[Vintage54]

            This could be my last post for a spell, ( and the chorus sings, thank God for that ) Suffering from a shortage of time. But will try and come again now and again, ( and the chorus sings, Please don't bother ) This is incomplete to my way of thinking, and could possibly use a chorus, if you agree, throw some my way, open to suggestions.

                                      Stand

                I'll stand with any outlaw
                That's shooting straight and true
                I'll stand till the bullets fly no more
                I'll stand with the bull
                In the ring of confusion
                Gainst the blood thirsty crowd and matador

                I'll stand with the captain
                That is sinking
                Trying to break the waves of the dirty seas
                In the forests that bend
                To tyranny's wind
                I'll stand with the roots of the trees

                And i'll stand with those
                That have nothing
                Those that ride the hobo train
                I'll stand with those
                That are thirsting in the sun
                And those that are drowning in the rain

                And i'll stand
                With those that are different
                That the finger pointing judges throw in jail
                Wherever the hammer
                Of injustice comes down
                I'll stand with the hard driven nail

                And i'll stand
                With the old folk and the orphans
                Who know the thoughts of the unwanted refugee
                I'll stand with the bird
                That's still singing  in it's cage
                Though it's never met the wind that's blowing free

                And i'll stand with the kind of individuals
                Who never got the meat
                Only the bone
                Who gladly missed the chance
                Cos they didn't want to dance
                To anybody's heartbeat but their own.



       

[Neil C]

Vintage,
Loads to like in this, both the concept and some of the really great lines in here. Wouldnt change them. Favourite: Wherever the hammer Of injustice comes down I'll stand with the hard driven nail

Chorus? Probably could do with a short simple one given you've got 6 verses.
Hope work doesn't get in the way too much.
 
Neil
 

[Vintage54]

         Neil,
             Thanks a lot man, youv'e been a great believer in my posts, and i can't put into words how much that means to me. I'd already logged out, but took one more peek, and felt you deserved a thank you at least. You and i are strangers in some ways, but friends in others, i like to think the latter is true. Pity your'e not closer, in terms of miles, could have been interesting, bigger than the Beatles.

                                      Vintage54

[PeeJay]

Hi,
Plenty of good lines in this but could do with a chorus to break it up as has been stated.
I would think any chorus would make reference to 'sitting' as a counterpoint to the title.
Sitting down satisfied that he's made a stand so to speak!
Nice one,
Phil.

[benjo]

 HEY VINTAGE

 i would call this lyric / song     AND I'LL STAND

 then i would single that title out a few times through the song as the hook
 like,      AND I'LL STAND, AND I'LL STAND, AND I'LL STAND
 driving home the determination to   STAND

   hope you know what i mean but just a SUGG
 
 some really good lines in this,  gave good imagery for me
 
            nice write
 
 

[Eospete]

"And i'll staaaaaaand" on a high note would make a great refrain at the end of each verse really driving the message home and giving a good outro and,or intro. This would make the song very anthemic. Reminds me of the feel of Biko by Peter Gabriel which always gets his audience chanting along to the refrain as his band leaves the stage.
Very powerful messages. Might be worth pitching this finished work to Amnesty Int.
P

[Paulski]

Hey Vintage54

If you're still here man, give your head a shake  !
I'm kind of in the same boat - no time - but I'm thinking, lame as my songs are, people that are important to me will remember my songs (I hope) but the stuff I do at work will fade into corporate oblivion...

As far as this lyric goes, another strong write IMO and I'm with Tony on a repeated "I'll Stand" being the chorus.

And please don't sit out from this forum too much  !

Best
Paul