[jtgautreau]

I starting recording my next EP which will be all in english. 5 songs (maybe a bonus song) for a total of 6 songs. Every two weeks (sticking to forum rules) I'll update this thread with a new song. I'm recording everything but drums and some keys which a producer friend is programing and recording.

I already have an EP out in spanish for the latin market which you can listen on my Reverb Nation website

reverbnation com/jtgautreau

This mp3s I'm gonna be sharing with you, will be the scratch tracks I'm recording for the producer so he has an idea of what I want  drumming wise, so the drums you'll hear are all scratch tracks as guidance for him. Also the guitars and vocals are scratch, but I like to keep scratch track as close as possible to the end result. When I re record everything I'll add other instruments as well as more harmonies/vocal parts, and better selection of mics for the appropriate instrument/intent, etc.

I'm all ears (or eyes  ) to your suggestions, so keep em coming!

The first song is titled LITTLE LADY. here's the link where you can hear it and the lyrics

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=12541330&q=hi

Little Lady:

Little woman little lady where are you tonight
your smell and your scent are scattered in me
I'm left here without no words, no thoughts on
you anymore, don't know what to do….

Little woman little lady please don't bring me down
In the streets where we met, the streets ain't the same
steps marked up in the snow, and the cigarette's
all burnt up, you're my little lady.

Little lady
Please come back to me
Little lady
In a senseless dream
  
Little woman little lady walking right by me
I see your silhouette, I don't want to pretend
Meaningful shadows playing, twisted games in
my head, I think I am going insane

Little woman little lady, come land me a hand
you know it's all your fault you did this to me
you premeditated it all, then covered your tracks
alone but you're my little lady

I don't know if you're real anymore
The window's open and the air is cold
Very cold
Chilly cold

[jmacdon]

Lovely catchy guitar playing here - a great Latin pop song.   I love it, but i'm not so happy with the chorus - I like it, but it's pop potential is limited as it doesn't have a real hook.   I'm imagining Enrique Iglesias singing this song - now the verses are spot on - but would he sing this chorus?  No.  It must be more catchy, maybe a more defined key change and anthemic sound?

PS - I never realised what a scratch track was!  I just thought people called them demo's!  This is an education.

[Jamie]

Hi, like the acoustic guitar licks. The verse is stronger than the chorus. The chorus melody probably needs more work to differentiate it from the verse. The drums around 2.55 sound out of place to me, and not quite right. Also it's too long at 5 mins, it gets overly repetitive near the end. (IMHO)
Cheers
Jamie

[RyanHalsey]

Overall i really like the guitar part, its a got a great swing to it that grooves! I see what jmac is saying about the chorus, maybe some more instrumentation would bring it out more. To me the drums conflict against the feel of the guitar making it sound a bit rigid. Definately a track i would get great enjoyment out of playing on.

Ryan

[jtgautreau]

thank you guys appreciate the feedback.

well the difference between a scratch track and a demo track is that usually the demo sound closet to the finished product. Maybe the instruments need to be recorded again but the song itself is done (at least as far as I know)

a scratch track is recorded as guidance. For example, if you're going to record drums you make scratch tracks of the guitar and vocals so the drummer get a feel and an idea while laying his takes.

In this particular song I recorded basic scratch tracks of guitars, vocals, and (poorly) programmed some drums for my drum guy to get an idea of what I hear in my head for the rhythm section.

So you guys feel the chorus needs to be stronger? but in which sense? more instruments to make it sound bigger? or is it a melody thing with the vocals?  what would you advice?

btw, I was really not trying to aim for the latin song vibe

[beckylucythomas]

Don't know how to make the link work - I'm on ipad so clicked the mobile version option, but that took me to a list of songs and i couldn't see yours amongst them!

But anyway, as I'm here I'll comment on the lyrics 

I wouldn't normally make a comment on spelling as it doesn't normally make a difference to how the words sound, but i guess as English isn't your first language it might help as you're writing for an ep so you might be going to be printing them in sleeve notes or something..... So i hope you don't mind!... Anyway... "In the streets were we met " should be "where" and "come land me a hand" should be "lend", and "chili cold" should be "chilly".

On a grammar point, in English you wouldn't say "without no words, no thoughts" - you'd say either "with no words, no thoughts" or "with no words or thoughts" or "without words or thoughts" or "without any words or thoughts" or "without words, without thoughts"..... Basically we don't normally use double negatives (though there are a few exceptions e.g. where we're using a slang phrase where the double negative is intentional (e.g. "ain't no").....)

There are also a couple of bits where I'm not sure exactly what you mean.... "The streets ain't the same steps marked up in the snow, all the cigarette burnt light up"..... I don't think that bit quite makes sense......?? I would've suggested alternatives but i don't really know what it's meant to say..... Also "walking pass by me" doesn't read right and i don't quite know what it's meant to say.....maybe "walking right past me" / "walking right by me" / "walking, you pass me by"......?

I hope that is helpful.....

On the lyrics themselves, i think they're great, very atmospheric, a bit melancholy. Very good indeed! Got to say, I'd change the "little lady" hook.......... If someone called me that I'd probably find it a bit patronising......! The rest of the lyrics have a great feel, but the little lady thing is a bit off-putting!

[jtgautreau]

Thank very much for the pointers. You are correct english is not my mother tongue. Usually I don't have problems with it but those things flyby I guess!  

The part with the "The streets ain't the same steps marked up in the snow, all the cigarette burnt light up"

I mean the steps are marked (drawn?) in the snow. Like foot steps.

Also you made me think about it twice and you are correct, the "All the cigarettes burnt light up" makes no sense, and I changed it to:

"and the cigarettes all burnt up"

and "walking right by me" would be the correct too.

thank you so much for this

[RyanHalsey]

I understand the scratch drum track was designed to outline a basic idea, to me it might be worth noting to the drummer that it should be played with a swing feel to match your guitar if you want that of course!

I think the idea works in the chorus just needs something to change sonically to boost it above the verses

Ryan

[beckylucythomas]

The part with the "The streets ain't the same steps marked up in the snow, all the cigarette burnt light up"

I mean the steps are marked (drawn?) in the snow. Like foot steps.

No worries!......

In that case i reckon i would say "footsteps" or actually better would be "footprints" (prints would be the marks you leave behind as opposed to steps which would be the steps that you take... and the other thing is that "steps" could also be interpreted as steps like a flight of steps, like stairs (that's what I first thought)..... So maybe something like "footprints mark the snow" or "a trail of footprints mark the snow" or "footprints trail across the snow"......something like that.....

Hope that helped! 

Any idea how i can find your track on soundclick via ipad?

[jtgautreau]

thank you Ryan!


caco, can you try this:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12541330