[beckylucythomas]

Hi guys I haven't been on the forum for a while sorry!!!

anyways i'd love some feedback on my song - it's just made with 'virtual instruments' - maybe some day i'll find someone to play it on real instruments with me! it's supposed to have a kind of a fairy tale feel to it (i'd love to make an animated short film to go with it - kind of red riding hood style - but as yet i don't have any animating skills!...)

have to confess that part of the drums is borrowed from a track that's not mine as the virtual drums were kind of rubbish, and i can't play real drums - hope that doesn't make it against copyright? The vocals, piano, bass, strings and part of the drums are all mine (does anyone know a better way to create a computer drum track?)

Just changing the link for the new one!  

https://soundcloud.com/cacomusic/stay-close-3

REMIX LINK:

https://soundcloud.com/cacomusic/stay-close-produced

lyrics are:

come in come in my love come in
come in before the darkness falls
come in come in my love come in
i know he's there he hears my calls

alone in the night
the frost may bite and the winds may moan
alone in the night
with threats unseen and fears unknown

stay close my love beware
in the frozen woods the trees are bare
and the wolves smell blood on the frozen air
stay close

stay close my love don't stray
for the raven night is not far away
and the prowling beasts await their prey
stay close

alone in the night
etc

stay close my love beware
don't take the path marked despair
and i will kiss your golden hair
stay close

stay close my love don't stray
and i will keep the wolves at bay
and i will hear you softly say
stay close

[Yodasdad]

Hi caco,

Beautiful track, I love the doubled vocals.

There's nothing wrong with virtual instruments as your track goes to show, ok so it probably wouldn't cut it as a commercial realise but I think you've done a good job with what you've got. Perhaps just a touch more reverb in places on the pizz strings and piano.

All of my stuff is using virtual instruments as well.

With regards to the drums, they work really well but I believe that it is indeed a breach of copyright, depending on where you got them from and whether you have permission. The new Logic Pro x software has got  a drummer feature which is meant to be very good, although I haven't tried it out myself yet.

Nice dreamy track, good orchestration and piano with a hint of twinkle twinkle little star.

Well done

Yodasdad

[Mark Ryan]

If you have the cash and space, then a set of Roland V Drums are your best option. That way if your drumming skills aren't the best you can quantize the tracks in your DAW.
As for copyright, if you've used the same rhythm patterns as someone else I wouldn't worry too much about it as it's almost impossible to copyright this. If you've used someone else's track though that is a different matter altogether and is in breach of copyright. You would have to at the very least pay a royalty for sampling.

[Mark Ryan]

As for the track itself, apart from the vocals at the beginning I really liked it. I just felt the vocals at the start could have been brought back a bit in the mix and a bit of delay added to give it a more ethereal feel to it. But overall a very nice track, a bit Enya meets Dolores O'Riordain. Nice work, well done

[beckylucythomas]

Thanks guys! ok so i ditched the borrowed drums and have just left in my own and played around with them a bit to try to make them a bit less kind of fake sounding, though i don't think they sound great - i'm using garageband for ipad which i guess isn't the most sophisticated of programmes - it does some stuff well, for what it is - but i don't think the drums is one of its best features...... thanks for the advice on alternatives - unfortunately i don't think i have the money or the space for those rolands!! thanks for the advice on the vocals too - i brought them down a bit - i think you were right!! i'm not sure about delay though - don't know how you do it!? do you know whether that's something garageband can do?

https://soundcloud.com/user523253/come-in-my-love-1

thanks for the feedback! :-)

[Yodasdad]

You can add some very simple effects with GarageBand for iPad, reverb and echo included.

When you're in tack view, go to the icon at the top right that looks like faders. You can add it from there.

Incidentally the full version of GarageBand comes free with any Mac or MacBook, which can do a whole load more.

I don't work for Apple honest.

Yodasdad

[Yodasdad]

Just had a listen to the new version.

I agree the original drums do sound better but pushing yourself to to them yourself will only make you better in the long run. Perhaps try changing some of the velocities which will help to stop them sounding quite so computerised.

Also, have you considered not having the track fade out?

The piano seems to end quite nicely, I think it might work well without the fade.

Yodasdad

[Mark Ryan]

Sorry I should have said earlier, I really love your voice.

[ShinyThang]

Oh my giddy good gawd! I haven't been this excited by something I've heard on the forum since 'A Cure For Everything' by Calmlondon. And there is a hell of a lot of great stuff here!

