[Vintage54]

           While we count our blessings
           And decide, they dont add up to much
           And curse lady luck for not smiling
           Or staying in touch
           Jorge rodriguez, braves the waters
           Of the cruel Rio Grande
           Spare a thought for Rodriguez
           And go count your blessings again

           Solomon, picks through the bones
           Of his skeletal land
           His crops are so thirsty
           They crumble to dust in his hand
           For months he's been waiting
           But still, theres no sign of rain
           Try to feel his despair
           And go count your blessings again

           Delgado, was never afraid
           Of speaking his mind
           He was dragged from his bed in the night
           And his voice was confined
           He can hear his tormentors laugh
           Through his darkness and pain
           Say a prayer for delgado
           And go count your blessings again.

[Arkwright]

On my first reading of the lyrics I thought they would only have meaning if I had knowledge of the people you talk about. However, as I reread them, the second and third verse in particular could be telling the story of thousands of individuals across the world.

In a few short verses you've touched on some very emotive issues and the imagery is just great.

I'm a sucker for songs with meaning and in particular songs with social commentary.

Good work Vintage...

[Vintage54]

     
         The Ark!
            Greetings bud. Yea you read it right. The first four lines is us, the people of this country, complaining about our lot, and God knows we have plenty to complain about at times. But all in all, we're pretty lucky compared to some. I tried to contrast this with some other people around the world who aint so lucky. The next four lines is the poor mexican, wading across the river, for hopefully a better life in the United states. Verse two is all the poor farmers, trying to scrape a living in a climate that is unforgiving. Hate it when people moan about the rain over here, rain is a giver. Third verse is all the political prisoners, who dont have our freedom of speech. Glad you liked it bud, and thanks for the kind words. PS whats next on the bucket list?

[Paulski]

I really like this - nice flow and repeating of the theme.
I like how each verse is like another chapter in the story.
Wasn't sure how to pronounce "Jorge" but presumabley the singer will.
Maybe should call it "Count your blessings".
May be a bit short - but opportunities for a musical interlude/solo in there.

I've been to places where they can't afford to eat - then return to hear people complaining that their air conditioning is broken...

Poignant writing!
Paul

[Vintage54]

         Thanks Paul,
             Youre right, it is a little on the short side. I didnt mean it to come out that way, i tried adding another verse or two, but nothing turned out right. Then i said to myself, " just leave it, dont force it, youve got your point across, however brief "

[Paulski]

Yeah - don't want filler!
And short can be good - gives the arranger room to manoeuver.

[Arkwright]

I have a trip planned round the cost of Britain on my triumph Bonneville early next year, but in the meantime, I'm going to start on writing a novel to keep the creative juices flowing. 😀

[Gallowglass]

It's totally up to you of course, but one thing I think would work really well with this is a guitar track underneath the sang (or rapped?) lyrics, like Eminem's Beautiful (it samples Paul Rodger's Reaching Out).

[Kevin j]

this is a great write, very emotive the verses are very well structured, i like how the opening verse sets the other two up, my only thing would be it might need another verse just to wrap up the story a little
I know you said none would come out right, but leave it for a couple of weeks and go back to it, it might flow out then
hope this helps