[Jane99]

this song is nearly finished, there's only missing one verse i think but i don't have any idea for that so i wanted to hear what you think about the piece i already got and maybe you have some suggestions for that missing part;)

two words. the end
we all knew it would happen
but to see you leaving now
it's like everything falls apart
two words: the end

I know you're living your dream
6 strings on your back
driving to L.A.
just iving your dream

two words: the end
for you it's the start of something new
for us it's the hardest goodbye
oho two words: the end

I know you're living your dream
6 strings on your back
driving to L.A.
just iving your dream

(here's a part missing)

oho 6 strings on your back
driving to L.A.
oho
the end

[S.T.C]

Yes its fine really...i can see what you are aiming at...it ,i think the part you cant think of yet would be a middle 8/bridge type verse.

[hardtwistmusic]

Yes its fine really...i can see what you are aiming at...it ,i think the part you cant think of yet would be a middle 8/bridge type verse.

Or just an instrumental bridge.  I'm not sure you need to SAY a lot more with the lyric.

[jmacdon]

Hi Jane

Obviously this song tells  a story, but it seems to be a half story.   Yeah, we know he's gone LA with his guitar, but then what?  He left you behind (and your kid maybe) but then what happens?   This could be a soap opera, so give us the lyrics to extend the story....... cos we're hooked!

[nrand]

this song is nearly finished, there's only missing one verse i think but i don't have any idea for that so i wanted to hear what you think about the piece i already got and maybe you have some suggestions for that missing part;)

two words. the end
we all knew it would happen
but to see you leaving now
it's like everything falls apart
two words: the end

I know you're living your dream
6 strings on your back
driving to L.A.
just iving your dream

two words: the end
for you it's the start of something new
for us it's the hardest goodbye
oho two words: the end

I know you're living your dream
6 strings on your back
driving to L.A.
just iving your dream

(here's a part missing)

oho 6 strings on your back
driving to L.A.
oho
the end

This lyric holds some interest already, but to answer your question specifically, one lyric technique you could include for that missing middle 8 [which could also be a chorus], would be to take the listener into the past tense and tell us the reasons why he's heading to LA and/or spin us into the future with some specifics about his dreams for the future.  To me a song that moves through time in some way works as a story. Stories are not fixed in any one moment yes? The details and the movement are up to your imagination, which seems to me to be just fine.
Merry Christmas! and thanks for sharing.

[Random Stranger]

What is missing for me is the reason he is going off, 6 strings on his back, and she's not going with him. Why does him pursuing his dream mean they have to say goodbye? Is she doing something that prevents her going? Will she perhaps join him later when that is finished? Or is she devoted to what she is doing and has chosen to stay and say goodbye forever?

There are so many possible stories here, some indication of the one behind his leaving would be good. The lyric says You are going, WE are staying - who is we? Those answers don't have to be long, they could fit into a bridge if they're concise, but I think the explanation really is needed.