[Paulski]

Hi guys
I think this is going to be a bluegrass song.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Paul


You've Been Down That Road Before
Copyright © 2014 Tennyson Road Music

A friend of mine asked my advice
Met a girl on line - she seemed real nice
She said "Send me cash and I'll book a flight
We'll have a blast this Friday night!"

Well he looked at me, and I looked at him
'Thought I'd agree, but I said "now Jim..
You've been around so I'm pretty sure
That you've been down that road before"

{ch}
You've been down that road before
Got the T-Shirt when you took the tour
Sometimes a sign should be ignored
When you've been down that road before

Against my advice, he sent the dough
Surprise, surprise - she never showed
And now he's cryin' but he should have known
That girl had lied and now she's gone, gone, gone

You've been down that road before
You bought the T-Shirt, in that crumby store
Some traffic signs should be ignored
When you've been down that road before

Solo

Now, you and I, we took that ride
You packed for "ever", but I travel light
Now I come to town, but you bolt the door
Cause you've been down that road before

You've been down that road before
You bought that T-shirt that I never wore
Now I'm a guy that you ignore
'Cause you've been down that road before

{br}
We choose the road we think is best
But we use a broken GPS
See our mistake, so we turn around
But it's too late - our love is gone, gone, gone
Gone, gone, gone!

You've been down that road before
Got the b-bumper sticker for your f-fancy Ford!
You're still the one that I adore...
But you've been down that road before!

[Paulski]

Did some updates..

[tokenangmoh]

Hi Paul.

I looked at this earlier but didn't have time to comment.

I like this. Clear storytelling as ever, and I love how it changes from being about "him" to being about "you". It's very well handled, and that 4th verse is a cracker: it's entirely constructed of metaphors but each one sells immediately. I envy you that.

You made some changes and one I noticed, the change from "bash" to "blast", is a good one.

I have so few and minor nits for this.

I'd prefer "Now I come to town, and you bolt the door" - it fits the emotional logic better for me.

Got the coloured sticker for your trusty guitar

I think this is my least favourite line in the song - I much prefer its equivalents in the other choruses. (By the way, I love choruses that have slight differences each time!) How about something like "Got the scars - they still get sore"? Or "You oughta know what lies in store"? ...You're being loose with the metre in that line, so I'm not sure my suggestions will fit...

And that's it: precisely two nits.

Great job, now get a-pickin' and a-grinnin' on the banjo.

Matt

[Paulski]

Hi Matt

Thanks - that was really helpful.

I'd prefer "Now I come to town, and you bolt the door" - it fits the emotional logic better for me.

I agree - and it now doesn't repeat the "but" in the previous line

Got the coloured sticker for your trusty guitar

I think this is my least favourite line in the song - I much prefer its equivalents in the other choruses. (By the way, I love choruses that have slight differences each time!) How about something like "Got the scars - they still get sore"? Or "You oughta know what lies in store"? ...You're being loose with the metre in that line, so I'm not sure my suggestions will fit...

Good spot - yeah that came from a prev version entitled "I've Been Down That Road Before" and it was kind of shouted rather than sung. But it doesn't fit anymore. So I changed it to:

"Where there's a cloud, there'll be a storm"

...to tie in with the bridge (might still say it rather than sing it) - hopefully that's better!

Thanks again Matt!
Paul

[Paulski]

Where there's a cloud, there'll be a storm

or I suppose "Your broken heart - it still gets sore" would work too..

[tokenangmoh]

Yup, either of those would work for me.

[Sing4me88]

What a belting number. I love the whole idea behind this- very Catfish and bang up to date as well! The changing chorus lines of been on tour, dusty tour and a bumpy sticker for the Ford re great-add a little oomph to the chorus and keep it fresh. I have to say these lyrics are superb and actually they have me wanting to slap the guy in the face for his stupidity- I feel your anger at your friend! I like the bridge- its a bit heavy and serious and philosophical which contrasts nicely with the rest of the lyric.

