[jameba]

hey this  is a song ive written about my ex girlfriend, when we broke up it ruined me,i cried to sleep the 1st two days and was awake with little sleep for the following 5. i haven't seen her since, when we broke up i went travelling looking for that love somewhere else, as much as it helped when i returned home my love was stronger than ever it made me realise she is the one. i thought id tell u this to explain the chorus and meaning behind it and the song. so ive put it into a song, wondering what people think about the chorus, whether its to many 'your love' in it? or if it goes because in my head when i sing it, it goes well, just wondering peoples thoughts and any advice cheers james

verse 1

Ohh ive been up these last 3 days
think of the day you went away
if you are a million miles from home
id walk it without a moan
walk the second to carry you home
i just cant sleep alone
mmmmm that's because

chorus

your love, your love
just seems so far away
your love, your love
is just to deep to fade
your love, your love
made me wonder
your love, your love
came back stronger

verse 2

ohh ive been up these last 4 days
thinking of your wonky front tooth
the one you pull to try get loose
how you hide your face when you laugh
and always stare at the people you pass
ohh its so beautiful to me
along with all your insecurities

chorus

your love, your love
just seems so far away
your love, your love
is just to deep to fade
your love, your love
made me wonder
your love, your love
came back stronger

verse 3

5 days now and still no sleep
you've tore my heart out in a week
the 1st two days i cried to sleep
I hope where you are isn't to hot
and it doesn't rain a lot
because your happiness
is all i got...mmmm is all.. all i got

chorus

your love, your love
just seems so far away
your love, your love
is just to deep to fade
your love, your love
made me wonder
your love, your love
came back stronger

[BooBoo]

Enjoyed this. I thought the chorus was good and catchy and the strongest part of the song! I also like the way how the third verse explains that it's 5 days later.

[PeeJay]

This conveys the emotion well.

I like these lines:

'thinking of your wonky front tooth
the one you pull to try get loose
how you hide your face when you laugh
and always stare at the people you pass'

Makes it more unique and personal.

Phil.

[Sing4me88]

I like it. A very relateable topic with good emotion, use of hook and plenty of little personal details like the wonky tooth that helps to tell the story. I thought the first verse was brilliant especially the lines about walking a million miles without a moan and walking the second to carry her home.

[Jess]

Agree with sing, the first verse really drew me in. You used lots of phrases I'd already heard but then put twists on them, which made them really interesting and unique