[lors]

Hi guys,

This is a bluesy instrumental song that I wrote a couple of years ago. I was just hanging out with my wife and brother in law while noodling on the guitar when I came up with the main intro riff. I kept adding parts to it until I had the whole structure.

I've been changing the melody and this is the latest version.

I'm hoping to hear some constructive criticism for this song. What sounds good/bad? Are there any parts that sound "off?" Overall, what kind of feeling do you get when you listen?

Anyway, here's the song:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11146653

Thanks and regards,

lors

[tokenangmoh]

Hi lors, and welcome to the forum!

I'll have a listen to this later, but first, could I ask you to take a look at the sticky posts explaining the forum rules? There's a posting limit of one track per fortnight on the review forums. This limit ensures everyone's tracks get a fair hearing before being pushed down the page...

And of course it's important to review other people's tracks as well, so get stuck in with your comments!

Catch you later,

Matt

[lors]

Oh sorry! My bad! You can delete the other 2. I'll just repost them next time.

[tokenangmoh]

OK I've had a listen.

I like the feel of this, and the two guitars interact well. It's got a cool structure with climaxes, builds and drops, and it could easily be made to take lyrics if you're interested in developing it that way. I get a growing sense of urgency and excitement as the piece goes on, and though I'm not sure exactly what emotion you want to convey, it comes across as passionate. Lyrics could add specificity there...

I think the chorus-y sounding bit that starts around 1.50 and builds into the shredding was my favourite part, and the track stays engaging to the end.

I've got two quibbles. The bass part feels a bit thudding to me, with a tone that almost sounds like a lead guitar plus an octaver pedal rather than an actual bass - though the bass part clearly still does its job of anchoring the piece. And is it me or are the instruments slightly out of time with each other near the start?

There's a nice vibe to this, though, so well done.

Matt

[lors]

Thanks for your kind words!

I'll check the timing. Admittedly that's a major issue of mine. I'll also fix the bass mix. My monitor speakers broke and I'm having issues with balance. So thanks for pointing that out.

I don't put lyrics cause I don't sing. I don't have much confidence in my voice.

Emotion wise, well it started out as kind of a song you want to listen to at the end of a long day. Or on a lazy afternoon. But then I started adding that shreddy part and the outro and the song kinda took another turn to rockville haha

[DoubleD]

I liked it, some nice guitar patterns in there.  It reminded me somewhat of yellow ledbetter in parts, which can only be a good thing!  There was one part, from 38 second mark to around 48 second mark where I felt the distorted guitar didn't fit with what was going on in the background, it sounded like "off" to me.  You might want to look at that part again.  

[lors]

Thanks DoubleD! I'll get on it and see what I can do.

[Jamie]

Hi nice guitar playing, reminded a lot of Lenny kravitz, just needs his vocal over it . Get some lyrics and a singer and you've got a song!
Cheers
Jamie

[Alan Starkie]

Massive Jimi Hendrix influence for me.

I really liked it!

It's been said but yeah - get some lyrics :-)

[lors]

Hi all,

Thanks to everybody who made suggestions! I've tried to incorporate them in the latest version.

I'd love for you to check it out. I want to know if it's ready to put into that "Finished" category. Though, when are we ever "finished" with our songs, eh?

Thanks again!

regards,

lors

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11146653