[ALECSmusic]

I'm like a castle made of sand,
Wind blowing choices out my hands,
I'm going crazy without you,
Lord knows I'm hopeless without you.

I feel the bleakness of the night,
I'm fading fast like winter light,
Stare in the eye of failure's storm,
I feel the emptiness of norm.

[Chorus]
Does he love you like i do?
Does he whisper I love you?
Does he hold you in his arms whilst you're asleep?
Would he die for you?
Would he lie for you?

I built you bridges with my hands,
Gave you the world and dropped my plans,
I'm going crazy without you,
Lord knows I'm hopeless without you.

I sold my soul just for your pride,
I gave it all so you didn't have to hide,
They can't amaze me like you do,
My world is tasteless without you.

[Chorus]
Does he love you like i do?
Does he whisper I love you?
Does he hold you in his arms whilst you're asleep?
Would he die for you?
Would he lie for you?

[Saeed AlSuri]

Very nice .. Love the chorus ..

one question in the lyrics how did it end is the saga is going on ??

Great lines .. my favorite " I sold my sold just for your pride,"

Well done ..

Cheers ..

[ALECSmusic]

Very nice .. Love the chorus ..

one question in the lyrics how did it end is the saga is going on ??

Great lines .. my favorite " I sold my sold just for your pride,"

Well done ..

Cheers ..

Cheers Saeed. It's ongoing!

[BooBoo]

I really like this. I got hooked straight away. There are some lovely lines and I thought it was quite a sweet song. The only thing is the chorus reminds me of a song but I really can't think of the song -.- other than that I really enjoyed it!

[Allan]

very nice lyrics, it reads and flows well, I'd like to hear it to a tune.
Al

[ALECSmusic]

very nice lyrics, it reads and flows well, I'd like to hear it to a tune.
Al

Follow the link to soundcloud in my signature and you can!

[hardtwistmusic]

Without effort, I was able to sing it from front to back, then came back and read it again and applied a totally different melody/vocal style to it and it still sang naturally and easily. 

That means it's good. 

Good concept and good message.

[Bernd]

Solid and smooth writing!

The line "I gave it all so you didn't have to hide" wouldn't have matched the tune in my mind when reading the lyrics - but you managed it nicely ;-)

You sold what? Must be something very British...

I'd probably swap the lines
"Would he die for you?"
and
"Would he lie for you?"
to have an increase of intensity. On the other hand that might have been the more conservative and corny approach (too many lovers have died already, most prominently Bon Jovi).

Cheers,
Bernd

[Sing4me88]

Liking this one. Great hook and concept. Loving the line about the wind blowing the choices out of your hand and feeling the emptiness of norm. Agree with Bernrd re changing the lines in chorus about to increase the intensity. The 'would he lie for you' line got me thinking of Charles and Eddies 'Would I lie to you'.... it's a damn good song so I guess you're on the right road

[Neil C]

Alec, good lyrics which feel natural and yet inventive too.
Q: did you mean "sold my sold" or "sold my soul"?
And I'm not sure whether Castles is the right title for it, although I cant think of a better one at the moment either..

Neil
 

[Jess]

I love the verses to this, the metaphors and imagery had me hooked right away. The chorus seemed more 'commercial' maybe a little dumbed down compared to the rest of the song? I agree the title could be a little more relevant/memorable, but apart from that I think this is great

[ALECSmusic]

Solid and smooth writing!

The line "I gave it all so you didn't have to hide" wouldn't have matched the tune in my mind when reading the lyrics - but you managed it nicely ;-)

You sold what? Must be something very British...

I'd probably swap the lines
"Would he die for you?"
and
"Would he lie for you?"
to have an increase of intensity. On the other hand that might have been the more conservative and corny approach (too many lovers have died already, most prominently Bon Jovi).

Cheers,
Bernd

Hey Bernd, it's meant to be 'I sold my soul'. I did think about swapping them but by the time I recorded it I thought it was quite cool that way round. But like you, I had the same concern about increasing intensity.

[ALECSmusic]

Alec, good lyrics which feel natural and yet inventive too.
Q: did you mean "sold my sold" or "sold my soul"?
And I'm not sure whether Castles is the right title for it, although I cant think of a better one at the moment either..

Neil
 

Hey Neil, that is meant to be the lyric! Thanks for spotting it, I modded the post to correct that. I like to think that we're all sand castles when it comes to love. We collapse when the tide comes in. That's the reason behind the title

[ALECSmusic]

I love the verses to this, the metaphors and imagery had me hooked right away. The chorus seemed more 'commercial' maybe a little dumbed down compared to the rest of the song? I agree the title could be a little more relevant/memorable, but apart from that I think this is great

Hey Jess, I like to think that we're all sand castles when it comes to love. We collapse when the tide comes in. That's the reason behind the title . Have a listen to the song via the soundcloud link in my signature and let me know what you think of the chorus set to music.

[HeartStrings]

A small niggle with the "lie for you" "die for you" lines because they remind me of Bryan Adam's Everything I Do (I Do It For You). The storm/norm rhyme didn't work for me, but I did like the winter light/night rhyme. The tasteless line jarred a little. Overall, a promising idea with some nice lines in there, but bits just didn't seem to "fit" for me personally.