konalavadome

Love is cruel

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S.T.C

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« on: August 28, 2013, 07:07:43 PM »
Just wrote this.,,interpret how you will.. :-*


 
i like the way you smile
i like the look in your eyes
i like the way you synchronize
all of your lies

a trojan horse,breaking my walls
and all the trees of Babylon
are lost to your calls
watching me just rambling on

unstoppable forces,unflattering grace
your kiss of  another,is a slap in the face.

cruel ,cruel lover
never waits to discover
what`s a bird in the hand
when theres always another

unstoppable forces,unflattering grace
your kiss of  another,is a slap in the face.

cruel ,cruel lover
never waits to discover
what`s a bird in the hand
when theres always another

i`m just nose diving into the ground
i`m just floating making no sound
extricate my constraints,and pain
heres for the flyaround ,dropping again

 
i like the way you smile
i like the look in your eyes
i like the way you synchronize
all of your lies

a trojan horse,breaking my walls
and all the trees of Babylon
are lost to your calls
watching me just rambling on

unstoppable forces,unflattering grace
your kiss of  another,is a slap in the face.

cruel ,cruel lover
never waits to discover
what`s a bird in the hand
when theres always another


BooBoo

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« Reply #1 on: August 28, 2013, 07:38:03 PM »
I think this is my favourite song by you yet!! There's just something about it that I love. The first verse pulled me in straight away but then the Trojan Horse verse made me fall completely in love with the song. It has some great lines in it. Basically I love it
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

laurabh

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« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2013, 07:41:00 PM »
These 4 lines are seriously awesome.
"i like the way you smile
i like the look in your eyes
i like the way you synchronize
all of your lies"

The whole song is to be honest! Very deep and again, descriptive...clearly expresses your feelings, I like it! :)

Jess

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« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2013, 11:33:29 PM »
These 4 lines are seriously awesome.
"i like the way you smile
i like the look in your eyes
i like the way you synchronize
all of your lies"
Literally, what I was about to say. Probably the best opening verse the forum has seen, you could write a song just repeating this verse and I would be a happy bunny :)🐰
"When writing a song, if your afraid to suck, you'll never write a note" -Jeff Boyle

S.T.C

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« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2013, 11:35:42 PM »
your much too kind,,i will review yours tomorrow when i`m less tired...your up late,,no school i guess.

seriousfun

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« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2013, 04:23:59 AM »
Gratz on a good lyric.  I love the two line per, says it all really. The only change I would make, musician cap on here, is the last line of the Trojan verse, I would shorten it so that it use the same musical structure of the first verse. Maybe "just rambling on"

Defo one of the best posts you have made, and you know I am a fan.

Allan.

S.T.C

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« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2013, 07:46:51 AM »
Cheers SF..i wrote it pretty quickly and posted. :)...i`m sure it needs tweaking...i`m actually wanting to write some`plain` simpler lyrics...but can`t get it going at the moment,,so thought i would just get all my negative energy out. ;)

benjo

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« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2013, 06:55:54 PM »
STC,

enjoyed this some great lines, meanings too
lets have some music to this one, tony...

     well done

Saeed AlSuri

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hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2013, 09:08:47 PM »
Excellent depth to the lyric and the concept as a whole. 

I loved the sparsity of the words.... and how much you still managed to convey with those sparse words. 

I think this is a very good lyric.
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

Neil C

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« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2013, 05:50:32 PM »
STC, knockout with some great couplets in there, really telling it.
 :) :)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..

Peppermint

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« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2013, 06:19:23 PM »
Agree with everyone else that this verse

"i like the way you smile
i like the look in your eyes
i like the way you synchronize
all of your lies"

Is good but not sure about the rest.