konalavadome

"Head High"

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SolfiSlick

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« on: October 21, 2014, 01:12:36 AM »
I couldn’t get to sleep a couple nights ago, and in the process of trying to get to sleep a chorus came to my head. In my head, I wasn’t the person singing it, but it was a mix of indie-folk, country, and soul, kind of like a more upbeat, female Bon Iver. Today I wrote out the rest of the song. I wrote it because I thought it was a good opportunity to practice writing songs that maybe other people could sing, and also I've just been trying harder to finish every song I start so that I improve more.

Do you think this song would be easy to sing for the average indie-folk/soul female voice? And also what could I do to produce a clearer message in my songwriting? Writing things that are clear, simple, and relatable can be a real challenge for me.

&feature=youtu.be

Here’s the lyrics:
We’d had the coldest summer night the town had ever known.
All the richer folk were cozy in their homes
While my family was waiting out the door
For my dad to come home.

We loved that misty night
Feeling warm and tight in our mother’s arms.

(Chorus)
Head high under telephone lines
Yeah the streets, they talk
But who seems to care what
They’re talking about?

Back in school I was a sweet kid, but alone
People lapped me socially with their high heels on.
Teachers laughing about the dumbest things
Being young enough that no one was listening.

I would have ideas the town had never known
But when I’d grown, I’d be long gone

(Chorus)

I knew I had a long way to go
I knew I'd bridges I’d learn to love to burn
I seemed to feel I wouldn’t always be alone.
Just like my mom and dad
Just like my mom and dad

(Chorus)

SolfiSlick

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« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2014, 01:14:33 AM »
Nevermind, I think the song mixes too many genres together, and the chorus came out too country. I’m having a hard time describing the genre I was going for, I’ll try again. But any feedback on the song itself is welcome.

andresl7

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« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2014, 02:26:40 AM »
Hi mate!!! How are you? I dont wanna bother u much but Is there any chance that you could upload your song into soundcloud or a similar software? Im having trouble playing that youtube vid and I would really like to listen to the song,  The lyrics sound interesting so I wanna know the feel of the song musically. Cheers!

andresl7

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« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2014, 02:42:04 AM »
Dont worry I was able to play the video. Let me tell you something: WOW!!! This song is extremely beautiful and awesome. I liked the fact that you have a very memorable chorus and you transition quite seamlessly between parts of the song using your vocal melodies instead of using chords only, which sounds pretty interesting to me honestly. The fact that the song structure is so straightforward and the fact that you have a very good tone in your voice makes it not only for a very easy song to listen to but it also opens the possibility to make many possible arrangements to that song (strings arrangements and stuff like that in virtually any style you would prefer : Pop, folk,country,etc).

Congrats, it is a very very Good song.