[fischermans]

https://soundcloud.com/a-fisch-1/otherwise

Otherwise          
1) I have to be your attraction
I have to be a charming boy
I have to be what ever you want
because you asked me to be
and I´ll try every day
to be whatever you say

Refrain: But otherwise when I think twice
about your love and all your lies
and when I realize that I´m bound blind
please my darling
go out of my mind

2) I have to be your satisfaction
I have to be your medicine
I have to be your secret haven
because you want me to be
and I´ll try every day
to be whatever you say

Refrain: But otherwise ...

3) I try to be so gratefull
I try to be so honestly
I try to be the best you´ll  find
because I thought you are worth
try to be a perfect man
to be when ever I can

Refrain: But otherwise ...

Regards Alexander

[Bernd]

Cool!

These lines are wonderful:
"But otherwise when I think twice (=> cool internal rhyme)
about your love and all your lies"

"what ever" = whatever (typo)

binded = bound (I think, "bound" would be better - it's the correct form and fitting the meter better as well)

attraction - satisfaction => there's a nice rhyme here with no effect because the lines are to far apart, a pity, actually. Otherwise the rhyming pattern is consistent in the verses:  X X X X A A - so that's okay.

"what ever" => whatever (typo)

honestly => typo

"I try to be the best you can find" => the meter is off, "... you'll find" would fix it.

"because I thought you were worse" => IMO this line spoils it all. I guess that you intend to give the lyrics a surprising twist. It doesn't work for me, though. That purpose is already served in the chorus. This line only irritates. I'd leave it with the submissive side in the verses.

Cheers,
Bernd

[fischermans]

Hello Bernd

Revised the typos
changed binded in bound
changed you can find in you´ll find
for the line
"because I thought you were worse" I´m not sure and let it for the moment as it is.
Many many thanks Alexander

[Jess]

I personally prefer a more regular rhyming pattern, but I'm guessing you've got a melody to go with it love the chorus, that's the best bit for me.

[BooBoo]

I actually quite liked this. The rhyming structure was a bit different but I thought it worked. My favourite part was the chorus, definitely the strongest part of the song for me. I do like it all though!!

[Mattsw2]

Hi, This is my first post! I really like the song and I have been inspired to put my own up.love the verses.all the best,Matt.

[PeeJay]

This is a good 'un.

The only line i thought didn't fit was 'because I thought you were worse' If this is a comparison to what goes before then 'less' would make more sense than 'worse'. As in less than grateful and less than best. As i read it anyway.

Phil.

[fischermans]

Hello all
@ Jess
Thanks and yes I still have a melody
@BooBoo
Thanks
@Mattsw2
Hello and welcome to the forum.Thanks for your words.
@PeeJay
Sorry worse is wrong I mean worth.(changed it in the post above) I´m not that good in english.Have to do some lessons  
Regards Alexander

[Kevin j]

hte lyrics are great, its a nice write, only problem i had is how you read it o the page... could you not put a space between the differeent sections, makes it so much easier to read

[fischermans]

hte lyrics are great, its a nice write, only problem i had is how you read it o the page... could you not put a space between the differeent sections, makes it so much easier to read

Done 

[fischermans]

Song is ready.
Please listen.
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/song-reviews/(b)otherwise(b)/
Regards Alexander

[Saeed AlSuri]