[Stylus]

     
      SKYDIVIN.......   DOGMAX-STYLUS

       

       http://soundcloud.com/stylus-barot/skydivin-stylus-dogmax


   Take me to your party,   I'll be dancin' with you
   You look a million dollars,thats not far from the truth
   I wanna make you mine,so sweet, I fancy you
   kissin' & a huggin'  till the party is through........

   I see a majic sparkle & its coming from you
   I wanna spend my life wanna spend it with you......

   Skydivin..........I'm fallin' for you.........
   I'm skydivin.....  I'm headin' for you.....

   I see you everyday,good job,you live so close by
   I wonder if you see me,with those beautiful eyes
   I really want to tell you that youre so my desire
   You take away my breath & now my heart is on fire

   Every precious moment, so in love so it seems
   Let me really tell you, Youre the girl of my dreams

   Skydivin..........Etc...................
 
      I want you to love me.....till the day.....that I die     (till the day I die......)
      I want you to fall for me... fall in love................ Head over heels
      & fall in love  ............Head over heels.............................................

   Skydivin........Etc......................Fallin for you   ( x2)


   Pure magnetism,No hesitation,Pure adoration,No moderation
   Its all affection,& your perfection,& manifestion,Your attention

    Skydivin...........  Skydivin..........Skydivin........I'm fallin' for you..
 
           
   
   
             
              http://soundcloud.com/stylus-barot/skydivin-stylus-dogmax

[Kafla]

Hey Guys 

Right I am hearing a Tom Petty meets the Drifters vibe on this one through the melody and the lyrics.

It needs to have a bit more 'fun' through it - Pats lyrics are playful and a celebration to that should be brought out more in the arrangement

Keep working on it guys, I am sure you will both get there 

[Wicked Deeds]

Hey stylus,

Listening to your song as I type.  Aspects that jump out at me immediately are:

 . the volume of the drums - I'd turn them down a little
 . I'd also experiment with a different synth sound
 

I'd place this in the category of pop music and could imagine a young up and coming boy band tackling this song.  The production an recording needs further work but the ingredients are there for a commercial pop song.  

Paul

[Stylus]

 Kafla      ha,ha,ha  Tom Petty meets the drifters   I Love it!   Thanx'z for the  listen  &  I'll see to the
tweaking     Cheerz bud

[Stylus]

   Hi Paul  yep!  great observation  &  thanx'z for  giving me some insight  on the adjustments Will
   sort these out                ta very much...............   Thanx'z appreciated  Stylus

[benjo]

hey,

great callab here guys, sounds really great to me nice music nice lyrics
great job you two,
                                tony...

[Stylus]

Hi Tony  thanx'z bud   Yes this is tailor made for my  mate Dogmax  &   we had great fun & communication whilst this was concieved  I really  think  Pat deserves All  the credit & he should put it on his Youtube & soundloud  accounts. He has a very distinctive style & when I put it together  I put myself in his shoes & thought how can I possibly carry this off?  hes a legend  &  I  did a little bit on this song &  that is a gift for Pat & his wife.   I love the 'want you to love me bit..... along with the rest
of the song  but that bit......  I just loved it 

                            Cheerzzzzz  Tony  Thanx'z for the listen & comment STYLUS                          

[hardtwistmusic]

Somehow, when I tried to listen yesterday it didn't work.  Loved how it finally sounded when I got it to play today. 

[Stylus]

Hi Hardtwistmusic

          Thank You for your very nice comment very much appreciated!    Oh & welcome to The Forum
 I'll take a look at your posts when I get a minute.
                                                            Thanx'zzz  Stylus 

[montydog]

I think the vocals have a strangely compelling quality to them and the chorus is catchy.

It's a commercial sounding song. Vocals are strained on that middle eight bit.

The instrumentation is not my taste but I guess it's what is fashionable these days - I have a very strong prejudice against arrangements where nothing has the sound of a wooden instrument in it.

Bring back the age of sail I say when you could feel the deck beneath your feet and the sails straining in the wind; none of this new fangled steel and diesel malarkey!

Alan

[Dogmax]

A Big Thank You to Everyone for all your lovely feedback it is really really very encouraging to read and Stylus your kind words are really nice but to be honest with everyone Stylus did most of the work.

All i did was send him a song i wrote years back with the instruction to do whatever needed to be done, my exact words were  (i want you to put that Stylus magic to it)  and to me thats exactly what he did.

Really really very encouraging Everyone, Thank you one and all.   

Stylus my friend, i think we need to give each other a BIG PAT ON THE BACK      

[Stylus]

 
 Pat.....I'm speechless    &  You are a big Pat     whatever the case (dont you argue) It was a most pleasant experience &  I really wanted you to sing it purely because the majic is in your voice & style. You are instantly recogniseable & your style is unique. This cut is the 1st one merely a guide track  &  I  didnt want  no credit for it .. just a guide track.  The best credit I can possibly get? so know that  both Pat & his wonderful wife liked  the song.

                         Pat   A great big  Pat  & hug     THANK YOU         Stylus   

[Stylus]

        Hi  Montydog  Revered is your comment  &  I've taken heed of areas which may benifit from improvement   Thank you.  I love  the strangely  compelling vocal bit & tried to decipher the meaning people have said  I have a lost & wounded  sensitivity  in my voice not sure if this ties in with
what you wrote.
                    This is a song I can adjust from the reviews as it is current in progress  all the others prior to this i cant really go back to....so will change some sounds & re-do the guide vocal.

                                              Thanx'z Monty    Stylus 

[diademgrove]

Stylus and Dogmax,

I enjoyed listening to your song. I agree the drums are a little too loud. The best part for me was the vocal improvisation as the song was coming to an end.

Looking forward to hearing the finished version.

diadem

[Kafla's Evil Twin]

Aloha Stylus  ,

You know when a few people mention something like the drums you end up noticing it too - but you might not have noticed it had they not mentioned it - but hey giberee that an easy thing to fix - you just turn them down  

You know my pal this is very good - it's got a great pop melody over the 4 chord sequence - and it's got the classic finish up note one line , down the next melody going on - we all like that because it works !

And the refrain is very commercial - skydiving woo hoo - yes I like this a lot

I can hear a little guitar in there shouting ' please let me in the mix , I am good and I will improve your song '  

And there is a wee bit lip smacking where you are feeling the pressure of recording the vocal - funny hiw this happens eh - you practise and all is good and then your press record and your mouth goes drier than a Turkish wrestlers jock strap  

This is amaze balls my pal - and lovely lyrics from mr Dogmax - a match made in heaven

Keep it up