot. 

[Marrianna]

Oh, mustn't be pessimistic about it, though. I really hope it all goes ahead without any problems.   Will write any changes to the words later today hopefully so hope you look in.

Edited today 4th Feb.

best wishes

Marrianna

[Marrianna]

Mystic Dreamer

Hi  .. You have mentioned the ending being abrupt and I look forward to ideas you may have and if you will use them.
I'd like to say, nevertheless, that once you added the last chord on the guitar, the way it leaves a silence is a bit like at the end of a hymn in church or after an emotional musical work. That silence is a time for thought and no-one wants to speak to break the silence. This is how it works for me, but if you have ideas for the violin, then that will make it even more emotional, beautiful and wistful if I am hearing it correctly in my head.

Will check the words next.

Thanks as always

Marrianna