[hardtwistmusic]

Prior to last week, over the last five years,  I had written a series of songs based on Best Sellers that became Academy Award Winning movies.  I had done songs for (Harper Lee's)  “To Kill A Mockingbird”,  (Ken Kesey's)  “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, “Shane”,  (Graham Greene’s) “This Gun for Hire”, and (Owen Lister’s) “The Virginian.”  

It’s not a movie, but  I had also written a song around the best selling nonfiction book, “Custer Died For Your Sins.”  
  
Until now, a workable lyric for Remarque’s classic novel “Alls Quiet On the Western Front” had eluded me in spite of numerous false starts.  This time, I think I’ve got it.  

Please let me know whether this actually touches any emotions or not.  Verlon Gates (HardTwistMusic).

The only song about this book I know of was by Elton John, but the connection to the book just wasn't there for me in the lyric.  



All’s Quiet On The Western Front

Some say the first casualty of war is truth.  
Others say it’s the innocence of a generation of youth.
I don’t know what’s first to die.  And I don’t know what’s last.
But every day I live this Hell, my hope is fading fast.


Fear has numbed my soul at last.  So oddly now relieved.  
Thoughts of glory lost and gone.   So long ago  believed.  
My sole, and last remaining dream -  that my dear mother need not grieve.  
line of music here without lyrics

For Honor, Country, God and King, our enemy I confront.  
And as his bullet finds my heart, All’s Quiet On The Western Front.    
Finally, sounds of war depart.    All’s Quiet on the western front.


Shining hope and purity, relinquished and hopelessly lost.  
Only half of my friends remain, and caring brings terrible cost.
I no longer  know who’s right and wrong.  In the present or the past.  
But every day I live this Hell, my hope is fading fast.


There have been times I’ve dreamed of death as a merciful release.  
But fear of death is a bodyguard whose vigilance won’t  cease.
Where life is daily funerals and existing in a ditch.
We commemorate, and then force ourselves to move on and forget.

For Honor, Country, God and King, our enemy I confront.  
And as his bullet finds my heart, All’s Quiet On The Western Front.    
Finally after a deafening start,   All’s Quiet on the western front.

So many times we’ve dared to hope that this might someday end.  
So cruel to let us hope in vain, and dash our hopes again.
And today the hope is lingering as the rumours spread til when.  
This bullet finds my hopeful heart, and it’s quiet only then.

[PeeJay]

Hi Verlon,

I think this does a good job of capturing the futility of war.

When a ‘gung ho’ approach at the start turns to disillusionment and the desire for survival takes over.

I wasn’t sure about this bit – ‘Finally after a deafening start’ – as I was reading it there seemed to be a couple too many syllables maybe.

Nice one,

Phil.

[KEVIN B]

hey verlon,

this a great write, for a moment there i was right there with him, on the western front !

in places it is a little cramped, maybe you could drop the odd word / syllabel here and there

but overall i liked it very much,

when i was reading this i had in my mind, a slow emotive feel similar to brothers in arms dire straits.

great lyric 

kev !

[hardtwistmusic]

Peejay:   Yeah, the "deafening start" (and the same line in the other chorus) are both just fillers til I figure out what really works.  Sometimes that takes weeks (sometimes years actually) before those get figured out correctly after an initial write.  Thanks so much for reading and the feedback. 

Kevin, Thanks for the comments and support.  Like the line Peejay pointed out, much of this is still clunky.  It'll get cleaner over the next few weeks.  I appreciate your comment about being "there with him." 

To some extent, this is aimed at people who have read the book, so that "right there with him" thing will be especially strong for people who know "him" and "his situation." 

It's definitely one of the top ten books I've read in my life, and arguably the best. 

[BooBoo]

I don't know the book you're relating it to but I think it's a good song no matter. Gets the imagery of war clear in your mind. Good song, I enjoyed it.

[hardtwistmusic]

I don't know the book you're relating it to but I think it's a good song no matter. Gets the imagery of war clear in your mind. Good song, I enjoyed it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0020629/

[hardtwistmusic]

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/4116.Erich_Maria_Remarque

quotes from the author.  After finding this, I'll probably modify the song some to include some of this. 

[beckylucythomas]

Hi verlon!

I think you'll definitely touch some heart strings with this.

A few reworks as you say may help to make it smoother, but there are some really emotive ideas in there, like only half my friends remain, death being a merciful release from life living in a desolate ditch, and again and again hoping for peace only for hope to be dashed...

I could hear it to a tune along the lines of "do you hear the people sing" which is probably completely inappropriate for a song about the death of hope and innocence...guess my brain works in strange ways sometimes! But whilst some of your lines look a little long on paper, i sort of sense that they could still flow nicely with the right music, without drastic rewriting.

It's a very long time since i read the book, but I think you captured many themes.... One that sticks out in my memory though is the one that comes from the christmas ceasefire and football match in nomansland, and the realisation with that that the enemy, normally the source of gunfire and shells, are really just ordinary people trying to survive, with exactly the same fears and emotions.... If you have space for that idea in your song, i think it could be really powerful.

I'd love to see where you go with this song, musically as well as how/whether you decide to rework the lyrics. And i'd love to know what you did with some of the other songs in your book/movie series too!....

