[Yodasdad]

Hi All,

Here's a new one for you to have a listen to, if you would.

https://soundcloud.com/my-idiom/perhaps-you-were-the-diamond

I've taken a break from the song I was working on and returned to this one which was on the back burner.

Any feedback at all greatfully considered.

Perhaps You Were The Diamond
© M Blair 2013

V
Now that you've gone away
The nights seem longer than they did before
I've tears rolling down my face
but you're not hear to dry them anymore

Chorus
The stars used to shine so bright
A thousand million droplets would illuminate my sky
But now they don't seem to shine
Perhaps you were the diamond that reflected all their light

V2
The times that we stayed up late
And talked for hours just gazing at the fire
The flames still keep me warm sometimes
But without you here I'm starting to grow tired

Mid 8+
You and I couldn't beat the night
But In my dreams were still burning bright
My memories remain of summer days
Lost in our youth and holding hands
I Wish we could go back there now

Thanks

Yodasdad

[fischermans]

Hello Yodasdad
I liked to listen to the song. Well done nice words and nice melody.What I would do is don´t stretch that many words to give more place for your wonderful piano playing.The other instruments could be more courageous for me.
Thanks Alexander

[Saeed AlSuri]

Hello Yodasdad ..

Very nice song .. nice lyrics .. it sounded to me it fits a female voice very nicely .. I think the song need remixing the rest of the instruments is not clear in the song ..

well done ..

Cheers

[Stylus]

Very moving lyrics  amazing piano & mood  some nice chord changes in here...  so much talent on
this forum   wow!                                     Stylus  

[digger72]

Hi Yoda,

First up. This would be a good write for Robbie. Nice ballad.
Piano work is just right - not in your face; Lets the vocal come through. I like the subtle effect on the vocal (if it is an effect). Sounds smooth and rich. I would have liked the guitar to step forward a little towards the end, just for a change of emphasis.

Nice tune.

Digger

[benjo]

hey,


 lovely job really enjoyed this
 stuck in my head well done,  tony...

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Yodasdad...this is very lovely...the piano is perfect in this and I really liked your vocals...sweet lyrics...I loved the harmonies...I think the chorus is lovely, but it sounds a lot like the verses especially at the beginning of the 1st and 2nd lines...but it works thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed listening to this CS

[beckylucythomas]

the piano is so beautiful!!!! i think someone before said that you don't need to hold the long notes quite so long in the vocal part and i would agree with that. i think some of the "i" syllables are a bit too "a" if that makes sense?? lovely vocal melody though and lovely sentiments too!

[Yodasdad]

Thanks for the comments people.

With regards to the mix Saeed, can you give give anymore info as to what in particular you would change.
I find myself limited in this respect. As all of my instruments are synthesised, some of them really don't sound very authentic so I find myself having to burry them a little bit in the mix so that they work. Bit of a dilemma really.

Fischermans, the above is also the reason that some of my parts are not very adventurous. I generally tend to shy away from guitar completely all as up until now I've not managed to make anything even remotely real.

Any further thoughts regarding the song or the mix, I'm glad to hear them.

[Michael]

Big WOW for the piano, beautiful!

I'm a fan of the subtle instrumentation in the beginning, puts the vocals in the spotlight nicely, just where they belong. I like how you slowly bring in the other instruments, ever building up the musical landscape.

Great vocals, loving the harmonies.

One small detail I noticed: the timing of the percussion seems to be ever so slightly off when it first sets in.
Apart from that no criticism, I really liked the song!

[seriousfun]

This is very nicely done. I particularly liked the way you built the song with a little more instrumentation coming in progressively as it went.

Most of the points I would have made have already been brought up like not holding as many notes and a little more variation in the starting lines of the chorus to separate it from the verse. Maybe even just a change in timing would do there, perhaps if you didn't hold the notes during the chorus?  try it.

As for the mix, a little reduction in the verb on the vocal might be an idea as you sound pretty good but a little too ethereal for the song.

Very nice chord changes, super piano and I loved the lyric.

Kudos on a good write

Allan,.

[Mark Ryan]

Thanks for the comments people.

With regards to the mix Saeed, can you give give anymore info as to what in particular you would change.
I find myself limited in this respect. As all of my instruments are synthesised, some of them really don't sound very authentic [size=16pt]so I find myself having to burry them a little bit in the mix so that they work[/size]. Bit of a dilemma really.

Fischermans, the above is also the reason that some of my parts are not very adventurous. I generally tend to shy away from guitar completely all as up until now I've not managed to make anything even remotely real.

Any further thoughts regarding the song or the mix, I'm glad to hear them.

I used to do this frequently when I first started recording. Then Greg Kane from Hue & Cry got a hold of one of my songs and these were his very words. "If you have to start hiding things in the mix then it doesn't belong there in the first place". If you find yourself burying instruments, just remove them and either re-do them or delete them altogether.
I haven't been able to listen to the song yet as my bandwidth is rubbish for some reason tonight, but I will when it's better.

[Mr.Chainsaw]

Hey Yodasdad

I think the way you build up the song is fantastic. I'm a big fan of songs like that. Especially like the bent notes on the guitar at the end

Agree with Saeed about the mix. The build up is a real strength of the song, so hiding things in the mix is detrimental. Unfortunately I can't offer any advise on this though  hahaha! But it's clear you've thought of the song as a whole and done a good job putting it together with the build up and everything

Great stuff mate!

Peter

[Dogmax]

This has everything really really nice the only thing that can make it Brilliant is just turn up the volume on your vocals, really really lovely song   

[Anna]

This song is amazing! The piano fits the lyrics and melody perfectly and the vocals are good too. But just like Saaed AlSuri said, this song would sound even better with a female voice.
You did a great job, really!