Dead Can Walk

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BooBoo

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« Reply #15 on: September 29, 2013, 04:19:08 PM »
Thanks for your reviews!

Caco - well I'm glad you like the title how it currently is and you think the chorus is powerful. Means a lot so thank you!

Terrysains - haha we must be on the same wave length, I've been thinking about People You Love as a title. Torn between that and the original!

Kevin B - when I used puddles for this I meant it to show how much I've been crying and how the tears have formed puddles in a sense. So for that  not sure how well teardrops would work. Thank you for the suggestion though!
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KEVIN B

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« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2013, 05:33:39 PM »
hi boo boo
   
yeh i understand why you have used it , but it's gona be hard to sing it with emotion, thats all i was getting at,

how about :-  pools of tears flow from my eyes !

or even :-    teardrops gather infront of my eyes !

but as always boo, this is only a suggestion, you can totaly ignore if you wish !

take care  :)

kev !

Dogmax

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« Reply #17 on: September 29, 2013, 09:19:59 PM »
Very nice lyrics BooBoo, the chorus to me read like heavy metal but the verses don't read like heavy metal, but i think the two could fit very well together music wise, as for the name, (I will when the dead can walk)

Hope you're Okay BooBoo, Really nice lyrics.

E50 Productions

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« Reply #18 on: September 30, 2013, 10:07:02 PM »
Love these lyrics, awesome job BooBoo, as I read them I can sense the pain your in. Do you have an idea in your head of how this would sound??

Ant....
Your skin may be dark but it's the black that runs in my veins.

Jamie

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« Reply #19 on: October 01, 2013, 11:05:11 AM »
Hi Boo,
             Good lyric, the music could go in lots of different directions, look forward to how it evolves ;D. I think the title is fine, if it were mine I would call it 'truth will hurt', but titles are very subjective, so what do I know!  ;D 8) ;)
Cheers
Jamie

BooBoo

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« Reply #20 on: October 03, 2013, 09:14:17 PM »
Thanks for the replies guys!

Kevin - ill definitely take what you've said into consideration!

Dogmax - heavy metal wasn't really what I was going for, I don't listen to it but it's interesting to think the song could go that way. And I'm fine thank you!

E50 - pain was what I was going for haha. Hmm not really at the moment. Thanks for commenting.

Jamie - thanks for your review.
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

habiTat

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« Reply #21 on: October 05, 2013, 09:07:29 AM »
Some very powerful words here Booboo, very emotional stuff. I can imagine it being arranged in an Adele type of style, lots of piano and emotional vocals. It's really very good and is well worth developing.

I hope all is well in your world, take care.

hab

digger72

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« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2013, 06:43:35 PM »
Hi,

What a honest song. I like that. Sometimes as writers there is a temptation to try and over complicate things or make them too clever. This has some sheer honesty about it.
The chorus is really good, especially the second half;

But it's the people you love who kill you first,
Left alone unable to talk,
I will when the dead can walk

I too like the (When) Dead Can Walk title. Says what you are feeling.

Don't know what you have planned musically, but exposed vocal like Lennon singing "Mother" would be great. Or perhaps something dark and grungy.

Hope you and yours are okay.

All the best,

Digger

diademgrove

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« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2013, 05:10:34 PM »
I hope you are ok, it must have been hard to write the song.

I like the line Puddles form in front of my eyes. Suggests either tears or rain, or both which seems appropriate.

Depending on how brave you feel and whether you and those around you think its appropriate the title should be the person's name. I'd feel honoured if somebody wrote something this good for somebody I love.

Other wise I think Dead can Walk is the second best title.

Take care,

diadem

Sellon

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« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2013, 07:14:47 AM »
brutal honesty and raw emotion, just the way it should be, there needs to be more people like you writing for the famous people, I don't understand why there isn't, you really have impressed me this time and that takes a lot.
What if we both just smiled at once?

titiami

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« Reply #25 on: October 08, 2013, 02:24:25 PM »
hi booboo nice to see you are still here and still holding on, you have grown lyrically too.

i enjoyed reading your lyrics, they are strong and powerful and they tell the story intended. nice work

BooBoo

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« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2013, 07:13:23 PM »
Habitat - thank you so much!

Digger72 - glad you like the chorus. Honesty was what I was aiming for!

Diademgrove - thank you so much. And I actually found the song quite easy to write because it was exactly what I was feeling at the time and I find that easier to write about.

Sellon - I'm glad I've impressed you haha!!

Titiami - well I'm glad I'm growing lyrically, I'd worry otherwise haha.  Thank you!!!
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

diademgrove

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« Reply #27 on: October 10, 2013, 07:51:20 AM »
Hi BooBoo,

I hope you are ok. I wasn't thinking about how easy writing the words down was but what the words meant to you as you wrote them.

Take care,

diadem

Sing4me88

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« Reply #28 on: October 11, 2013, 04:56:54 PM »
There's a clear emotionalism in this that permeates into ever sinew of this lyric that has been crafted in such an emotionally honest and frank yet at the same time clever way that makes this lyric something else. You've managed to express your very clear emotional distress in a very artistic manner in a way few probably can.Lines that say how you feel but in a way that makes the reader sit back and go 'wow' and then reflect deeper include life being a prize, the people you love killing you first, your desire for a round 2. You've articulated all the dark feelings so well and the only downside is that you have had this dark episode but if it were written abstractly it wouldn't have the raw emotionalism that is reflected seamlessly in well crafted lyrics.The Script line 'take that rage and put it on the age' kinda springs to mind because I think that is exactly what you've done in a very constructive and imaginative way.

Scarriff

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« Reply #29 on: October 17, 2013, 01:06:04 AM »
I totally love this song, it had me gripped from beginning to end.

"...it's the people you love who kill you first"
This is my favorite line, and its so very true. Also the fact that you said "...it's the people you love who kill you first" rather than just "...it's the people you love who kill you"; I think its very clever.

I like to pride myself with my song titles so it would be rude of me not to offer a suggestion.
Although, I kind of like way "Dead Can Walk" is used like another way of saying "when pigs fly". I think the song title really works in that manner, it may be as simple as calling it "When The Dead Can Walk".

So yeah, amazing song!!
"Have you ever seen a Dead Bunny Dance before?"