[savethegreysquirrels]

Hey guys,

Im just trying out some lyric writing its not a finished but some feedback would be great.

The Person Within

Verse1

Is it you, is it really you?
Are you the person you appear to be?
The green in your eyes makes them glisten with rage
A plan of action in place to lock your fiends in a cage

Bridge

But do you question your own state of mind?
How you hurt and try to detroy anyone in sight
Are you just living a lie ?
Do you accept that you were never the nice guy?

Chorus

The true nature of love cannot be given a life
You awake into the never ending dream
The blame artist who lives in constant strife.
Cannot relate to the true person within.

[hardtwistmusic]

This is just an impression, and it may not be right, and I might not even agree with it myself tomorrow. 

But what flickered past my brain as I read this is that you've explained too much and left us too little to figure out (or make up) ourselves. 

I think you need to be more vague.  Sounds strange, but that is what crossed my mind.