[Bernd]

once full of gloss
you were the highschool star
breaking teenage hearts
now you're no loss

I 'google' expressions when I'm not sure if you could use them like I intend to. Can a person or a life be "full of gloss"? I'm aware that, even if the phrase would be acceptable, 'gloss' has a negative connotation. I put it in because of the rhyme, of course. The chorus I'm having in mind continues:

once the big boss
now wretched and pitiful,
old, and laughable
you are no loss

I'm writing about old age and dying, as you may have guessed. It's not going to be a nice song...

Bernd

[tokenangmoh]

Hi.

No, I'm afraid that doesn't mean anything in English. And I can't really imagine "gloss" being a useful rhyme for the kind of song you want to write...

Matt

[Bernd]

Thank you, Matt. I was afraid so - always a bad sign if nobody uses a phrase but me ;-)

once full of hope
...
now you can't cope

should do the trick.

Bernd

[diademgrove]

Hi Bernd,

I agree with Matt, we usually use the word gloss for paint or lipstick. Its a pity to lose the next three lines as I think they are really good. You just need to find a word that you can use that rhymes with loss. I'm busy for the next few days. If I come up with anything I'll put it on here.

diadem