Nowhere to run - WIP

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MarkJMusic

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« on: January 13, 2015, 07:34:37 PM »
Hi,

I just started writing songs again about 8 months ago after a break of about 14 years. I'm in the process of recording one of my songs. It's not finished yet as I need to record the final vocal and I might change the lyrics a bit but I'd appreciate feedback. I suppose the style of music is singer/songwriter :)

https://soundcloud.com/mark-johnson-songs/nowhere25/s-MRXs1


Lyrics

Can you feel me somewhere inside you.
'Cause you're all i see and i can't get out.
These walls stand between us.
But our aching hearts are pulling them down.

There's nowhere to run now
so we crash to the ground.
It's too dark to see
So we move to the sound

I want to know you, as you lie beneath me.
Feel the warmth of your skin, the tighter we're wound.

Let me show you the heights I'm seeing
Then hear you moan as we come back down.

There's nowhere to run now
so we crash to the ground.
The beat of our hearts
is the only sound

I long to  feel you tremble
in those moments   when no one else is around.
Touch the ink on your skin, the curve of your lips,
the lines of your frown.

Please believe me,
when I tell you this passion has no bounds.

There's nowhere to run now
so we crash to the ground.
It's too dark to see
So we move to the sound
« Last Edit: January 13, 2015, 07:43:25 PM by MarkJMusic »

Jambrains

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« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2015, 09:50:27 AM »
Hey, I like this! A good, solid performance and nice vocals. Builds up nice as it progresses. If this one was mine I would consider it done and not WIP since overall it sounds very good to my. I think that the drums are a bit to low when they come in (but later on the level is just fine). Love the tremolo guitar solo! Maybe the occasional vocal overdub or harmony could be added?

/Johan

MarkJMusic

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« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2015, 10:21:04 PM »
Thanks for the feedback Johan.

I'm not completely happy with the vocal like I said and want to rerecord it, I've had a cold for a couple of weeks but will probably redo it this weekend. This is the first time I've tried mixing a song and as someone pointed out on another forum I'm not taking advantage of the stereo space and most of the instruments are bunched up in the middle.

I've tried spreading them out a bit and its starting to sound better so hopefully the final version will sound better than the one I've posted  :)

I'm a bit reluctant to add harmony as I'm a worried I'll ruin it by trying to over produce it, like I said it's the first track I've tried to produce and I'm still learning.