[Vintage54]

        This a song about a young guy, who lost his wife to cancer, and the emptiness he feels. It's sentimental, but i hope it doesn't come across as maudlin. Comments always welcome.

                                      Empty

              That old cracked barometer
              Still has a point of view
              It's telling me the weather
              Will be fine
              But it will take more than a finger
              To convince me that it's true
              And turn these days of water
              Into wine

                   And felix licks his paws
                   Beside the fire
                   Home sweet home hangs on the wall
                   Beside the door
                   And i sit down at the table
                   With a frozen meal for one
                   And it doesn't feel like home here anymore

              Skylark tongues pour silver
              From skies of cloudless blue
              And the dusty earth
              Cracks open in the sun
              And eyelids become heavy
              On lazy afternoons
              And the flowers
              To the hummingbees succomb

                  And i walk along the coastal path
                  And hear below me
                  Kids laughing with the waves
                  Upon the shore
                  And though the day is pushing ninety
                  Without your sunny smile
                  It doesn't feel like summer anymore

              There's a lonesome redbreast burning
              On the branches of a bush
              Doing the work
              Of all the absent leaves
              There's a scattering of breadcrumbs
              On a tablecloth of snow
              Where starlings bunch
              Like necessary thieves
       
                 And down the street
                 The christmas lights are shining
                 Where kids unwrap their presents
                 On the floor
                 And i'm surrounded by my family
                 And the company is good
                 But it doesn't feel like christmas anymore.



              In the sun

[Paulski]

Some great lines in this Vintage - I esp liked:

That old cracked barometer
              Still has a point of view

and

Where starlings bunch
              Like necessary thieves

From a Canadian perspective there are a couple of anomalies - I think we call hummingbirds what you called hummingbees, and our redbreast bird is a robin and they bugger off south for Christmas and leave the rest of us to brave the cold.

From a song lyric point of view this would make a marvelous Christmas song if you mentioned Christmas earlier and called it "It Doesn't Feel Like Christmas Anymore" Sort of a melancholy Christmas sandwich if you get my meaning.

From a poetic point of view, super manipulation of words to evoke strong images, as usual with your stuff.

Paul

[Vintage54]

            Thanks man!
                  Taken on board, but i aint gonna touch this again, it's already behind me. Got a christmas song in mind, but you know me, it's gonna be one step happy and two steps sad. Why my songs have to be that way, i could not tell you. If you knew me, you would also wonder. Iv'e got a satisfied mind and a happy disposition. It's the guys i listen to i guess. Was it Elton John who sang, sad songs say so much, i don't know. Thanks again for the positivity, would love to shoot the breeze with you someday, over a glass, and though we've never met, i call you friend.

                                      Take care
                                         Vintage54

[Paulski]

would love to shoot the breeze with you someday, over a glass, and though we've never met, i call you friend.

Back at ya Vintage my talented mate!

[richardvocal]

Damn I love this forum. My musical environment is largely loud n proud and that's mostly what I write for and what I listen to. Rarely do I sit and absorb a lyric that would stand up as poetry. Vintage, you are a poet. This is a great lyric.

On the ornithological front,  in Northern Europe the sight of a robin in a tree is as iconic a symbol of winter as you an get.  Paulski's robins are plainly cissies