[Yodasdad]

Hi all,

Here's one for your perusal. Possibly my last one for a while as I've got a heavy workload at the moment and not much time to work on songs.

https://soundcloud.com/my-idiom/good-time-tracey

I'd appreciate any feedback on the song and also the mix.

I've used new software on this track so for any of you that have heard any of my other stuff let me know whether you think it's and improvement or a step backward. The sound of the vocal I really struggled with, maybe i'll go into more detail in the recording forum at some point.

Anyway here you go.

Thanks, Yodasdad.

V1
She walks the street in broken shoes
Pleases men both young an old
She hasn't got that much to lose
At 23 she seems so old

V2
She's got footprints on her heart
She tries to hide them with a smile
Her path was laid out from the start
Ever since she was a child

Chorus
Her name is Tracy
She's a little bit racey
For a fiver at a time you can spend a little while with Tracy
She's good time Tracy
You can buy a little lovin shell be more than forthcomin from Tracy

V3
Make no sound that was the rule
That her daddy made her learn
Close your eyes it's over soon
And nowadays it money earned

[Saeed AlSuri]

I love it ..

Wonderful song .. loved the chorus .. made me chancel Tracy Racy .. 

Nice lyrics .. good singing too .. the sound mix is good too .. I was hearing a drive guitar intro after the fist verse ..

Man you have a brilliant song here .. well done ..

Cheers ..

[Jamie]

Hi Yodasdad,
                   Difficult subject to write about,but mostly tastefully done.rhyming  Tracy with racy is too twee for me but.......liked the production,vocals,melody  and the keyboard playing.not far from being very good.

Cheers 
Jamie

[Yodasdad]

Thanks for the comments Saeed and Jamie.

Just realised I didn't include the lyrics for the mid 8....

'Someday Tracey you will make a change
around the corner will be brighter days
just close your eyes when all the people say'

[digger72]

Hi Yoda,

Love the keyboard tone. Got a grim sound to it - fitting for the song. Nice idea for the start.
Nice lyrics and melody. Vocal fit well.

Tough subject - well handled.

Liked that a lot.

Cheers,

Digger

[crystalsuzy]

Lovely piano Yoda...I think your vocals sound really nice...I'd have to go back and listen to your other songs to see if they are any better though...everything sounds really clear in this simply arranged, but very lovely song...I think the subject matter is a very difficult thing to write about and you did a good job with the lyrics, but I kind of agree with Jamie about too much of the Tracy racy bits going on...also I'm wondering if you might make it a little heavier as comes into the 3rd verse? just a thought...I think this is a very good song, so well done...don't leave song writing for too long,,,you're very good at it
thanks CS

[fischermans]

Hello Yoda
I like the song and it´s well sung.Also the lyrics are nice but I don´t like the chorus that much.If I were you I would write a new one. The rest of the song is near brilliant.
Nice melody played well on the keyboard.
Alexander

[hardtwistmusic]

Very good song.  Pretty music coupled with a visceral, sad, gritty lyric.  Worked really well imo.

[Kafla's Evil Twin]

Mr yodasdad - I notice there is a dinner with greedo here as well - the old force is strong in this forum - I was going to call myself Vader's Helmet but thought it would too much 

This is very good my pal

She's got footprints on her heart
She tries to hide them with a smile - those lines are so brilliant

You really can play the piano - the augmented chord you throw in the mid 8 is amaze balls - always good for a mid 8 I think - or a change from section to,section like you do,here

I wasn't sure about the Tracy and racy - rhyme - hope it's ok to say this - it cheapens the song a little - makes it more limerick / jokey - I really don't know now go explain this very good so,please don't take offence

The arrangement is very good - structure wise it flows really good - verse , chorus x2 mid 8 and then chorus - classic structure - and you support this structure well with the addition of some lovely strings

It's a great theme , different from love songs , and it takes balls my pal to write something different - although ed sheerin , a team deals with kind of the same theme - although his also,has drug abuse as well - the full bhuna of ills 

Yip it's great songwriting , thoughtful and you have worked to develop a theme which is well packaged and presented

Top work amigo - ho ho ho 

 

[Yodasdad]

Hi,

Digger, Suzy, Fischermans and Hardtwist, thanks for your comments. I'll take on board what you've said and I'm glad that the overall consensus was positive.

BigDong - feel free to say what you like. I can't speak for everyone but for me personally, any criticism that is well meaning is welcomed. I appreciate your thoughts and I'm glad you liked it.
Vaders helmet 

The Tracey/Racey part is obviously a sticking point so i'll take a look at this when I get chance.

Thanks all

[beckylucythomas]

I've got to agree with the doubts about the Tracey/racey thing I'm afraid....i just can't quite take it seriously with that rhyme, especially with how it's emphasised through the melody - if it's meant as a kind of light relief from the subject matter then maybe it works... But for me it would work better with something else in the chorus....

Having said that i think the rest of the lyrics (including in the rest of the chorus) are excellent.

The melody and the stripped back piano ballad style work really really well.

I think where the strings accompaniment gets a bit high around the 2.30 mark it would work better if they were lower, a bit less treble... Just a tiny suggestion, as i think the rest is really great!

Cheers!

[seriousfun]

Top song.

Wonderfully done and I am not concerned about the rhyme with Tracey, it gets the job done and fits with her character so very well. 

A little pitchy on the high notes in the chorus but man that is hard to sing. I tried it myself and it was just the same lol.

Very nice, pretty clear too in the production stakes but then it should be too with such a stripped back performance. I think you will have to wait for a more full production before you can gauge where you are with your new software.

Kudos on the strong song
Allan.