[TFerg]

Hi folks,
 I've stumbled on this forum and I'm excited to get going!  I've been writing songs for over two years now but I haven't really had much oppurtunity to record.

 But I have recorded a rough demo of a song called "Time's On My Side".

 The lyrics are a mix between complete nonsense. And characterising "Time" and "Desire", and their relationship with Jenny... Whose got a new job... Nonsense basically. But I've always been more of a guitarist anyways...

 I like the sixties. So there's plenty of reverb and a touch of modulation on the vocals.

 https://soundcloud.com/drowzeehowl/04-times-on-my-side

 Lyrics

 VERSE
 Your mind's on fire,
 In a sharp barbed wire,
 As Time limps by,
 In his girl three wheeler,
 What a deal, he
 want's to steal her from,
 Her, crazy crazy ex- boyfriend,
 Her boyfriend, her boyfriend,
 Her boyfriend.


 BRIDGE
 Jenny's got a job,
 She doesn't look so good,   x2
 Inside

 Jenny's got a job,
 She doesn't look so good,   x2
 Inside,
 Good inside,

 CHORUS
 She's on fire                     x4

 VERSE
 Her ex boyfriend,
 See's Time's with,
 His ex girlfriend,
 And turns into Desire,
 And takes some roses,
 Some flowers that show his,
 Lust for, His lust for life,
 His endless search for a wife,
 Any time, Anywhere, Any time

 BRIDGE

 CHORUS
 
 

 

[hardtwistmusic]

Very original even though it's "retro" sounding.  I thought the music had too many "sharp edges" to it..... could have communicated the same thing with some softer edges.  Meaning a bit more bass and less jarring guitar work for a smoother, softer sound. 

The chorus needs those sharp edges from the instrumental (imo) but the verses do not. 

As a newcomer to the forum, I wish to tell you "welcome" and invite you to participate in the November Lyric of the Month competition. 

To participate (by voting) Find my post regarding the November Lyric of the Month (there is a post in each category about that) and read the nominated lyrics, and send me a private message (ask here if you're not sure how to do that) that tells me which nominated lyric you think is best.

Participation is a good way to begin your stay here, and is a key to getting maximum value from this forum.  This is (imo) the best song forum on the internet btw.

[TFerg]

Cheers for the advice. To be honest I just play what easiest most of the time. But yeah cheers.

I'll check out the November contest now.