[Tester345]

I'm stuck with writing this song:

Here's an audio: http://snd.sc/16KSPkK

Chorus:

You've played the NES and the SNES
All the games that are best
All the games that I've loved
All the games that I've kept

Played Megaman, Sonic
All the flash games too
Now I've got someone
Can I share it with you?

The only I have that is in my heart
I hope one day we never will part
Can we be known? Is that okay with you?
You know... As Player 1 and Player 2

I'm struggling with the verses and I don't what or how I can write this. So if anyone can throw some words at me then I'll be forever grateful

Thanks!

[diademgrove]

I ran into your life
when I was late for work
I knocked you over
You said what a jerk
You smiled as I helped you up

This is the first verse which explains how you met. I'm not a gamer so don't know how you'd get from an accidental meeting to the chorus.

Hope this helps your thought processes, even if you don't use any of it. I liked the chorus very catchy.

diadem

 

[Saeed AlSuri]

Hello Tester345 ..

the words are sang so fast I was unable to follow it .. the melody is great .. and your singing is brilliant .. but the lyrics .. now .. if you delete .. the game part from your lyrics .. you are left with a love song ..
you need to connect the game lines with love lines .. by thinking what .. where .. you should do it .. you could explain why this girl .. where is she from .. why you are in love with here .. that sot of line of thinking ..

good luck ..

Cheers ..

[Tester345]

Hello Tester345 ..

the words are sang so fast I was unable to follow it .. the melody is great .. and your singing is brilliant .. but the lyrics .. now .. if you delete .. the game part from your lyrics .. you are left with a love song ..
you need to connect the game lines with love lines .. by thinking what .. where .. you should do it .. you could explain why this girl .. where is she from .. why you are in love with here .. that sot of line of thinking ..

good luck ..

Cheers ..

Thanks for the advice! I thought my singing was bad and someone left a hateful comment on it, but thanks for the boost of confidence.

[benjo]

hey tester,

this probably won't help I don't know about gaming
but cos you got a bit f stick, i'll try and help if I can
if this doesn't help then sorry, if I does great good luck with it
and I think you've got a good voice too so chin up eh,  tony...



sit down beside me
I'll be 1 you're 2
concentrate your mind
and be prepared to lose

this is where I rule
a gamer through n through
king of the joy stick
and out to destroy you

[Tester345]

hey tester,

this probably won't help I don't know about gaming
but cos you got a bit f stick, i'll try and help if I can
if this doesn't help then sorry, if I does great good luck with it
and I think you've got a good voice too so chin up eh,  tony...



sit down beside me
I'll be 1 you're 2
concentrate your mind
and be prepared to lose

this is where I rule
a gamer through n through
king of the joy stick
and out to destroy you

That works actually, except the destory bit
But it sparked an idea, thank you!

[BooBoo]

So is all that just the chorus?? At the moment I can't think of anything off the top if my head for verses but have you tried writing down so key things to do with gaming such as player 1+2, control, joystick and then seeing if you can relate them to the topic, that may help. So far it seems good and I would like to see the final piece so don't give up!

[Tester345]

So is all that just the chorus?? At the moment I can't think of anything off the top if my head for verses but have you tried writing down so key things to do with gaming such as player 1+2, control, joystick and then seeing if you can relate them to the topic, that may help. So far it seems good and I would like to see the final piece so don't give up!

I've almost finished! I had to modify the melody and key, but it's going well
Thank you though for the advice

[PeeJay]

Hi,

I don't know anything about computer games but just wanted to say i really like these lines:

'Can we be known? Is that okay with you?
You know... As Player 1 and Player 2'

You've had some good suggestions though and should be able to complete the task in true gamer style. In fact, why not liken his pursuit of her to a set of tasks in a game and give an outcome at the end.

Last game i played was Super Mario and my girlfriend at the time kept beating me so i'm afraid i was guilty of 'console abuse' in John McEnroe fashion!

Nice one,

Phil.

[Jess]

Agree, I love the player one, player two, lines, I also really love the concept, I can't wait to see the final 'product'

[Tester345]

Agree, I love the player one, player two, lines, I also really love the concept, I can't wait to see the final 'product'

Thank you! And thank you everybody!

[laurabh]

Seriously awesome idea! Love what you have so far! Can't wait to see the final piece!