[hardtwistmusic]

This is the first thing I've written in months that seems to me to have much promise.  Please let me know what you think of it's potential.  MODIFIED 30 January to reflect changes suggested her in this forum.  NOTE:  MILD profanity (the word "damned.")

ANY DAMNED FOOL

Verse:  
Any fool can fall in love,
there’s really nothing to it.
What could fools be thinkin of?      
but fool’s are gonna do it.  

Pre-Chorus
It takes a fool to fall in love.    ---     And, any damned fool can fall.  

CHORUS:  
Any fool…. And every fool, ….   Yeah, any damned fool at all.
Any fool can hit his knees to grovel, beg, and crawl.
Any fool who’s fool enough can hit that damned old wall.
It don’t take someone special….. Just any old fool at all.
A lonely heart’s a foolish heart,  and  any damned fool can fall.    

Verse:  
Elvis told us “fools rush in”    
We probly  shoulda listened.
But fools just think of ruby lips  
They hope to soon be kissin.  

Pre-Chorus
It takes a fool to fall in love.   ---     And, any damned fool can fall.
  
Chorus:  
Any fool…. And every fool…. Any damned  fool at all.  
Any fool can hit his knees to grovel, beg, and crawl.
Any fool who’s fool enough can hit that damned old wall.
It don’t take someone special….. Just any old fool at all.
Love stalks every foolish heart,  and any damned fool can fall.    

Verse:  
Wise men never fall in love.        
At least that’s what they say.  
But I suspect a wise men could  
become a fool today.

Pre-Chorus
It takes a fool to fall in love.    ---     And, any damned fool can fall.  

CHORUS:  
Any  fool….    And every fool…. Yeah, any damned fool at all.  
Any fool can hit his knees to grovel, beg, and crawl.
Any fool who’s fool enough can hit that damned old wall.
It don’t take someone special….. Just any old fool at all.
There’s no fool like a lonely fool, and any damned fool  can fall.    

  

[Neil C]

Vernon, I like the concept, the words and it reads well. Just wondered whether 2nd verse would be better with an 'I' rather than 'we' to move it from generic to personal would be a nice touch to consider.
 
Neil

[PeeJay]

Hi Verlon,

I liked this one.

This chunk in particular -

'Elvis told us “fools rush in”
We probly shoulda listened.
But fools just think of ruby lips
They hope to soon be kissin.'

I thought maybe the word 'fool' was overcooked a bit. There are only about five or six lines where it doesn't appear.

Phil.

[hardtwistmusic]

Vernon, I like the concept, the words and it reads well. Just wondered whether 2nd verse would be better with an 'I' rather than 'we' to move it from generic to personal would be a nice touch to consider.
 
Neil

Hi Neil:   Interestingly enough, that verse started out exactly as you think it should, then I shifted it to match the "person" of the rest of the song.   It sure sings stronger your way (and my original way.)  Do you think the "mismatch" with the rest of the song is a small enough negative to shift it back? 

Anyone with an opinion on this is welcome.  I like it better the way Neil suggests, but just wonder about the mismatch.

[hardtwistmusic]

Hi Verlon,

I liked this one.

This chunk in particular -

'Elvis told us “fools rush in”
We probly shoulda listened.
But fools just think of ruby lips
They hope to soon be kissin.'

I thought maybe the word 'fool' was overcooked a bit. There are only about five or six lines where it doesn't appear.

Phil.

Quick question Phil.   Do you think that verse should have led off the song instead of the first verse?  Would that be a better sequence?   

AND.... it's interesting that was my least favorite verse when I originally wrote it and I had to work it over and over until it flowed and fit.  It took so much work that I never really noticed that it was the strongest of the verses until you pointed it out. 

I'll also look at and try to reduce the number of times "fool" appears. 

[benjo]

 HEY VERLON

 yeah i like this one bud

 i don't see a problem with the amount of fools you have in there
 as long as it works and to me it does
 there are plenty of songs that have a word in it a lot
 if you use it right it can become a hook

   a lot of thought / work in this can't wait to hear it

 love the reference to ELVIS you worked that in well

                     nice write enjoyed it very much

[hardtwistmusic]

 HEY VERLON

 yeah i like this one bud

 i don't see a problem with the amount of fools you have in there
 as long as it works and to me it does
 there are plenty of songs that have a word in it a lot
 if you use it right it can become a hook

   a lot of thought / work in this can't wait to hear it

 love the reference to ELVIS you worked that in well

                     nice write enjoyed it very much

The vocal melody came real naturally as I was writing, so it shouldn't take too much time to put music to this.  The biggest hang-up when a melody comes so easily is waiting awhile to make sure I can't think of anyone I might have plagiarized.  Sometimes the easy ones are easy for a reason.  ;o)

[PeeJay]

I think they work as they are.

First verse sets the scene, second one adds a bit more oomph with Elvis and ruby red lips and the third takes a bit of a diversion moving from fools to wise men but we find out even they are susceptible to the allure of a little romance!

[Paulski]

Hi HTM
Lots to like about this one. There's no shortage of fools in the world so why limit their numbers in your song?  My biggest nit with the lyric is the word "old". I think you should remove it from the hook and call it "Any Fool". Reasons? Firstly it limits your audience to only us older types connecting and relating to it. Secondly, very few singers want to sing a song that basically admits that they are "old" especially if you want to market this piece. Feel free to ignore me.
Otherwise a solid write. Good to have you back in the fold.
Paul

[Peppermint]

Nice lyrics, nice song and nice flow.
And not overdone on the easy rhymes either i like it.

Peppermint 

[Vintage54]

      Liking this!
         It's got music, it's got rhythm, who could ask for anything more? Though i do think the chorus could do with a little work, and i agree with Paulski that the "old" could be dropped. But those are minor quibbles in an otherwise enjoyable write.

                        Well done
                           Vintage54

[PENKSLYRICS]

Hi Verlon

Absolutely love this, it's really well constructed. Can hear a tune in my head while reading it, which is a good sign.

To me the repeating of fool is what makes it so likeable and catchy, so I definitely wouldn't remove any.
Although I do agree with Paulski's comments on the word old does tend to alienate it.

Best, Roger

[hardtwistmusic]

Thanks to Paul, Vintage, Peppermint and Penkslyrics. 

I've modified the lyric to reflect most of your suggestions.   The interaction here has REALLY improved this lyric IMO.   Thank you guys a lot.