[benjo]

 HEY GUYS,

 a little step back in time,   hope some of you can relate to this lyric


                              THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEED BACK AND ADVICE


   

   FOR A LUMP OF COAL
     ------ = = = ------ 


 in this old town
 with the smoky tops
 nestled in the hills
 and the beauty spots

 the whistle calls
 for another shift
 keep fires burning
 and the Furness lit
 
 on the cobbled roads
 heavy hobnail boots
 stale stout n woodbines
 and the rolled up news

 picks and shovels
 and a tiny light
 there is no reward
 for a miners life
 and down they go
 into the big black hole
 sweat blood n tears
 for a lump of coal

 sweat blood n tears
 for a lump of coal

 hard filthy faces
 under old frayed caps
 wash away there toil
 under freezing taps

 when the weekend comes
 fish n chips for tea
 chance to place a bet
 on his favourite team

 oh to see the sunlight
 blue skies and birds
 to breath fresh air deep
 and be lost for words

 picks and shovels
 and a tiny light
 there is no reward
 for a miners life
 and down they go
 into the big black hole
 sweat blood n tears
 for a lump of coal

 sweat blood n tears
 for a lump of coal

 
 
 
 © copyright house all rights reserved
 
 
   




 

[hardtwistmusic]

Reminds me a little of "Sixteen Tons."   Very nicely written.  Captures the plight of the miners, while leaving them respectable instead of creating pity.  That's hard to do.

[Paulski]

Another good 'un Tony. I esp liked the chorus.
A few minor suggestions - keep or sweep:

and down they go
 into the deep black hole
 sweatin' blood n tears
 for a lump of coal

Furnace is mis-spelled - oops that's a UK thing!

Keep 'em coming - quality stuff!
Paul

[PeeJay]

This is another good one Tony.

It's like a Lowry painting come to life.

We know all about coal mines in my neck of the woods. Or at least we used to.

You'd need to work overtime to afford fish and chips these days!

Nice one,

Phil.

[JonnyD]

Thanks now I'm hungry :s

You've set the scene really nicely with lots of multisensory information

Can't wait to hear it

[benjo]

 hey thanks guys

 HARDTWISTMUSIC,     thank you for your kind words, glad you like this one


 PAULSKI,                    nice words thank you so much I will look into your suggestion thanks


 PEEJAY,                       so true times have really changed thanks for your feed back


 R / SNOWMAN,            i'll buy you a bag of chips ha ha ha thanks for kind words
 

[GTB]

Hi Benjo, this reminded me of Lowry too, right from the off.  It's a good portrait you've painted.  The only bit that felt a bit of a mouthful was 'hard filthy faces' - personally I would prefer full out for the alliteration if possible or just say 'hard black faces'. 
GTB

[benjo]

 so many lovely comments here, thank you guys so much
 I really enjoyed writing this lyric, glad you all enjoyed it


 HARDTWISTMUSIC, PAULSKI, PEEJAY, ROCKINGSNOWMAN, GTB,


       thank you for taking the time to give your feed back

     tony...

[BooBoo]

I really like this, especially the last two lines in the chorus. Leaves a big impact!

[benjo]

 hey booboo thank you so much

 really glad you enjoyed it

               

[Gwyneth Rose]

 Hi Benjo
You really are so brilliant at capturing the essence of strong imagery. You had me there with the blood, sweat; and tears for a lump of coal, mining down the filthy black hole.  What a hard life!! Yearning for the fresh air, sunlight to see the birds...oh really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing. 

Cheers
G

[Stevey Pea]

Yes this bought back memories, may I say that adding canaries, cages, conveyor belts and rages (not amoungst the minors though) may add a little more taste to very tasteful lyric.

[benjo]

 BIG THANK YOU FOR THOSE LOVELY COMMENTS GUYS


 GWYNETH ROSE,  so kind of you and you made my day

 STEVEY PEA,        some great sugs there my friend maybe for the next lyric eh



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