[Gwyneth Rose]

 

I wrote this Anti Bullying Protest Song from a completely different angle to what's out there
e.g. Morgan Fraser with her Hey Bully!

Looking for a collaborator to put music and make it into a completed song, so everyone around that fancies a stab at this, please let me know 

Verse 1
She was just a little girl
A very tiny one at that
In clothes worn and tattered
With socks that didn’t match
She was quiet and shy
Lonely and withdrawn
Her mother always sick
Her daddy was long gone

Verse II
A target for bullies
With nowhere to turn
Another child condemned
One more hard lesson learned
See the wolf-pack, see how they run
Howls of laughter she was their fun
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Shamed and afraid she wanted to die

Chorus/Chant
Hey hey bully you think you’re strong
Hey hey bully you know you’re wrong
Hey hey bully you’re not so tough
Bullies are just cowards covering up

Hey hey bully you’ll end up losing
By pushing shoving hurting and abusing
Hey hey bully no matter what you think
Everyone knows you’re the weakest link

Verse III

What started on the play-ground
Treated only as a passing phase
Grew a bully into a criminal
One of society’s castaways
It was many years later
When things finally came around
The leader of the big bullies
Was finally taken down

Bridge
The more a bully bullies
The easier it is for them you see
The one thing that will stop them
Can only be done by you and me

Repeat Chorus/Chant

Pause for a sec or two ……

The one who finally caught him
Was trained by law to catch
Was once a quiet little girl
With socks that didn’t match

Chorus out



All rights reserved: Gwyneth Rose

[Gallowglass]

I don't usually like anti-bullying songs (that sounds so...wrong) because they're usually full of pretty but ultimately meaningless sentiments and moralistic inertia. As a bullying victim myself, I wouldn't want to listen to something that reminds me of the way 99.9% of people reacted when they found out, so I'm pleased to say this song wasn't like that  At all.

In fact it was very good. I got a real sense of character from it and she wasn't at all a stock character like most anti-bullying songs populate themselves with. Her backstory has elements that everyone can relate to at least one of, and as everyone's been bullied by someone at some point it has an appeal far beyond what should be expected of a song of this type. I'm pleased it didn't descend into '80s school bully cliches like heads in toilets and all that malarkey, or repeat tired and totally-not-helpful mantras like 'just ignore them' or 'tell a teacher,' instead providing a perfectly realistic fantasy that someone can cling on to in rough times without saying that that will happen.

A lot of 'they'll work for you one day' lines mean well, but it's entirely possible that bullies can rise above their tormentors, too, and even be really successful. I'm glad this song doesn't teach kids that they'll do better than their bullies because if they grow up to find that isn't true, well...Disinclination Station, right there. To put it simply, this song's a lot more responsible than most anti-bullying songs out there, because it's genuine focus is on the victim, rather than the writer's need to feel good about themselves by writing an anti-bullying song.

I haven't done this review in my usual style, by the way, because that's more useful for analysing and scraping the most out of individual lines. The lines in this were accessibly simple and as such didn't need that sort of thing 

[Peppermint]

Some fantastic verses in this managed to get a rhythm for it pretty much straight away.
And some parts flow really well although there would be a few things i would change in it.

Firstly i would lose the last 2 lines in the 1st verse.

She was just a little girl
A very tiny one at that
In clothes worn and tattered
With socks that didn't match
She was quiet and shy
Lonely and withdrawn

As for verse two i liked the first 4 lines of it but not the rest seemed to loose its flow by then to me. Although It could just be the little tune i had in my head for it that made the rest feel out of place.  

A target for bullies
With nowhere to turn
Another child condemned
One more hard lesson learned

As for the chorus i would loose the second "hey" but apart from that i thought the first bit of the chorus was great. But wasn't to keen on the second half of it.

Hey bully, you think you’re strong
Hey bully, you know you’re wrong
Hey bully, you’re not so tough
Bullies are just cowards covering up.

Apart from that i really liked this well done Gwyneth Rose

[EattheChildren]

I really like this. It doesn't seem like most other bullying songs that focus on the victim. This song brings up a victim, then puts it aside and presents a warning to bullies. It's unique, and I like that. I think the song length and rhythm is fine as it is, and I'd love to hear the final product. If you need someone to write the drum beat, I'd be happy to oblige.

[Gwyneth Rose]

Hi GG
Thanks for the great review
Glad it appealed to you. Yes, It's
a bit pointless writing about the
usual victim's emotion, which is
what's been delivered out there.
It serves no purpose, except for
making the victim feel worse about
the situation.
Appreciate the look-in.

