[Wicked Deeds]

I recently had an opportunity to write a very simple song called 'the bitter end.  It has all of the essential ingredients and communicates everything that I wanted to say but it's very much a quick musical/lyrical sketch.  I might develop this further one day but don't expect to be able to produce this further for quite some time and so, here it is in it's most basic format.

https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/the-bitter-end

the bitter end

Silence falls on ancient hearts,
Shutters steal the light.
I've come to hold you in my arms
but all around is night.

You led a good man to the grave of love.
He fell to earth with such a crash.
Now, it takes a death to see,
We could not be.

We said we'd never reach the end.
Pledged an oathe to make it so.
That was long before today
And promises, they come and go.

They come and go, go.
We've reached the end, the bitter end.

Written by Paul Vasey August 2013

[S.T.C]

Nice cadence,liked the guitar....worth working on for sure.

[Kafla]

Paul ,

Firstly the lyrics are sensational - you have packed so much into 14 lines - a lifetime !

I think this is the best vocal I have heard from you - you can hear emotion crackling in every line - it's a brilliant vocal performance.

The only criticism I have is the structure - I don't mind weird structures at all but this song is so good and so emotional it needs to be built around that wonderful chorus ....you lead a good man to the grave

We said we never reach the end is your middle 8 and write another verse

I am only saying this a I feel this has the potential to be your best song - a HIT

I absolutely love this 

[Neil C]

Real absolute quality this one. Loved it. Half agree with Kafia I think you could repeat the chorus prior to the ending, but I like its stripped honesty and its brevity.
 
Neil 

[hardtwistmusic]

I too liked the concise, brevity of it.  Tell us the story, and leave us wanting more.  Too little is definitely better than too much.

Wish I could learn that myself. 

[Jamie]

Nice vocals and harmony! Interesting chord structure.a bit short, needs another verse at lest,but a really good song.I need to take some of your brevity on board with my writing!

Cheers
Jamie

[theLostLad]

What you have so far is fantastic, but it stops rather abruptly. Definitely room for another verse and chorus. Strings are very subtle and could really be brought to the fore and lift a second chorus. Top lyrics, great imagery.

[Wicked Deeds]

Songsthatcry cry.  Yes, I have a little more distance to cover before this song is where it needs to be.  I feel it works as it is but would love to shape it a little more eventually.  

Paul ,

Firstly the lyrics are sensational - you have packed so much into 14 lines - a lifetime!
I absolutely love this  

Hi Andy,

26 years to be precise. Times of wonderful joy and also unbearable sadness!

Neil,

Thank you so much for listening and posting your reply.  

Hard twist music and Jamie,

I have many elaborate productions but must admit I sometimes love to speak straight from the heart - a chance to forget hook lines and simply write about whatever is on my mind

The lost lad,

Thanks for your review.

I had such a small window of opportunity to access my recording equipment - working against the clock, I wanted to express my thoughts concisely and had little time to think about/experiment with song structure, hooks and endings. Perhaps I'll be able to address one or two areas and suggestions in the fullness of time.

Thank you so much to everyone for listening to and reviewing this song  Paul.