[benjo]

hey,
 loved this had a listen to the tune as well witch I recommend
 really good stuff well done can't comment on one thing alone
 I enjoyed it all,

                             tony...

[PeeJay]

This was a good read and a fine write.

I also wondered about the title. I expected castles or sand castles or sand but that is only reflected in the first two lines.

If i were to suggest an alternate title it would be 'Does He'.

Nice one,

Phil.

[Allan]

Just listened to this on sound cloud, I really enjoyed it, sounds fantastic!! well worth a listen!.
Al

[seriousfun]

Loved the lyric mate, very nice indeed. Will have to take a listen later when I have caught up with my reviewing ( I am way behind where I like to be ).

The only line that didn't work for me was 'I feel the emptiness of norm'  it sounds weak and out of place, as if it was put in purely for the sake of the rhyme.  IMHO it should be revisited. Apart from that I liked everything. Sure you could swap the lines in the chorus around but they work for me either way. If you get to the stage you have to re-record it, it could be a good exercise to record it both ways and then make your mind up a week later when you have had a chance to listen to both versions.

Nice job

Allan.

[ALECSmusic]

Thanks Allan, Allan, Tony and Phil. Especially chuffed about the comments on the song as a whole as that's the framework within which the lyrics work. I'll take all your advice on board and I probably will get into the studio to re-record eventually.

[hardtwistmusic]

I read/reviewed this when I first got to the forum and had an overwhelming amount of reading/listening to do to catch up to who was what and all that had gone on. 

I just came back and listened again with a little calmer mind. 

Man this is good.  I liked it the first time, but didn't really adequately appreciate just how good it really was. 

The whole metaphor of the sand castle is brilliant imo. 

And, while there were some lines I think could use some minor tweaking, overall, the lyric is excellent. 

Will you have some music for this? 

[ALECSmusic]

I read/reviewed this when I first got to the forum and had an overwhelming amount of reading/listening to do to catch up to who was what and all that had gone on. 

I just came back and listened again with a little calmer mind. 

Man this is good.  I liked it the first time, but didn't really adequately appreciate just how good it really was. 

The whole metaphor of the sand castle is brilliant imo. 

And, while there were some lines I think could use some minor tweaking, overall, the lyric is excellent. 

Will you have some music for this? 

Hey hard twist. Yeah the link to my soundcloud is in my signature and CASTLES is up there. Thanks a lot for your positive comments.

[hardtwistmusic]

I read/reviewed this when I first got to the forum and had an overwhelming amount of reading/listening to do to catch up to who was what and all that had gone on. 

I just came back and listened again with a little calmer mind. 

Man this is good.  I liked it the first time, but didn't really adequately appreciate just how good it really was. 

The whole metaphor of the sand castle is brilliant imo. 

And, while there were some lines I think could use some minor tweaking, overall, the lyric is excellent. 

Will you have some music for this? 

Hey hard twist. Yeah the link to my soundcloud is in my signature and CASTLES is up there. Thanks a lot for your positive comments.

BTW... I'd title this "Sand Castles" if it were me. 

[KEVIN B]

hi alec,

great song my man, flows along very nicely, some great lines in there too,

for me the chorus is the strongest part of the song, which is how it should be !!

i would like to hear what tempo you put to this, and look forward to hearing it,

well done mate, nice song

kev !

[titiami]

verses really do work quiet well for me but the chorus is kind of dull, maybe it is because I've heard many songs with "ill do this and that for you, but overall a good write.