[S.T.C]

Done a rough demo of it..as to my abilities allow! it `s somewhat muddled with the different tracks i laid down..might have to re-do it.

Use it as a guide to a better version..

deleted doing a new version..be patient please.

Lyrics

if you say you're lost
then here`s my hand
and if the way is shut
to the ancient lands

dead winds.. blowing
nobody   knows...
just where were going

sandstorms are coming
oh,can`t you see
faster than we are running
run away with me

run away   run
girl of mine

your damp dress don`t mean
your drowning in the rain
and the old world chimes
it`s rocking again

if you've leave me girl
i`ll be like a snakeskin
on the breeze

 the Autumn  chaff
and a bed of leaves,
who will believe

sandstorms are coming
oh,can`t you see
faster than we are running
run away with me

run away ,    run
girl of mine

can you hear the distant call
see all the faithful fall
ooh stop me breakin
lady you always will

i kneel  like a king
you weep like a queen
i'm just saying
i`m not being mean

sandstorms are coming
oh,can`t you see
faster than we are running
run away with me

run away ,    run
girl of mine

take my hand girl
lets break the day
sandstorms are coming
heading our way

sandstorms are coming
oh,can`t you see
faster than we are running
run away with me

run away ,run away..
girl of mine

sandstorms are coming
coming our way

ooh stop me breakin
lady you always will

[Wicked Deeds]

Hi STC,

There's definitely  a song with potential here.  Unfortunately, it's difficult to critique at the moment.  If you can, try to centralise the main vocal, then pan the guitars left and right - that would improve matters. The percussion is a little erratic and the delay/reverb compounds the problem of analysing the track. Having said that I can hear how a suitable recording/production might be approached.

The theme of sandstorms is a good one  to write around.  Try to support this lyrical theme throughout the song with each section, ensuring that all ideas relate to the sandstorm. Try to make sure that the lyrical ideas of each section flow better. For example I would expect verse 1 to be followed with the statement 'run away, run, girl of mine'. Then, introduce your chorus.  There's some very good imagery and I feel an amendment here and there would make this a much stronger song.  

I really enjoyed listening and would love to hear this develop further.

Thanks

Paul

[S.T.C]

For some reason when i upload to SC it sounds all washed out? I was trying to get a full sound so i put 3/4 vocals.a 3 guitar tracks..one a competing melody but i just liked it and didn`t want to delete..i`m off work till Saturday will try to redo it. as to the lyrics..i just used my first draft..i can see a change or two is needed..cheers.for your moderate and constructive Feedback

[Dave Bradley]

Don't see an SC link...

Washed out...is that because you uploaded as mp3 or other compressed format, someone on here suggested to me that wav is the way to go...avoids double compression, once at source and again by SC

[S.T.C]

Don't see an SC link...

Washed out...is that because you uploaded as mp3 or other compressed format, someone on here suggested to me that wav is the way to go...avoids double compression, once at source and again by SC

good point..will try it out..it just doesn't sound the same as when it`s on audacity.

[man of simple pleasures]

i'm intrigued wheres it at haha?!?