[fischermans]

After long time not posting any new song of mine I managed it yesterday to record two of them.
Here is the first one called Forbidden Kingdom.Not my best recording I think but I discovered I had forgotten how to do.Hope you like

https://soundcloud.com/a-fisch-1/forbidden-kingdom

Forbidden Kingdom

Verse 1
Give me your hand flying high
Give me your hand touch the sky
Give me your hand try to be free
Life is simple if you love me

Bridge
This land is forbidden
No entry for us
A wall of silence
No chance to pass

Refrain
Forbidden Kingdom
No keys for closed doors
A oneway to nowhere
And no way back for our love
And no way back for our love

Verse 2
We tried everything we could
We did everything we should
Captured in a book we shouldn’t read
Life was simple and love so sweet

Bridge
This land is forbidden
No entry for us
A wall of silence
No chance to pass

Refrain
Forbidden Kingdom
No keys for closed doors
A oneway to nowhere
And no way back for our love
And no way back for our love

Verse 3
We fought our war with harps
Sometimes we felt like sharks
There was a lot of poison around
Best to give up and find a way out

Bridge
This land is forbidden
No entry for us
A wall of silence
No chance to pass

Refrain
Forbidden Kingdom
No keys for closed doors
A oneway to nowhere
And no way back for our love
And no way back for our love
No way back
no way back
no way back
For our love

© Voice, Words and Music Alexander Fisch aka fischermans ©

Alexander

[jmacdon]

Hi Fisch

This is a definitely radio friendly - but needs a couple more twists to really elevate it.

The guitar riff is simple and does a great job in leading the entire song... but, through the verse, bridge and chorus I can hear the song building up into a crescendo to a peak.... which never arrives!!   Maybe I've got my "pop" hat on, but the listener is expecting a big bang of a chorus or bridge to really break the song and deliver a result or finale to reward the hard work that's gone into the build-up......

J.

[benjo]

 HEY FISCH

 yeah you got a lovely vocal going on here
 a real nice song and great melody
 i liked everything about this can't think of any problems
 i think it works really well enjoyed your lyrics

          well done bud

[fischermans]

@jmacdon
Thank you for your comment.I think in the band version it comes more to a final point.
@benjo
Thank you very much Mr Benjo 
Alexander

[montydog]

Hi Alexander,

Long time no hear! Lovely to have another of your wonderful songs. Some lovely chord changes here particularly going into the bridge. I've run out of ways to describe how much I love your songwriting, singing and playing. For me, it is from a different planet - totally sublime.

Simple but profound lyrics that cut straight to the bone supported by a gorgeous guitar pattern and your beautiful delivery.

If you ever record a CD, please put me down for a copy.

M

[Neil C]

Alex,
Nice to hear you again, glad you remember how to.
Great sounding guitar confidently played.
My only thought was around the fx you put on your vocal, I think I'd prefer to hear your normal voice and maybe have the effect for a specific part.
 
Neil

[fischermans]

@Alan
You definitely get the first CD if I ever will record one.
Thank you mades my day again.
@Neil C
Thank you and you are right.I made two voice recordings and put them together but may it's better for parts or the whole song too use only one of them.Sounds not perfect for me too.
Alexander

[nooms]

hello again alex
guitar sounds good and strong feeling for the words comes across in your vocal, loads of emotion.. your teutonic blues.

i was imagining a low rimshot/stik at double speed coming in underneath halfway through just to push it along..it doesnt need it but it occurred to me that it wouldnt disturb but maybe underline the tension..
whatever, beautiful melancholy

[jonpromos]

I think you have a good voice
that seems masked by the effects
But in the end, I respect your choice
'Cause the artist always knows best
The layers on the singing
seems to be a bit of a waste
I'm not into the low strings ringing
But that may be a matter of taste

Overall, this is a pretty song
I wouldn't mind it on the radio
The mixing seems a liiiiiittle bit wrong
I think the song could stand on its own
Your structure is quite textbook
And I find most intros redundant
Shorter songs don't waste a hook
But i like what you did in the conclusion

[fischermans]

@nooms
Thank you for your words.Good hint with the rimshot/stik at double speed but first dutch is working on the song so let us see what his ideas are.
@jonpromos
I changed the effect on the voice and hope it's better now.Thank you for your review.
Alexander

[James Nighthawk]

Enjoyable song here even in the simple format

The chord are lovely and I like the way it switches to a slightly unexpected chord leading into each chorus.

The vocal is clear and strong and works a charm.

The ending is sweet and nails the theme.

Great stuff!
JNx

[fischermans]

Thank you so much for your words James.

[digger72]

Hi Alexander,

Sorry it's taken so long for me to comment. For some reason I haven't been able to get it to play till now. Soundcloud doesn't like me sometimes.
Good to hear something new from you.
The guitar sounds nice and warm.
The vocal has your usual quality and style.  May be could do with a more prominent hook, but i'm not sure that's what you go for. I think you are more about mood, and as others have noted, "honesty." I like that in a song.

Good stuff.

Digger

[Dogmax]

Nice song Alex i thought maybe some finger picking style in certain parts would sound good, nice lyrics and as always great vocals, really nice song.

[stickboymusic]

Like this.

Not mad keen on the opening lyrics the high/sky free/me seems a little obvious but then it really picks up.

I do think verse one lyrics are pretty important, its when people are going to decide whether to keep listening or switch off.

Personally i'd rethink these

The rest is great