Talk about shivers down the spine! I am now aching to write for strings again.

This is another one who's title didn't appeal to me when looking through the available finished songs. Those who know a little about me will know that titles are a particular issue for me. I do think a song's title is the first thing we assess before we listen. I like short, punchy titles taken from the hook (I know I don't always practice what I'm preaching here). I thought perhaps this one would have more appeal if it was called 'Stay Close'?

I like to stick with reviewing aspects of the songwriting itself but your gorgeous arrangement cannot go unmentioned here. What an absolute delight those plucked, opening strings are! Really made me sit up straight and take notice. That last note of the intro, almost hesitant as if the singer was late and the string section were lost, just for a second. Then your lovely, confident voice comes in and they know that everything is okay. Which I guess is what the song is about; stay close and it'll be okay. Oh and those bass strings at 2:12 ... wonderful.

The lyric is a particular treat. Very focused and clever. Maintaining the metaphor throughout. Beautifully dark in places contrasting with the music and that wonderfully reassuring voice. The world can be a terrible place but stick with me and you'll be fine.

In this verse;

stay close my love beware
in the frozen woods the trees are bare
and the wolves smell blood on the frozen air
stay close

I noticed the repeated use of the word 'frozen' right away and wondered if it could be 'biting air'  instead? I feel bad suggesting it but there, I've said it!

The vocal melody and harmonies take their own, confident path through the musical accompaniment perfectly fit the theme of reassurance for me. Sorry if I'm gushing a bit but this really is a stunning piece.

You want real instruments? Play this to string ensembles and they'll be fighting each other to be the ones on the album. Seriously! And watch the lead violinists  ... they bite!

Shiny-o-meter: 11 and rising!

[beckylucythomas]

Wow!!! I don't know what to say, I'm speechless! Thank you!!

Shinythang, first thanks so much for taking the time to write such a considered review (not to mention that it's so positive!) it really means a lot to me, I can't tell you...! I agree about the song title, i wasn't convinced by it but i have to admit i didn't really spend much time thinking about it... However having thought about it, I'm wondering whether something not taken from the lyrics might work.... Maybe something like "There Are Wolves, My Love" might sort of convey that storytelling kind of feel....? Also about the repetition of "frozen" that is one that i spent a lot of time pondering, and i tried out lots of alternatives but i didn't like any as much, so i just decided to go with it.....

I feel really flattered and happy that i maybe inspired you to write something for strings... Would love to hear it if you do!!

And yodasdad... Thanks again for the advice... I had done a bit of playing with the velocities, but i have done a bit more, trying to get rid of that kind of mechanical sound... But I guess nothing beats real instruments... Also, i didn't use fade out - just diminuendo'ed the part through the note velocities... I've made it slightly less of a diminuendo now......

Anyways, thank you so much for your feedback - i really appreciate it!!!

[Stylus]

Hi Caco. 
               Enchantingly appealing & beautiful. I almost got lost in the grimms bros' tales & was taken aback by the words & music.  You have talent!  both in vocals & layering of sounds. it is irrelevant weather they are virtual or real......its how it sounds.......how it appeals.  its about looking at an idea
& seeing it in all its glory.                      Terrific    Thanx'z 4 share      Stylus

[digger72]

Hi Caco,

Fantastic. I'm with Mark on the Enya meets Dolores - which is a good thing in my book.
It's a song you just want to sink in to as it surrounds you. Nice rich textures.
Very well put together - nice arrangement.

Quality.

Digger

[fischermans]

Hello
Great piece of music.I like the song. Specially the way you arranged the instruments.Perfect song well performed.
Regards Alexander

[Dogmax]

My Darling Wife says Excellent I say the same, any chance of downloading or sending Mp3, your song is really Beautiful and Powerful at the same time, let me know, Okay   

[beckylucythomas]

Thank you so much! I'm kind of overwhelmed that you liked it!

Stylus i love your comment about bros Grimm! It's exactly what i wanted! I spent lots of time getting lost in this website and the amazing collection of stories there - www.surlalunefairytales.com - and, if anyone's interested, some really amazing illustrations - my all time favourite Errol le Cain and also some really crazy stuff by Ivan Bilibin http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/illustrations/babayaga/bilibinyaga5.html.  Anyway, i digress.......

Dogmax, wow I'm really flattered! Of course, send me your email address.....

Thanks again everyone!