[Nellie]

Hii Paulski! I really enjoyed reading this! I like how it has this humorous and catfish vibe, makes it interesting to read. You told the story quite nicely and it's a really wonderful, cleverly written piece. I find it great how the ending is predictable but you made it original and your own. Great job!! I really liked this line
''You've been down that road before
Got the T-Shirt, Took the tour'', makes me think of all the merchandise on concerts

[JakePage]

Hey Paulski,

Nice lyrics, as has been said very clear storytelling and the whole vibe/atmosphere is very transparent, it really flows well! sorry I couldn't have said more it seems id just be repeating whats already been said...

Jake

[Paulski]

Sing4me88:

Yeah, this guy wouldn't listen to my advice  Thanks for the positive feedback means a lot.

Nellie:

Thanks for the nice comments. Everybody remembers getting a T shirt somewhere!

JakePage:

Thanks for the read Jake - glad to hear it flows well.

[Gwyneth Rose]

Hi guys
I think this is going to be a bluegrass song.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
Paul


You've Been Down That Road Before
Copyright © 2014 Tennyson Road Music

A friend of mine asked my advice
Met a girl on line - she seemed real nice
She said "Send cash and I'll book a flight
We'll have a blast this Friday night!"

Well he looked at me, and I looked at him
'Thought I'd agree, but I said "now Jim..
You've been around so I'm pretty sure
That you've been down that road before"

{ch}
You've been down that road before
Got the T-Shirt, Took the tour
Some traffic signs should be ignored
When you've been down that road before

Despite my advice, he sent the dough
Surprise, surprise - she never showed
And now he's cryin' but I told him so
He should have never turned down that road

You've been down that road before
Got the crumby T-Shirt, on that dusty tour
Some detour signs should be ignored
When you've been down that road before

Solo

Well you and I, went for a ride
You packed for "ever", but I traveled light
Now I come to town, and you bolt the door
Cause you've been down that road before

You've been down that road before
Got the bumper sticker for your trusty Ford
Them detour signs should be ignored
When you've been down that road before

{br}
Life can be like a country road
And you'll arrive at another fork
The sun will shine or the rain will pour
Depending on which way you turn

You've been down that road before
A broken heart that's what's in store
You'll see the sign - but please ignore!
If you've been down that road before!

Hi Paul

Great set of lyrics as usual. You are so talented my friend. Very cleverly crafted. Enjoyed the read.

Hugs
G

[Paulski]

Hi Paul

Great set of lyrics as usual. You are so talented my friend. Very cleverly crafted. Enjoyed the read.

Hugs
G

Thank you so much for the kind comments Gwyneth - I think you're pretty talented too so means a lot.

[Erik Baker]

I like the fact that it explores a theme many writers don't address with songs. You've managed to create clear story telling with metaphors and you actually made choruses with slight variances. I like how you are able to put this together with wording that is casual and yet I feel it is well planned. I can see the speaker in this writing and I can see that you are a strong inividual. I like the use of the cliche "been down the road". I can't relate to the song and yet I feel the theme because of the help you get in using an individual voice. This song is incredible, believable, and, not to be redundant but I most say, GREAT!

[Paulski]

I like the fact that it explores a theme many writers don't address with songs. You've managed to create clear story telling with metaphors and you actually made choruses with slight variances. I like how you are able to put this together with wording that is casual and yet I feel it is well planned. I can see the speaker in this writing and I can see that you are a strong inividual. I like the use of the cliche "been down the road". I can't relate to the song and yet I feel the theme because of the help you get in using an individual voice. This song is incredible, believable, and, not to be redundant but I most say, GREAT!

Thanks Erik - your kind remarks mean a lot!
cheers
Paul

[benjo]

 hey paul

 so sorry for late reply just got back from a hol

 yeah again you produce a real believable tale
 this is real life in so many i loved the verses
 but something i can't put my finger on didn't quite flow or feel
 right with the chorus,  it could be the some traffic signs should be ignored
 
 see for me i would say read all the signs / don't ignore the signs

 hope you know what i mean paul
 but knowing you when i hear you sing this i'll feel differently

 a very good tale though really enjoyed this

                          tony...