[Stylus]

Hi  Verlon
              Its such a tragedy 1914-18  &  I have read many Wilfred Owen poems &  period stuff like:
 Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori .  Your words are amazing  & thought proving.......I'm curious to
the lines
       
Some say the first casualty of war is truth. 
Others say it’s the innocence of a generation of youth.
I don’t know what’s first to die.  And I don’t know what’s last.     

The  last line?  I dont know who's first to die    & I dont know  Whom  is last

 What do you think?  I'm pretty thick when it comes to thickness........    

I had forgotten about this period        till I saw  Spielburgs  WARHORSE  &  really like this

                                          cheerz  bud   impressed!     STYLUS

[hardtwistmusic]

I'm curious to the lines
       
Some say the first casualty of war is truth. 
Others say it’s the innocence of a generation of youth.
I don’t know what’s first to die.  And I don’t know what’s last.     

The  last line?  I dont know who's first to die    & I dont know  Whom  is last

Referring back to the two "casualties" (truth and innocence) both are "things" and thus, I thought of "what" is last.

But the young man in the book is among the last to die in the war, just days after the armistice is finally signed.  Perhaps the line should be "I don't know what's first to die.  Afraid I'll be the last." 

That would be applicable, but anyone who doesn't know the book might not get it. 

I'll let it all percolate around in my brain.  Thanks for the input.  I'll use it if I can.

[hardtwistmusic]

A few reworks as you say may help to make it smoother, but there are some really emotive ideas in there, like only half my friends remain, death being a merciful release from life living in a desolate ditch, and again and again hoping for peace only for hope to be dashed...

I could hear it to a tune along the lines of "do you hear the people sing" which is probably completely inappropriate for a song about the death of hope and innocence...guess my brain works in strange ways sometimes! But whilst some of your lines look a little long on paper, i sort of sense that they could still flow nicely with the right music, without drastic rewriting.

It's a very long time since i read the book, but I think you captured many themes.... One that sticks out in my memory though is the one that comes from the christmas ceasefire and football match in nomansland, and the realisation with that that the enemy, normally the source of gunfire and shells, are really just ordinary people trying to survive, with exactly the same fears and emotions.... If you have space for that idea in your song, i think it could be really powerful. 

I'd love to see where you go with this song, musically as well as how/whether you decide to rework the lyrics. And i'd love to know what you did with some of the other songs in your book/movie series too!....

I LOVE the "desolate" ditch idea.  I'll steal it if you don't mind. 

I had forgotten the football match.  I had even forgotten how powerful it was for him to realize that the enemy were humans, with mothers, children, wives.  You're absolutely right.  I have to get that in.  It's vital. 

As far as tune.... this one is totally up for grabs.  I haven't even considered a melodic treatment.  Sometimes when I write, I have a vocal melody in my head.  Sometimes it would get in the way. This one is still just a poem in my head.  I never try to force a song or rush it.  If/when the right idea comes, I'll grab it.  If you have a tune in mind, feel free to take the lyric and go with it.  I trust your musical judgment.  And as far as the tune you mentioned being "inappropriate" I suspect that this would do really well with an instrumental that conflicted with the lyrical message.  I've written several things where the tune led in a different direction than the lyric, and imo, it adds drama.

PM me with an e-mail address that will accept attachments, and I'll send you any of the other book/movie treatments you would like.  Let me know which of the books you have read, and I'll send them first. 

[digger72]

Hi Verlon,

I'm not saying it won't make a song, but it works wonderfully well as a poem. The subject matter is something I've always been interested in; the Somme, etc. I think it captures the human emotion of the soldiers fighting along the front; their horror; their torment; their numbness. Indeed, the whole futility of   warfare, etc.

Good stuff.

Digger

[hardtwistmusic]

Hi Verlon,

I'm not saying it won't make a song, but it works wonderfully well as a poem. The subject matter is something I've always been interested in; the Somme, etc. I think it captures the human emotion of the soldiers fighting along the front; their horror; their torment; their numbness. Indeed, the whole futility of   warfare, etc.

Good stuff.

Digger

There certainly are lyrics that just stay a poem.  At the same time, I've had lyrics sit and smoulder for YEARS, then finally find the right music. 

I won't just cobble music for this one together.  It will have to be right.  So it might just stay a poem. 

Thank you for reading. 

[Stylus]

I'm curious to the lines
       
Some say the first casualty of war is truth. 
Others say it’s the innocence of a generation of youth.
I don’t know what’s first to die.  And I don’t know what’s last.     

The  last line?  I dont know who's first to die    & I dont know  Whom  is last

Referring back to the two "casualties" (truth and innocence) both are "things" and thus, I thought of "what" is last.

But the young man in the book is among the last to die in the war, just days after the armistice is finally signed.  Perhaps the line should be "I don't know what's first to die.  Afraid I'll be the last." 

That would be applicable, but anyone who doesn't know the book might not get it. 

I'll let it all percolate around in my brain.  Thanks for the input.  I'll use it if I can.

   ahhha  I see it now.......Thanx'z  for that Verlon    Great!  Lov it

[Jess]

I have nothing to add to the above, but you should write a song about 'Of Mice And Men', it's my GCSE English book and it's a great little read