[Peppermint]

Hey everyone,

While I've been working on my other Lyrics I've decided to come up with another song.

This one is about a guy who's girlfriend left him without saying anything.
But returns a couple of days later wanting him back.

Hope you like it  

Find Another way

 

You left me for a guy who said he'll treat you right,
But it didn't even last more then couple of nights,
And I dont care what words you've got to say,
You know you should of said them yesterday,

People always say the grass is greener on the other side,
But you must have walked in there all colour blind,
And now this is your time to pay,
Because you can't get back to yesterday.

Now that today is nearly over,
I know that tomorrow I'll only feel the same,

People say that every cloud has a silver lining,
But your cloud is only filled with rain,
and my heart should be filled with anger,
But my heart is only filled with pain.

Now that today is nearly over,
I know that tommorow I'll only feel the same,

Now I need to find another way,
Find a way to lead you astray,
And if my heart falls into decay,
At least i wont have to hear you words for another day.

The warning lights were already on inside my head,
That night you left me alone in bed,
Theres was no one there to hear my cries,
And my stomach was filled with butterflies.

I didn't know what to think or do,
Because the only thing on my mind was feeling blue,
And if there was one thing i had to do,
It was to move on and get over you.

Now that today is nearly over,
I know that tommorow I'll only feel the same,

Now I need to find another way,
Find a way to lead you astray,
And if my heart falls into decay,
At least i wont have to hear you words for another day.

[habiTat]

Hey there Peppermint,

A nice flowing set of lyrics these, I can only see a couple of small things I'd adjust..

Firstly, in the second verse you write 'must of walked', its purely a technical point but I think it should be 'must have walked' sorry, I sound like my old English teacher  either way it would be sung virtually the same way.

Secondly, I wonder if maybe you should introduce the chorus a bit earlier, or at least the pre chorus, maybe between v2 and v3, just to keep the attention of the listener and provide a clue to what will follow later in the song. That pre chorus would work well as a hook, if you can bring it in earlier it'll be a good way to reinforce it and help it stick in the listeners head.

Overall it's a good piece of writing and well worth putting to music.

Good job

Hab

[Peppermint]

Hey there Peppermint,

A nice flowing set of lyrics these, I can only see a couple of small things I'd adjust..

Firstly, in the second verse you write 'must of walked', its purely a technical point but I think it should be 'must have walked' sorry, I sound like my old English teacher  either way it would be sung virtually the same way.

Secondly, I wonder if maybe you should introduce the chorus a bit earlier, or at least the pre chorus, maybe between v2 and v3, just to keep the attention of the listener and provide a clue to what will follow later in the song. That pre chorus would work well as a hook, if you can bring it in earlier it'll be a good way to reinforce it and help it stick in the listeners head.

Overall it's a good piece of writing and well worth putting to music.

Good job

Hab

Hey habiTat,

Thanks for the review have edited it like you said above and it still seems to flow ok.
Once again thanks for taking the tim to read/review it.

Peppermint

[Stylus]

Hi Peppermint...
                      Sorry for not paying attention & reviewing this...I'm embarrassed (when you mentioned it on another thread)  anyway... I like the lyrics  To be honest...Lyrics on their own  are ok great even
but its hard for me to interpret them in a wholesome way  without pending music.
                 In this instance  I thought  I'll  have a look  as you seemed wounded(other thread) & I
really dont want this....I want you happi!   
               Back to the song!   I think it works for  me    &     I love the  mispelling:

Find a way to lead you  asstray      I like this song  & its writer  even more now! 

                        Shows a lot of promise    Well Done            Stylus 

[hardtwistmusic]

Couldn't get a real sense of how it would relate to music in one read.  I'll come back and read/listen/sing again.

I can tell it WANTS a tune, just haven't found one it likes yet.  Often the difficult ones end up being my favorites.   But I can't say that yet.

[BooBoo]

I like the chorus, seems catchy. Lyrics flow nicely. Good song!

[Peppermint]

Hi Peppermint...
                      Sorry for not paying attention & reviewing this...I'm embarrassed (when you mentioned it on another thread)  anyway... I like the lyrics  To be honest...Lyrics on their own  are ok great even
but its hard for me to interpret them in a wholesome way  without pending music.
                 In this instance  I thought  I'll  have a look  as you seemed wounded(other thread) & I
really dont want this....I want you happi!   
               Back to the song!   I think it works for  me    &     I love the  mispelling:

Find a way to lead you  asstray      I like this song  & its writer  even more now! 

                        Shows a lot of promise    Well Done            Stylus 

Hey Stylus,

LOL  never noticed the spelling error until now must change it haha.
Thanks for the review.

Hey hardtwistmusic,
I have an idea of a tune for it but like you've said it seems to not want to fit into it very well.
some parts of the lyrics do some don't which ends up making the tune sound like 2 different songs.

Hey BooBoo,

Thanks for the review glad you like it