[calmlondon]

Hi there,

I pitched an earlier version of this track a few months backs. I appreciate all the feedback you gave then. I switched the vocal to mine (sorry) because of the range, and also introduced a chorus.  I'm not still not sure about the chorus, and would appreciate feedback on that - and any bits of the song that stick or annoy, or don't feel right.

Many thanks

Calm

https://soundcloud.com/michelleapatrick/the-journey

The Journey

                                          
I fell  under a train, on St Swithin's Day.                    
I was heading out of town, almost on my way.                      
We waited impatiently, in a familiar place.                                                
I saw the train arrive, when someone stepped into my space.
                                                              
I heard the people cry, no I never could walk a straight line.                      
A grace came over me, I knew it was my time.                      
I could feel I was crossing over, it was a beautiful free fall.

I see Angels, in the face of a stranger.
I see colour, where you see grey.
I've seen Angels in the face of a stranger.

I want you to know how far I have come.
Through the crowds, through the dark -
through the hardest part.
I could feel I was crossing over,
it was a beautiful free fall.

As I walked that Holy trail, I knew I wasn't leaving you.                                                  
From behind that Holy veil, I knew I wasn't leaving you.

[Dutchbeat]

simply beautiful, once again, CalmLondon


i love it, shivers all over
over here in the lowlands

thanks for sharing

[Dan Firth]

Very calm and soothing song. Loved the piano in this one.

Well done with the recording of the song also :-)

Dan

[Neil C]

Miche, I remember it within as soon as the vocals started
Musically ts really upped the song with the chorus now in place and nice middle 8 too, to match the lyrics
But my favourite bit is the "I could feel I was crossing over" loved the line and the melody too.
Somehow I'd like there too be more of it repeated as an outro
 
Neil

 

[crystalsuzy]

Hi CL...love what you've done with this song...so nice to hear you singing...your voice is prefect in this ...love the way you build the drums into the chorus...the strings, piano and guitar work really well together...awesome lyrics...what else is there...beautiful CL...beautiful

PS I have a song in this section called 'Falling Into You' which is a similar theme as yours...I'd love to hear what you think of it

[KEROUAC1957]

You have a really nice voice. I think I noticed some timing issues in the recording which I'm sure can be corrected but it's a really nice song with good lyrics.

[ShinyThang]

Calm,

I love this song. I played the original to death which, is perhaps why I can't make that chorus quite work. Maybe I've played it too much for any chorus to work? Sorry, I know that will sound rude but The 'feel' of that G-D-C-D doesn't quite seamlessly fit with the rest of the song. I know it should work, going to the root and I've done this very thing myself. I feel awful suggesting this. There are so many ways you can go at almost any point in a song and it depends on what you, the writer, is aiming for but, for me, as I strummed along, I found I wanted to fall down to a C-G-D-D for the chorus and that still works with that lovely, refreshing change to Am at 2:24 where you have what I imagine to be the mid 8? For me the chorus has a far more 'conventional' feel than the rest of the song which is uniquely Calmlondon. Having said all of that I am getting used to it now after several plays.

I love your voice on this one. It's the strongest we've heard it I think. Nicely measured delivery and a reassuring tone. To me this song is about explaining to someone left behind that it's okay. Love the stringy stuff going on. I'm a sucker for cello. I found the second guitar parts just a little tiring after a while. They are lovely but perhaps less would be more?

Great to see this one being developed and I'm really looking forward to 'Euphoria' which is sounding great already.

Just one thing though ... where's 'Nashville to Nowhere'? ... must be somewhere! I miss it

[calmlondon]

Thanks all for listening and comments.

ShinyThang, funny you should mention the chorus should fall on C, G, D D. I spoke to LLoyd, the guy with the demo studio and I said, I want the chorus to fall on C first to keep the mood of the song.

It's good to know I can trust my instinct, despite the textbook saying G would be better for a chorus. I wish I'd dug my heals in then.

I'll have to fix, but it will sound better.  Dutchbeat and I are collabing on Euphoria, he's got some rocking ideas.

[S.T.C]

It`s a little wordy in one or two places..that twist the tongue a bit.......also the chorus needs a new third line,or a new third line and then repeat the first line..making it a 4 line chorus..

But apart from those observations...i think it`s taking shape..the first line is particularly nice and shoves the listener right into the song.

[theLostLad]

Agree with the above that its a bit wordy eg, 'we waited impatiently'. But lovely sounding song, especially when everything kicks in around 2 mins, strings, backing vocs etc, its not overpowering and there is still a good degree of separation.

Sorry to be negative about the lyrics, but this is very minor. The line ' I see angels in the face of a stranger' is awesome, very enigmatic.

[Dogmax]

Well Clam

What a beautiful singing voice you have your vocals took me right into your song, lovely lovely words, there is nothing more i can say except, What a beautiful singing voice you have.

WOW

[Dave Bradley]

Lovely voice, great song. Tighten up the beats and up the tempo ever so slightly and I reckon this is a hit in the making...

[seriousfun]

I enjoyed this the first time round, and guess what, I enjoyed it again.

If I recall the vocalist sounded to struggle with the upper register in the first posting. Not pitch, just had that strained sound you get when you are at the top of your range. You vocal sounds more at home so I think you have a better demo here.

Good stuff Mich.

Allan.