Hello Yodasdad,
The beginning works so well, a gentle piano introduction followed by a beautiful first verse of piano/ vocal. It's a well considered arrangement and the gradual build continues with the addition of guitar to excellent though subtle effect. I notice the hihats come in at approximately 1:29. I'd consider bringing the drums in at this point to greater effect (make them a little more full) or perhaps add extra instrumentation to increase the natural flow of the song to hold the listeners interest which you have so far captured well. This is a very good production, quite understated at times and I feel that there is scope to take the many attractive instrumental parts and make them more prominent n the mix. The vocal is nice a clear. However, I can't help notice the elongated notes that frequently occur at the beginning of each new section. Might I suggest that you perhaps vary this a little so that when you introduce the longer notes, they have a greater greater impact. I love the guitar riff at around 3:15 and can't stress how much impact this has for the production. I also note what I think is a subtle organ (I could be mistake as I'm listening through tiny earbud headphones).
The stand out lyric can be heard in the finla two liines as the Horus reaches it's conclusion "
The stars used to shine so bright
A thousand million droplets would illuminate my sky
But now they don't seem to shine
Perhaps you were the diamond that reflected all their light."
I listened several times to enable a fairly comprehensive critique. With that in mind, I was able to gain a greater appreciation of this song and clearly understand the beauty of this composition.
A beautiful composition about love lost. It's a heartfelt song and that comes across so clearly!
Well done!
