[HeyYou]

Would love your feedback/comment

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Too Scared To Tell

Your hands are so strong
And they make me feel so safe
So hold me in your arms
And don't let me go... keep me warm
Don't let me feel the cold

Touch me and tell me you love me
Kiss me and let me feel the taste of your lips
Lay beside me and look at me
Tell me you love me cause
Babe that's all I need... That's all I need...

Chours:

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

Everyday with you feels like a dream
And I don't wanna wake up
No... I just wanna be with you
I just wanna feel your love

Chours:

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

I brought myself down
Now I can't get up
I touch the ground
And it feels so real
I need to go I need to stay in my dream
Cause I can't live with the fact you might not love me

Chours:

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

[hardtwistmusic]

Would love your feedback/comment

--------

Too Scared To Tell

Your hands are so strong
And they make me feel so safe
So hold me in your arms
And don't let me go... keep me warm
Don't let me feel the cold

Touch me and tell me you love me
Kiss me and let me feel the taste of your lips
Lay beside me and look at me
Tell me you love me cause
Babe that's all I need... That's all I need...

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

Everyday with you feels like a dream
And I don't wanna wake up
No... I just wanna be with you
I just wanna feel your love

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

I brought myself down
Now I can't get up
I touch the ground
And it feels so real
I need to go I need to stay in my dream
Cause I can't live with the fact you might not love me

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

Touch me and tell me you love me
Kiss me and let me feel the taste of your lips
Lay beside me and look at me
Tell me you love me cause
Babe that's all I need... That's all I need...

That Verse is particularly powerful and strong.  It says so much in so little space.  The rest of your verses don't quite live up to this one's power.  I would suggest you aren't done with the verses yet until they reach the standard you have set with this one.  I'd keep working them. 

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

The "til I touch the sky" line is hackneyed, overly obvious, and cliched.   It's a good chorus if you can replace that line with something much better and more original.  Currently, I feel that it's ruining a very good chorus.   Easily fixed, and you WILL improve the song by replacing it. 

The potential in this song is exceptional.  I just feel you aren't done tweaking it yet.

[HeyYou]

Would love your feedback/comment

--------

Too Scared To Tell

Your hands are so strong
And they make me feel so safe
So hold me in your arms
And don't let me go... keep me warm
Don't let me feel the cold

Touch me and tell me you love me
Kiss me and let me feel the taste of your lips
Lay beside me and look at me
Tell me you love me cause
Babe that's all I need... That's all I need...

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

Everyday with you feels like a dream
And I don't wanna wake up
No... I just wanna be with you
I just wanna feel your love

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

I brought myself down
Now I can't get up
I touch the ground
And it feels so real
I need to go I need to stay in my dream
Cause I can't live with the fact you might not love me

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

Touch me and tell me you love me
Kiss me and let me feel the taste of your lips
Lay beside me and look at me
Tell me you love me cause
Babe that's all I need... That's all I need...

That Verse is particularly powerful and strong.  It says so much in so little space.  The rest of your verses don't quite live up to this one's power.  I would suggest you aren't done with the verses yet until they reach the standard you have set with this one.  I'd keep working them. 

Then hold me high till I touch the sky
Let me dream it, it makes me believe it, forget the reality
Forget that I'm too scared to tell you
How much I love you...

The "til I touch the sky" line is hackneyed, overly obvious, and cliched.   It's a good chorus if you can replace that line with something much better and more original.  Currently, I feel that it's ruining a very good chorus.   Easily fixed, and you WILL improve the song by replacing it. 

The potential in this song is exceptional.  I just feel you aren't done tweaking it yet.

Thanks for the feedback. I'll think about what you've said..

[diademgrove]

Unlike Verlon I thought the verse and chorus were good. I'm not keen on the "And"s and So in the first verse, I think the verse is better without them. Same with the chorus. I'd have written "make me believe it" and "Forget I'm too sacred to tell you". Just one of my quirks so feel free to ignore me.

Keith

[HeyYou]

Unlike Verlon I thought the verse and chorus were good. I'm not keen on the "And"s and So in the first verse, I think the verse is better without them. Same with the chorus. I'd have written "make me believe it" and "Forget I'm too sacred to tell you". Just one of my quirks so feel free to ignore me.

Keith

Thanks for the feedback
Any other comments?

[benjo]

 i think you have a nice write here


 a little confusing in parts with the being in a dream but not being in a dream

 some good strong lines in this and a lot of feeling too
 i like the emotion of it


           i'd love to hear this put to music