[Gwyneth Rose]

Hi Peppermint
Thanks for the look in and the suggs. Well I'm not suprised you had a bit of difficulty with the melody flow. I have actually had 2 musos attempt this lyric and both have fantastic music (one is 12 bar blues) but it does'nt suit the lyric at all. Too laid back and not enough "Listen here Bully - beware" LOL So basically I'm hoping that 3rd time lucky LOL.
It must be the tune you had in your head at the time... If you're interested PM me your email address and I'll send you the MP3, and you can see who everything fits very nicely into the flow.

Cheers
G

[Gwyneth Rose]

Thanks so much, lets see if we can find a guitarist first, then definately 

Actually, on another topic, have you had a look at "My Dragon" in the complete songs section? Is there anyway at all you could re-record Ian's melody and record your drums over it? I think it coud be really jazzed up with your input, as it needs some decent drums in the melody. I could send you the MP3 if you're interested? Although I'd understand if you arn't It's folk and very personal about my dog, so no worries if it's not up your alley LOL
But just in case, If so send me your email addy via PM.

Cheers
G

I really like this. It doesn't seem like most other bullying songs that focus on the victim. This song brings up a victim, then puts it aside and presents a warning to bullies. It's unique, and I like that. I think the song length and rhythm is fine as it is, and I'd love to hear the final product. If you need someone to write the drum beat, I'd be happy to oblige.

[laurabh]

Love this. Such a powerful message, and meaningful, but not written too seriously. The chorus is incredibly catchy too!

[Gwyneth Rose]

Love this. Such a powerful message, and meaningful, but not written too seriously. The chorus is incredibly catchy too!

Thanks for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed!!!

[Jess]

I can only really echo the praise you've already been given: imagery is great, the message is powerful and the twist is empowering for victims of bullying.
But (I know everyone dreads a 'but' ) for me it was too black and white- it wasn't cryptic enough. I think in songs about bullying the word 'bully' should never be used because it ruins the ability to be commercial (unless it ran alongside an anti bullying campaign). I think 'Mean' by Taylor Swift is a really great example; it discusses all the feelings around bullying without ever stating she was bullied.
I still really liked the lyrics

[Gwyneth Rose]

I can only really echo the praise you've already been given: imagery is great, the message is powerful and the twist is empowering for victims of bullying.
But (I know everyone dreads a 'but' ) for me it was too black and white- it wasn't cryptic enough. I think in songs about bullying the word 'bully' should never be used because it ruins the ability to be commercial (unless it ran alongside an anti bullying campaign). I think 'Mean' by Taylor Swift is a really great example; it discusses all the feelings around bullying without ever stating she was bullied.
I still really liked the lyrics

Hi Jess,

Thanks so much and glad you liked. Yes I composed this with the thought in mind to be used in a anti bullying protest campaign. There was a publisher looking for an orginal anti bullying song recently about a month ago, but I unfortunately missed the deadline because my muso got the dates mixed up and after that he shelved it, so nothings been done since. As mentioned I had 2 attempts on musos puttings melody to it but they wern't suitable for it. Thanks again for the look in and kind comments.

Cheers
G

[Dutchbeat]

Great lyrics
and i also like how it ends, because in reality 
bullies, the real bullies, don't get very far (and they even know that)

[Gwyneth Rose]

Great lyrics
and i also like how it ends, because in reality 
bullies, the real bullies, don't get very far (and they even know that)

  appreciate the great review thanks Dutchman.

[Paulski]

I think these are really good. I agree only one "Hey" would be better but depends on the music.
Loved the closing of the loop with the last verse. Thought it could read slightly better as below:

The cop who finally caught him
Coincidentally dispatched
Was once a quiet little girl
With socks that didn’t match

stash or trash!
Best
Paul

[Gwyneth Rose]

Hi Paul, appreciate the great review and offer of suggs. That's  a pretty good sugg,but, on this one, I'm sticking to my guns with the original, I really like the "Was trained by law to catch" line, no offence.   LOL

Cheers
G
Just a thought here Paul and Peppermint,
Is there anyway I could load a MP3 here? Or do I need to upload through
Soundcloud for you guys to hear the flow and also to see that the Hey Hey
really works.
Problem is although his music is fantastic, his voice really (don't want to hurt
anyones feelings but)sucks and it's done in 12 Bar blues, very very slow and
I personally feel it doesn't suit my lyric.