holiday resort

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zare09

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« on: July 27, 2013, 11:24:24 AM »
I've never been so happy, I've never felt so good
It was first time in my life am i suppose to be proud.
I was almost eighteen but i think it's cool
the scars on my neck are the best evidence rule.

(chorus)x2
I don't wanna forget, I won't regret
this is the best thing I've ever felt
it's up to me or it's up to fate
it doesn't matter that's not mistake.
staying up late don't wanna go home
give me the ticket to the holiday resort.

This is how i live my teenage dream
everyone cares or it's jealousy.
will you help me out and stand with me
or you'll just stare and talk that shits.

This is my life, my privacy
those things I've done are so rightfully
all consequences was anticipated
but yours reactions are as i expected.

(chorus)x2
I don't wanna forget, I won't regret
this is the best thing I've ever felt
it's up to me or it's up to fate
it doesn't matter that's not mistake.
staying up late don't wanna go home
give me the ticket to the holiday resort.

(bridge)x2
stuck in here i won't hold on
hear the insults all alone.
just a few phone calls
and my hearts beats knock knock.


(chorus)x2
I don't wanna forget, I won't regret
this is the best thing I've ever felt
it's up to me or it's up to fate
it doesn't matter that's not mistake.
staying up late don't wanna go home
give me the ticket to the holiday resort.




BooBoo

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« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2013, 05:55:22 PM »
The song it's self flows very well. I think you only need to have the chorus once each time except maybe after the bridge, might work better to have it repeated twice then. Watch out for the length of your verses, the first verse is 4 lines long and the secon is 8. You could try and even that out.

I got a bit confused about what the song is actually about though. It may just be me being thick bit honestly, I have no idea. The only clue I really got was 'scars on my neck' which to me makes me think if a fight bit I don't understand why he would enjoy it.

Not a bad song but I think it could do with being clearing (is that the right word?) up a bit.
VOTE FOR JUNE LOTM!!!!!!!

benjo

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« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2013, 08:46:34 PM »
hi,

am i right in thinking this is about a holiday romance
if not i'm sorry, but that's the feeling i got,
i felt the feeling of someone that didn't want it to end
and after the holiday the other person didn't want to carry on,
if i'm wrong i'm sorry some good feelings but a little hard to connect with, tony...

PeeJay

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« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2013, 09:15:51 PM »
Hi,

I was thinking the guy was in prison? I wasn't getting holidays anyway.

I would just use the chorus and bridge once each or it's going to bea bit long.

Phil.
I don't know what i'm doing but i do it anyway.